Principles
by lonewonderslove
Summary: A mother's concern about the relationship between her son and daughter has unforeseen consequences. Justin-centric. "If I go back on what I believe, who will I become?" Slow burn Jalex.
1. Chapter I

**A/N:** My first multi-chaptered fic for WOWP. Based on a request at LJ. I have no idea where this story is going, only that for the majority of it, it'll be pre-Justin/Alex, focusing on Justin's feelings. Probably spoilerific for the episode "Quinceanera." Possibly later episodes as well. Please enjoy. :D

**Disclaimer:** I don't own WOWP. I'm not kidding.

* * *

Justin settles back into the living room couch, grateful to relax after Alex's Quinceanera party -- in his own body, mind you. He doesn't even want to think about what it was like in the body of that male dance instructor, even if it had only been for a few minutes.

Everyone else has already retired to their bedrooms, or so Justin thinks, until his mother comes down the stairs, dressed in her nightgown and robe, to sit beside him. There is something hesitant in her smile that makes Justin sit up, all attention.

"What's wrong, Mom?" he asks.

"Wrong? Why should there be anything wrong? Your sister just had a great party, even though. . . ." She trails off, expectantly looking at him.

Justin raises an eyebrow in confusion. "Yeah. . .?"

Theresa shifts to face him, though her eyes are downcast while she carefully considers her words. "I know you love your sister, Justin, and I'm proud of you for learning how to dance for her, but--"

Justin interrupts with, "Mom, there's something I want to tell you about that."

"No, just let me finish or I'll never say it, and I don't want to think about what might happen then."

Justin's eyes widen, and he moves one leg onto the couch, folding his hands in his lap. Theresa places her hand on his knee.

"This strange thing between your sister and you -- whatever it is, Justin, I don't like it," she says in a rushed breath.

"What are you talking about, Mom?" His eyes can't widen any more, and he has the feeling he's really missing something. "Have I done something?"

"It's inappropriate, and you should know that. I've raised you better than to-- to--" Theresa struggles with the words again, and Justin holds her hand in his.

"Mom, I don't know what you're talking about, but during the dance with you, it wasn't me. I switched bodies with my dance instructor, Richard, so I wouldn't embarrass Alex, or you."

She blinks for a moment, any sign of tears slowly fading. "What? You mean you knew it was me in Alex's body…and it wasn't you dancing with me?"

Justin nods, and Theresa places a clammy hand against her cheek before moving it to rest above her heart.

She sighs with relief. "I am so glad to hear that. You have no idea what was running through my mind -- for a while I actually thought you might be, I don't know, _attracted_ to your sister."

Theresa laughs, but Justin frowns in confusion. His heart beats too hard when he thinks about what his mother means, and wonders why it makes him feel so strange; instead of being utterly disgusted at the thought of liking Alex in a romantic way, Justin can only conjure images of how doings so could be reasonable.

He knows it's ridiculous to feel like that. Yes, his sister is beautiful, but that doesn't give Justin an excuse because Alex is also rude, annoying, lazy, and regularly getting into trouble with magic or otherwise -- trouble where Justin must constantly bail her out. These should be reasons enough that Justin, and any man for that matter, should stay away from such a dangerous, alluring woman.

Yet Justin also sees the side of Alex that many don't -- how she loves her family and friends, how she has a good heart and means well most of the time, how she can be shy around some people and outgoing around others, how at the same time she loves animals, soft blankets, skateboards and horror movies, and how she has a vulnerability that still enables her to cry in front of others.

Justin tries to ignore the way his heart lurches when he thinks of all the times she cried for _him_. And what did he do many of those times? Tease her, like any brother would. But there were other times when Justin brought Alex into a hug, and now sees that he might have held on to her for too long.

All of these thoughts bring a dawning realization and new perception to Justin's world, and suddenly forbidden emotions swirl through his entire being. Theresa seems unaware of the change her words inspired within him, so she stands and places a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry for ever bringing this up," she says. "Forgive my ignorance of the whole situation, Justin. I mean, I should have been more aware. It's obvious now that I think about it, since you, or your instructor rather, said things like, 'baby' and 'mi amore.' You don't even speak Spanish, so how could I have thought it was you? Just put it all out of your head, okay, sweetie? It was a bizarre notion, and I should have known better than to be suspicious, especially of something so. . .repulsive."

"Yeah, Spanish, bizarre, repulsive," Justin mumbles with little of the enthusiasm he would normally carry for his family members' various outlandish ideas. Because this thought has taken root in his very core, and he has this awful feeling that if left alone, it might devour him whole, body and soul. Then what would become of him?

"Good night," Theresa says. "Sweet dreams."

Justin doesn't respond as his mother makes her way back up the stairs to her bedroom because he knows that at the rate of his speeding thoughts, when he sleeps tonight, his dreams won't be filled with anything that could be considered good by normal, _moral _standards of conduct. And Justin is scared because he knows that his principles are completely, easily amendable whenever Alex is involved.


	2. Chapter II

**A/N: **This chapter is more mature because Justin's a teen-aged boy. So warnings for thoughts of incest and mentions of sexuality. Please enjoy. Oh, and if you don't already know, I update my profile with my weekly chapter progress, so you'll know when to expect the next chapter. Usually within one week. :D

**Disclaimer:** Guys, really. I don't own WOWP.

* * *

Justin wakes from a night of fitful sleep and his most recent dream, sweaty and ashamedly hard; he doesn't remember the contents, only that it was about Alex. He rubs his eyes, trying not to cry out of pure frustration, and he waits until he's calmed down before heading to the bathroom.

He's always awake before Max and Alex, so he doesn't have to worry about rushing. He takes his time in the shower, letting the spray of warm water ease the tension from his shoulders and back. If only his mind would cooperate and not continually bring up images of his sister -- images he hates to think he's conjured from family vacations, one of the few times Alex has ever worn so little clothing, when bathing suits shouldn't be so scandalous. Yet in his mind, they become shameful as Justin wishes he could see more of his sister's smooth skin.

Justin gets his wish when he exits the bathroom, a towel tucked snugly around his waist, to find Alex waiting outside. She's wearing shorts and a tank top that show more skin than he's seen in a year, suddenly making him want to reconsider a cold shower because his mind is running away with him again. It sickens him that he notices she isn't wearing a bra because her nipples show through the thin material of her shirt. He passes her quickly, but turns back around when she scoffs -- something he's always found annoying.

"Ew, Justin. You should really wear a robe to cover up all that gross, pale skin," Alex says. Her arms are crossed, covering her breasts, which makes Justin vaguely wonder whether she caught him staring. But her eyes are trained somewhere around his navel, and he finds it difficult to gather the breath to respond as normally as possible.

"I would if _someone_ hadn't stolen it and given it to Harper."

Her dark eyes glitter mischievously when they meet his, and one corner of Alex's lips curl into a smirk. "Hey, she paid me for it."

She whirls around and locks herself in the bathroom like that interaction was a daily occurrence. But Justin doesn't ever remember Alex looking at him like that before, and it's screwing him all up. Has she always studied him, and he just never noticed before? If so, what exactly does that mean? It was probably innocent, but apparently her intense gaze gave another part of his anatomy the wrong idea.

Justin hurries to his room, closing the door behind him and leaning against it. He has to do something. He can't just go on everyday, having such outrageous thoughts and feelings about Alex. Obviously, it's interfering with his perception because he's started interpreting innocuous actions as something more indecent.

For Heaven's sake, she's his little sister! She's young and innocent (some of the time; at least when it comes to matters like boys and sex), and he should never think of doing something so immoral as pushing her up against the wall to feel her taut nipples against his warm skin, or guiding her small hands to untuck the towel from his waist. . . .

Justin bangs his head against the door. Why? Why can't he stop thinking about Alex? He never had this problem before talking with his mother. It wasn't right to blame Theresa, but she certainly planted the seed that's started growing, infesting his mind.

There's got to be something Justin can do to get his mind off how he's suddenly attracted to Alex. He manages not to think about her as he finally gets dressed, but when he goes down for breakfast, there she is, sitting at the kitchen table with Max, like it's supposed to be any regular day. But it's not, because the morning before, he was able to sit beside her without noticing how their elbows brush together. Now he's acutely aware, and his body heats up as he can't stop himself from thinking about their encounter outside the bathroom, and his dream, and everything that's just _wrong_.

"Dude, you don't look so good," Max says around a mouthful of bacon.

"Do you have a fever?" Theresa asks, immediately running over to place a hand against his forehead. "You do feel warm. Maybe I kept you up too late?"

"No, I just spent too long in the shower," Justin says, pushing his mother's hand away.

"I'll say." Alex snorts. "I was waiting forever. What were you doing in there? Wait, never mind, I don't want to know."

She's laughing, and Max is laughing, but Justin only flushes with embarrassment.

"Alex, don't tease your brother," Jerry says without looking up from the newspaper in his hands. He doesn't even realize his command does no good as she continues to laugh.

Justin stares at the eggs on his plate, unable to react like Alex's comment didn't bother him. Beneath the table, she knocks her knee against his, a show that she's only playing. Yet Justin suddenly finds Alex's smirk too tempting, and he moves away, the chair loudly scraping against the wood floor.

He doesn't like Alex's look of confusion. He wants to smooth away her frown with his lips, and the realization hits him violently. He's sick to his stomach, so he doesn't eat, and all he wants to do is hide in his room, but he knows he'll only end up falling asleep and dreaming something plea-- _unpleasant_.

Justin's never wanted to skip school before, but the thought of riding the subway is nauseating because he knows he'll sit beside Alex with their legs and shoulders constantly bumping, and Alex will occasionally grab onto his arm to avoid falling off the seat during a turn; she'll lean too close to him to compensate for the gravitational sway, and then she'll really be too close when the train car stops, causing her to press against him, and Justin really doesn't want to face that. Not with his mind so messed up.

Though Theresa seems more than willing to write him a sick note, he refuses. Justin's sick all right, but he's not one to skip school because of emotional turmoil. So he ends up standing in the crowded train, with Alex looking up at him, her dark eyes intensely searching for some clue concerning the change in his behavior. The entire ride to school, Justin finds the view of the tunnel walls speeding past the window above Alex's head to be extremely interesting, and it isn't surprising that for the rest of the day, and for once in his life, Justin finds it nearly impossible to concentrate on his schoolwork.


	3. Chapter III

**A/N:** Not much Jalex interaction, but the next few chapters have plenty. Remember, during the week, my profile is updated at the bottom with the progress of my chapters for this fic. Oh, and reviews are always appreciated. :D

**Disclaimer:** I still don't own WOWP. It won't change.

* * *

At lunch, Justin is kicking himself for not having eaten breakfast because he feels even worse, with both a stomachache and headache. He consumes his sandwich so fast that Zeke's wide eyes across from him indicate the doubt of whether he chewed his food, or merely dislocated his jaw like a serpent.

"What's up? Did you actually run in Gym today?" Zeke asks.

"No. We played basketball, and I got hit in the head a lot. Though I think that was on purpose. I just wasn't in the mood to eat this morning." Of course Justin doesn't mention why, because even if Zeke is his best friend, he'd never understand Justin's feelings. Though he doesn't necessarily have to be straightforward about it. . . . Justin takes a big gulp of soda, trying to work up the nerve to be direct as possible, without giving too many details.

He's nervous and feels awkward because he can see Alex from the corner of his eye, sitting at a distant table. She's probably not thinking about him -- as if he would honestly expect her to? -- which only makes him feel worse for not being able to get images of her from that morning out of his head.

But Justin can't continue like this, so he asks, "Hey, Zeke, have you ever been, well, attracted to someone you shouldn't be?"

"You mean like Gigi?"

Justin nearly snorts his next sip of soda up his nose. Once he's finished choking, Zeke smiles.

"I was just kidding, man. She's hot and all, but I'm pretty sure no one can be attracted to such a nasty personality."

"Right. . . ."

"So who? Is it a guy? 'Cause if so, I think that's pretty norm--"

"It's not a guy, Zeke." _It's someone much worse_ goes unsaid. Justin hesitates before continuing. "I see this girl everyday, and I -- I was never attracted to her before, you know? But now, I just can't stop thinking about her in totally inappropriate ways."

"Is it that girl who always hangs out with your sister? What's her name? Harper?" Zeke's still encouragingly smiling, and Justin wishes he could just say yes. That it's his sister's best friend, and not his _sister_.

Instead, he says, "It's not her either. Just tell me how I can stop thinking about this girl. There's got to be some way. I mean, it all started because of something my mom said, so there's got to be a way to undo the attraction, right?"

"I don't know, man. I don't think you can just be attracted to someone because your mom said something," Zeke says, pausing to swallow his macaroni salad. "You had to have already been attracted to this girl, and you only noticed now because it was brought to your attention."

That idea frightens and sickens Justin even more, making him wish he hadn't eaten so much as his stomach churns.

"You're looking kind of green," Zeke says, trying not to be obvious about scooting out of projectile vomit range. "If you really want to put an end to the attraction, you can try something like cognitive therapy. Just change the way your brain works, and it's simple."

"Yeah, simple," Justin mutters, already pondering if it could work. Anything would be worth trying if it meant he could stop thinking about Alex in such an abominable way. So he wouldn't feel so repulsive and absolutely detest himself for looking at his sister the way any other man would. Because he's not any other man; he's her brother -- the guy who always protects her, digs her out of trouble, and teases her, gets teased in return, and at the end of the day, just wants the best for her.

And the best for Alex is definitely not Justin. _You bring out the best in each other_ echoes in his mind, and somewhere inside himself, he wants to think it's true. He and Alex are really nothing alike, and they constantly get on each other's nerves, but when it comes to family, they would both do whatever it takes to protect the people they love. Justin still remembers using magic against Professor Crumbs to keep Alex from having her powers taken away, and he has never once regretted it. What Justin does regret is losing control of his feelings for Alex.

Even if she won't admit it, she looks up to Justin as her big brother. She criticizes him for being too smart, and he criticizes her for being so rebellious, yet those qualities are the same ones they both admire and are proud of in each other. That's normal. It's not normal, however, to be physically attracted to your sister, especially when it begins to affect your relationship with her. And Justin doesn't want his relationship with Alex to change. He enjoys their playful banter, being able to exchange advice, being able to _look_ at her without wanting to do something deplorable.

Though Justin's thoughts have run away with him again, Zeke hasn't given up on the conversation.

"Oh, is it your cousin or something?" he asks. "'Cause I hear that's normal too. Did you know that in Japan, first cousins can get married? It's outrageous, right? Cutting it close, I mean."

No, cutting it close would be marrying your sibling. Not that Justin wants to marry Alex. He knows she'd just be a pain in his ass -- not that she isn't already, but it'd be different. She would nag him about cooking and cleaning because she would never do it herself, she would hog the television like always, and take up all the space on the couch until she's partly laying on him, and. . .exactly when did Justin even begin to think it would be _all right_ to consider marriage with Alex?

It's not even that it would never happen, but that it _can't_ happen. Justin doesn't believe how far from the normal track his mind has derailed, and it's really upsetting. He's supposed to be the "good" child, the one who gets excellent grades, and wants to attend a decent college to be a robotics engineer. But the way Justin feels now, it's like he might as well have no future if he can't focus on anything but Alex.

If only his mother hadn't mentioned her fear of something strange between the two of them, then everything would still be normal, and Justin wouldn't feel like there's a heart attack waiting to debilitate him every time he sees his sister. Or not. . . . He has to stop blaming Theresa because maybe Zeke's right. Justin's always known Alex is beautiful, so maybe it wasn't that difficult to bring out some hidden attraction to her. If it hadn't been his mother's talk with him, maybe there would have been another trigger. It's revolting to think he's corrupt enough to actually have some inclination toward his own sister, when he can barely even get a proper date with a girl.

Justin's eyes are drawn to Alex, where she's obviously laughing loudly and obnoxiously, and all he wants is to be able to hear her. He wants to be in Harper's seat, joking and having a good time with her, even though they've never eaten lunch at school together. It would be too weird and revealing for him to do so all of a sudden, right? Plus, he'd want to hold her hand or something, like her boyfriend would do, and that's just not healthy.

Whatever the cause of his sudden attraction to Alex, Justin knows it has to end. He can't afford to be the kind of guy who screws up his entire life because of some confusion of his affection. He can't continue on this path that will only destroy him from the inside out. As the lunch bell rings, Justin's decided that after school, he'll look up all the therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists that he can find around the neighboring areas. He wouldn't dare go to anyone in Waverly Place because that would just be too close to home. His problem is already in the home, so he needs to find his help away from anyone that he may know, anyone that may know him or Alex. He has to find his help away from Alex most of all, otherwise Justin might very well lose himself.


	4. Chapter IV

**A/N:** Thank you so much for your support, everyone! It means a lot to me, and I love how the reviews doubled with one chapter. XD

Someone mentioned how my chapters are short, so what do you guys think? What do you prefer: shorter chapters with faster update times or longer chapters with slower update times? I personally enjoy updating about three times in a two week period.

Anyway, the next few chapters have more Jalex interaction, and the story really starts to progress. Remember to check my profile during the week for info about updates and such stuff. :D

**Disclaimer:** Come on, people. I don't own WOWP.

* * *

The end of school doesn't come soon enough for Justin. He's managed to avoid Alex all day, but she finally finds him in the hallway. He spots her coming from the corner of his eye, so he slams his locker shut and tries to make a run for it. But she's always been faster than him, so she easily catches up and grabs his arm to force him around face-to-face.

"Justin, what's the matter with you?" Alex asks. "You've been acting really strange today."

He finds it difficult to look into her dark, expecting eyes and lie. "A-Alex," his voice cracks around her name, making him flush hotly. "I'm fine."

"If it's about this morning, I really don't care what you were doing in the bathroom. I was only joking, you know that."

He nods, but looks away, out over her head where it appears that Harper might want to join them. Justin's startled when Alex grabs the front of his shirt.

"Why won't you look at me?" she asks, though it's more of a command, and he obeys like always. "Just get over it. It's perfectly normal, right?"

Justin doesn't know what to make of the fact that she's almost blushing herself and starting to do her awkward shrug and hand movement (as if she could wave off her embarrassment). He takes her hand in his so he can pull it away, but all he can feel is soft, smooth skin, and Justin _knows_ he's made a big mistake.

"I wasn't doing anything, Alex," he finally says. He hasn't released her yet, and she doesn't seem eager to move away.

"Then are you angry at me?" Her voice wavers in that way he knows means she's vulnerable, and the last thing he wants is to hurt her.

"I'm not angry at you. I'm angry at myself, and just leave it at that." He swipes his thumb across the back of her hand, and realizes they're standing too close, and he's starting to get paranoid that other people might be able to notice that something is _terribly_ wrong with him -- that Justin is actually attracted to Alex.

He steps back and drops her hand. When he runs his hand over the top of his head, it faintly smells of vanilla. He doesn't dislike the scent, but it's Alex's and he shouldn't smell like her. He shouldn't want to hold Alex close just to feel her warmth or want to feel comforted by resting his head against hers, like two lovers. It just isn't right, and thinking this way will end up hurting both of them.

"Justin?" His name from her lips sounds too good, and she's looking up at him with wide, confused eyes.

"I-I'm going to the library," he stutters out as he walks away. "Go home with Max."

He feels bad about leaving her behind to stare at his back, but it's too dangerous to be so close to her. Justin's used to doubting himself when it comes to girls because he's always such a dork, and he never knows what to say. And if anything, he's always unsure when it comes to romantic stuff, or something like kissing -- which he shouldn't even be thinking about doing with his sister.

Justin's never had to worry about being too forward with a girl, or too forceful, but for once he doubts his control, and he hates that it's around Alex. One of the few people he's never tried to act cool around because even if she teases him for it, she accepts that he's a raving geek who likes to build robots and speak alien languages. He doesn't want to have to pretend to be someone else around her, but what other choice does he have when the real him is so revolting?

At the library, Justin looks up as many addresses and phone numbers he can find for nearby professional help. It takes him nearly two hours of calls before he finds a place that has a free consultation visit. He knows it's probably useless because he'd just be told what he already knows: that he needs a lot of help, and that he might be making many, many visits. Plus, it's depressing to hear that he can't get in until Friday afternoon, and Justin doesn't know if he can last an entire week in his current state of mind.

Back on Waverly Place, Justin hesitates outside the Sub Station. It's the dinner rush hour, and he doesn't particularly feel up to working. He doesn't even want to do his homework, which is very much unlike him. Yet Justin pushes open the doors to release the cacophony of too many people talking too loudly during a time that should be relaxing after a long, hard day.

He stands on the steps for a moment. Theresa is taking orders, Max is bringing drinks, and Alex is at the register between helping Jerry with the trays of sandwiches. Justin breathes deeply before proceeding to weave his way through the occupied tables and chairs. He sets down his backpack behind the counter, grabs his apron, pulling it around his neck and tying it quickly around his waist.

"I'll take over," he says.

Alex turns around with a smile that quickly disappears as she narrows her eyes. "Oh? Good, I've got better things to do."

She shoves the paper pad and pen into his chest, and he barely manages to catch it before she's already hopping away up the stairs. Justin sighs. He hadn't figured Alex might be mad at _him_ now. The idea makes his chest ache because he knows it's his fault, and even though he didn't want to hurt her, he somehow ended up doing just that.

Justin tries to take his mind off Alex, so he takes over when his mom goes on break. He writes down one order and flips to the next page, only to find a rough sketch of a park scene with two people sitting on a bench. He smiles because even though her talent for art has grown, Alex's trees look like green lollipops. Justin wonders about the two faceless people, but he goes back to work because his imagination wants to put him there with Alex, and that just _won't _do. Justin crumples the paper, tosses it into the trash, and desperately wishes he could do the same with the conflicted feelings threatening to tear him apart.


	5. Chapter V

**A/N:** Glad you don't mind the short chapters. I feel better about myself now. :D My announcement concerning this story and the rest of summer is in my profile, so please read it and let me know what you think.

**Disclaimer:** Sorry, still don't own WOWP.

* * *

It's later than usual when the Sub Station closes, and Jerry swears that next time he'll kick out the customers, even if they haven't eaten or paid, because his back hurts too much for another day of standing so long. He takes an icepack to bed with him, and Theresa makes tea while Max actually tries to finish his homework, instead of waiting until the morning.

Justin heats up leftover pasta from the night before because he intends to be awake for a while. He wants to re-read the chapters from class since none of the information had stuck with him. He won't admit that he's avoiding sleep because he's afraid of the images that might be conjured by his uninhibited mind -- images that will put Alex in a less than sisterly manner with him.

He leans against the counter, waiting for the microwave, and Theresa comes to stand beside him. She wraps her arm around his waist, placing her head against his shoulder. Out of habit, Justin moves his arm to hold her too, but then he feels awkward, like he somehow doesn't deserve to be touched by his loving mother. What would she say or do if she knew his unhealthy feelings?

"Are you upset about last night?" asks Theresa quietly. "I really don't want you to be uncomfortable or anything, because I know it was all just a misunderstanding."

Justin wonders if this is the opportunity to be completely honest. Hell, maybe she'd be able to talk him through it -- out of it, whatever. But he remembers how distressed and disappointed she was, and he really doesn't want to see her like that ever again. So he'll suffer in silence if that's what's necessary to keep everyone else happy.

"No, I'm okay, Mom," he says. "I only had a nightmare and didn't get much sleep. I'll be fine."

She soothingly rubs his back as she pulls away. "All right, sweetie. Don't stay up too late. Come on, Maxie, let's go to bed. I'll help you in the morning."

"Finally!" Max says with a laugh, stretching his arms over his head. "I've been struggling with this one problem, you know?"

"Oh, I know. I know."

Their voices fade up the stairs, and the microwave bell chimes. Justin savors the aroma and flavor of his mother's homemade herb pasta (from a recipe on his father's side), and for one of the rare moments of the day, he doesn't think about Alex. Though it doesn't last long, as he makes his way up to his room so he can eat while doing homework, because in the hallway he nearly runs into Alex as she steps out of her room.

"Ooh, pasta," she says, pinching a few noodles between her fingers. Justin doesn't even pretend not to stare when she tips her head back and slowly slides the noodles into her awaiting mouth. As she walks past him to the bathroom, he hears, "Mmm, tasty."

Justin clears his throat, hastily telling himself not to think anything about it. In his room, he relaxes at his desk. He manages to read one chapter about World War II, and he answers all the required questions without even thinking about them. It's all information he's learned before, so it doesn't take him much effort, only time. He even finishes his Calculus problems before his vision begins to blur and his eyelids droop.

He takes a break, almost wanting to take a nap before finishing his work, but that seems like a bad idea. Looking at his bed, though, he realizes there is a bag on the floor beside it. It doesn't look like one of his, and he doesn't remember putting it there, so he carefully picks it up and examines the contents. Justin blinks in surprise before pulling out the soft, dark blue, terry cloth robe.

_Alex_, Justin thinks fondly, bringing to mind an image of her bright smile and shy shrug. Sometimes she could be so thoughtful. . . . He smiles for the first time that day, and it feels good. His first instinct is to go thank Alex, so he follows it and this time doesn't over think his actions.

Her bedroom door is closed, but light shines out from the bottom. Justin knocks quietly, not wanting to wake anyone else. There's no answer. His heart starts beating faster as his hand settles on the cold brass handle. He's been in her room hundreds of times, but this feels different even though it shouldn't. It should just be an occasion to properly thank his sister for doing something nice (when she normally doesn't).

Justin opens Alex's door just enough to make sure she isn't indecently exposed or something, but he can't see her. He walks in slowly and quietly, only to find her asleep on her bed with a sketchpad abandoned on her stomach and a pencil still loosely held between her fingers. It's difficult for him to swallow as he approaches the side of her bed.

"Alex," Justin calls. She doesn't even stir, and he's not surprised because she's always slept like a log. He's hesitant to touch her shoulder through the thin material of her sleep shirt (It doesn't go unnoticed that she isn't in her same tank top and shorts as the morning).

His hand settles on her small shoulder as he gently shakes her. Alex bolts up, an arm swinging up to hit Justin square in the jaw, and he remembers exactly why he doesn't like to wake her up.

"Jeez, Justin! What's wrong with you?" she cries, obviously startled. He tries to ignore the voice in his head that says _Plenty_.

"Me? What's wrong with you?" Justin rubs his cheek, watching as she suddenly scrambles to flip closed her sketchpad and tosses it over the side of the bed, onto the floor.

"You didn't see anything, did you?" she asks, eyeing him suspiciously.

"No, I don't care what you draw when you're half asleep," Justin mutters. He holds up the blue robe. "I just wanted to thank you for buying this for me. You didn't have to."

"Oh ho, yes, I did. No one needs to see you walking around in just a towel." Alex's smile is not as enthusiastic or teasing as usual, and it makes him wonder. She fidgets and piles her hair into a messy bun, securing it with her pencil. It looks good on her, and Justin wishes she would pull her hair from her face more often so he can see her beautiful eyes and pursed lips. Wait. . . .

Justin's eyes move up to meet Alex's, to find her watching him, watching her, which makes his blood rush, and he knows his face is turning red.

She scoffs before saying, "I would pay anything not to see your pasty skin and pathetic muscles again."

Her comment would hurt if her eyes didn't keep bouncing back to his, glittering with mirth, and Justin _so_ misses this interaction. It's only been one day, but he still feels like it's been forever since he could be even halfway normal with her.

"For your information, I've been working out," Justin says, holding out the robe as if he were actually making a valid point.

He smiles, laughs a little, and she joins in. He's uneasy, but Justin's decided he'd rather see Alex's pretty face than keep avoiding her. He may have unseemly inclinations, but standing in her room with her eyes holding his attention, Justin believes he can control himself. Of course, his heart might be trying to tell him otherwise.

Justin starts easing himself backwards, heading for the door. "Well, I'll see you in the morning then."

"Yeah." She moves to get under the blankets, and he quickly leaves, closing the door behind him.

Justin sighs and takes refuge in his own room. If he can just stand the way his heart pounds in response to her smile, then he can still be a good brother to her, which is what he wants. It's not all that he wants now, however, as he still has the urge to embrace her, or show his gratitude through something like a kiss. But it'll have to do, because even though Justin's attracted to Alex, he doesn't want to change himself or their relationship. He loves her, and they're family, so that's all they have to be, no matter how hard his heart beats for something more.


	6. Chapter VI

**A/N:** Thanks, all, for replying to me. I guess I'm leaning more towards option two, so maybe it won't feel like you guys have to wait forever for me to fully return. And I think I'll hold off on Alex's POV until I know more about where this story is going. But I am seriously thinking about that Dasey story. :D

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, I will never own WOWP.

* * *

The next morning, Justin feels better because he'd finished his homework and actually managed to sleep for a while. He doesn't remember his dream, but figures that's better than remembering too much. After showering, he uses the new robe Alex bought him, and it feels like it's going to be a good day until Justin sees Alex sitting at the kitchen table, his heart beating faster for no logical reason.

When he sits beside her, she flashes him a quick smile before stuffing her mouth with an impossibly large piece of pancake. Her puffed cheeks make Max crack up, which causes her to giggle and snort until she's suddenly choking and struggling for air. She's not coughing, which makes Justin panic. He scrambles up and pulls Alex from her chair so that she's standing.

"Can you cough?" Justin asks.

Alex gags and shakes her head, cheeks quickly turning red.

He tries to gather his wits. "All right, uh -- I'm going to do the Heimlich Maneuver on you, okay?"

He waits until she locks eyes with him and nods. Then he moves behind her, where he wraps his arms around her waist. With one hand, he finds her bellybutton before locking his hands together just above it. He hesitates only a second before squeezing his hands in the J motion, as he was taught. Alex is so light, his movement lifts her from the floor. Justin holds her back more firmly against his chest as he tries again. On the fourth attempt, Alex finally starts coughing out the pancake, and Justin feels like he can breathe again.

"Oh, my poor baby!" Theresa cries, rushing forward with a glass of water and making Alex spit out the food before taking a drink.

Alex's stomach quivers beneath Justin's hands, bringing him back to the situation where he's now keeping her body unnecessarily close to his. Though she's clasping his forearm, also holding him close, and he's having the _wrong_ reaction. He quickly releases her, backing away until he feels like he's a safe distance, leaning against the back of the couch. He's sweating and feels like he might need another shower.

When everyone's made sure Alex is all right, Jerry comes to Justin's side, clamping a strong hand on his shoulder. "I think you just saved your sister's life. I'm so proud of you, son."

With no reasonable feelings supporting him, Justin smiles a little in return. He wants to respond in a way that will make light of everything, but inside, he's shaking more than he wants to admit. Part of him can't help but wonder what would have happened if he hadn't been successful, while another part -- one he wishes he could ignore -- is only thinking about how it felt to have Alex pressed against him. Thanks to hormones, that second part is quickly winning over the first, and Justin has the urge to puke, though he hasn't even eaten yet. The feeling's only worsened because he can't stand his father's happy face when he's thinking about his sister in a way that's sure to get him disowned.

He dashes up the stairs to the bathroom and settles next to the toilet, but after a minute (to his amazement), nothing's happened. He's still queasy, so he rinses his face with cold water before resting on the edge of the bathtub, head nearly between his knees. There's a knock on the open door, and he looks up to see Alex, only for his stomach to start doing somersaults again. Her eyes are watery and red when she sits beside him, too close for Justin's comfort.

She doesn't say anything, and the silence is unnerving. He starts to feel bad because he should be thinking about her well-being, so without looking at her, Justin asks, "Are you okay?"

"My throat kind of hurts, but I'm fine thanks to you." She hesitates before continuing. "Are you really sick? I thought maybe you were faking yesterday so you could avoid me."

"Why would I do that?" He tries to laugh it off as he hangs his head low again.

"I don't know. Does it have something to do with. . . ." She stops, making Justin look over his shoulder at her.

"With what?" he asks, a sinking feeling forming somewhere in his chest.

"With -- um -- never mind." Her cheeks turn red, and this time Justin knows it's not because she's choking. Her dark eyes lift away to stare at the ceiling. "I just came in to say thank you. . .for saving my life, you know?"

Justin nods, his throat suddenly thick with feelings he wouldn't dare voice. "Well, uh, I -- I don't know what I'd do without you, so yeah."

He's looking back at the white tile when Alex bumps their sides together. "Haven't I been saying that all along?"

"Oh, I think it's been the other way around. Do you know how many times I've had to save you?" He sits up straight and knocks his shoulder against hers.

"Pfft." She looks away again, and he thinks she won't answer when he hears a soft, "A lot. But never like this."

". . .Yeah." Thankfully, his nerves have calmed a bit.

"Makes a bathrobe seem kind of pathetic."

Justin laughs at Alex's unexpected comment. He's surprised when she leans her head against his shoulder, wrapping both her arms around his.

"I'm glad you're my brother," Alex says, and it goes straight to Justin's heart. He can't decide if it's a good or bad thing because he feels happy, but he also feels regret for something that scares him. When she rubs his arm with her hand, fingers moving in small, gentle circles, there's a tightening in Justin's chest, and he almost can't take it.

"What are you doing?" He barely manages to speak, and he's not sure she heard him, but then Alex freezes and slowly moves away.

Putting her hands in her lap, she says, "Nothing."

Justin stands quickly, trying to gain control of his heartbeat. "I-I guess we should get ready to leave."

"You still look sick." It's her way of showing concern, Justin knows. What he doesn't know is how to feel about it. He should be okay with her caring about him, but instead, he wants her to care in a _different_ way.

"I'll be all right," he eventually says. "What about you?"

"Fine, I guess." Alex stands as well and leaves before him.

He watches her until she turns the corner, out of sight. When Justin catches his reflection in the mirror, he hates how his outside appearance remains the same, because he now knows his heart really is changing, and he feels like a monster because it may not be entirely against his will.


	7. Chapter VII

**A/N: **Thanks for all the reviews so far, gang! I'm glad for the new readers, but I wish you'd start reviewing from the first chapter. XD But any review is better than none, so I really appreciate every single one I receive. :D By the way, there's a note on my profile, as usual. Please enjoy this chapter.

**Disclaimer:** Nope, can't say I own WOWP.

* * *

Justin's proud of himself. He manages to pay attention to all of his morning classes, so he feels better by the time lunch rolls around. At his locker, he's practically jumped by Harper, who tries her best to catch him off guard in a hug, but he's gotten good at evading her advances.

"Whoa, Harper! What're you doing?" he asks, keeping her arms from encircling him by continually sidestepping and holding out his textbook as if it were an adequate shield.

"I'm just trying to thank you for saving my best friend's life! Justin, come here!" Harper tries her best to wrangle him in, but he manages to get a trashcan between them.

"Harper, why don't you go hug Alex?" He can see his sister across the hall, laughing at them, before she notices him looking and quickly disappears out of sight.

"I did, but she said I was suffocating her, and then she told me you're the one who saved her life. You're even more amazing than I thought!" Harper's voice rises in pitch, making the hair on the back of Justin's neck stand up.

"It's not that big of a deal, and I'm sure Alex is waiting for you in the cafeteria," he says, wishing one of the other students would rescue him. "You should go keep her company."

Harper seems reluctant to leave, but she finally complies, figuring he's right. Justin breathes a sigh of relief, watching her walk away as Zeke comes over with his lunch bag.

"Heard you saved your sister's life, man," he says. "That's so cool! I've only gotten to use the Heimlich on a dummy during training."

"How did you find out?" Justin asks.

"Oh, everyone's talking about it. You're like our school's personal hero. I bet it's exciting, right?"

He stares at his best friend. "No, Zeke, _no_. It wasn't exciting, it was terrifying! I don't ever want to do something like that again!"

"Okay, man, sorry," Zeke says, raising his hands in defense.

Justin wipes his hand across his face. "No, I'm sorry. I've been on edge since yesterday."

"No kidding. I bet this morning just made everything worse. So what's happening with the mystery girl you don't want to be attracted to?"

He bites back a groan and leans against the wall of lockers. He doesn't even know what to say. "Nothing's happening. I'm not planning on doing anything about it, but I do have an appointment with a therapist on Friday."

"You sound skeptical about finding help that way. You know, if you don't want therapy to work, it won't do you any good. You really want the attraction you're complaining about to end, right?"

The question jolts Justin's heart into overdrive. Yes, of course, he doesn't want to be attracted to Alex. But part of him -- obviously, the irrational part -- maybe enjoys the feeling. He loves Alex, and he knows practically everything about her, and when he can be normal around her, it feels nice. They've always had good chemistry together, even when fighting, so deep inside, he knows they'd go well with each other. And thinking like that is exactly what's going to get him into trouble.

"Earth to Justin. We have an urgent transmission for you." Zeke's waving his hand in front of Justin's face. "Dude, are you all right?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just going to keep my mind wide open in therapy, like you said. Thanks for the advice, now let's go eat."

While in the cafeteria, Justin manages not to look at Alex for most of the time, but apparently he can't avoid his problem so simply.

"Your sister's coming over here," Zeke says, and Justin almost panics. He doesn't move when Alex sits beside him, and Harper takes the seat next to Zeke.

"Hey, guys," Alex says, like this is an everyday occurrence. "What's up?"

"What's up with you?" Justin asks, never taking his eyes from his sandwich. He wants to scoot away from her, but that would bring him unnecessary attention.

"I can't sit with my brother at lunch?" she asks.

"You never have before."

"Are you saying you don't want me here?"

Justin finally looks at Alex, to find she's staring at his pudding cup. "I didn't say that. And you can't have my pudding."

Her dark eyes slide up to his. "I didn't say I want it."

"Yeah, well, I know you, so don't even think about it. Besides, I'm sure you don't want to hear Zeke and me discuss the Science Expo next month."

Alex says, "Ch. No, not really," at the same time that Harper says, "I think it'd be interesting."

Zeke and Justin exchange glances before they laugh. As two best friends go, those girls couldn't be more different.

"Alex, you should be a little nicer to your brother after he saved your life," Harper says, admonishing her with only a slight frown.

Justin wishes everyone would stop talking about it, because really, it's nobody's business. It's nobody's business how he tried not to revel in the feeling of Alex's trim stomach beneath his hands, with her body pressed against him in a way that would have been inappropriate under any other circumstance.

"You're right," Alex says. "Justin, you can talk about all your dorky stuff today."

"Like I need your permission," he says, finding it easier to be normal around Alex with other people present.

"Hey, how about we have a movie night?" Zeke suggests. "I'm thinking a _Star Wars_ marathon."

"Oh, I love _Star Wars_!" Justin responds without thinking. "But it's a school night, I have stuff to do after school, and I have to work tonight."

"Then how about Saturday?"

"Sounds good."

"Can I come?" Alex asks, making both Justin, Zeke, and Harper stare at her. Justin's tempted to ask _What is wrong with you?_ along with _What have you done with the real Alex?_ before he realizes she's actually trying to be nice.

_Alex_ is trying to be nice. Probably because she feels like she owes Justin, so he should just enjoy it while he can, right? But it kind of freaks him out, for her to even pretend to like the same stuff as him.

"You. . .don't know the first thing about _Star Wars_," Justin finally says.

"So? I can watch it and learn. Unless you don't want me to be there?"

His brain is in overdrive because it all sounds too much like a date for his sanity. And as much as he might like the idea, he really wants to avoid spending so much time with her. "I thought we already went through this, Alex. You can't just hang out with us because you have nothing better to do. My friends aren't your friends."

"It's not about your friends." Alex's gaze falls to her empty lunch bag. Justin's heart stops as his mind speeds up, trying to analyze exactly what she meant. He doesn't want to find any hidden meaning in her words, but part of him wants to think something _entirely_ unacceptable.

"Alex, I -- " Justin is interrupted by the bell signaling the end of lunch.

She quickly jumps up, snatching Justin's pudding cup from the table as she leaves. Harper follows, and Zeke is left staring at Justin, which makes him uncomfortable. Justin doesn't even know what he was about to say before, but the heavy feeling in his chest makes him think he would have regretted it.

"Dude," Zeke says, gathering his food and empty wrappers. "What's up with you two?"

"Nothing," Justin says, maybe a little too quickly, but Zeke doesn't seem to notice. He sighs and says, "I'll go fix it."

He doesn't wait for a response before going out into the hall to find his sister. He knows she wouldn't go straight to class, so he finds her at her locker, staring into it as if she can't remember what her next class is or what books she needs. Justin hesitates long enough for her to catch him in the small mirror hanging on the door. She turns around to face him, directly holding his gaze, which makes him nervous. He swallows the frog in his throat that's begging him to run away.

"Alex, I'm confused," he finally says.

"You and me both."

He skips over the feeling of déjà vu, like they've had an eerily similar conversation, in favor of continuing before he loses his courage. "You don't owe me anything, Alex."

"But I _do_, Justin. You saved my life, and I want to make it up to you."

"You don't have to! You're my sister! Did you expect me to just let you choke to death? It doesn't mean you have to repay me."

"I just want to, okay?"

"And you want to do that by watching _Star Wars_? You think it's going to make me happy for you to be miserable, sitting through something you hate?" Justin's not even paying attention to what he's saying -- instead, only acting on his feelings, which is probably why he's stepping closer to Alex, unconcerned with personal space.

"Maybe I just want to spend time with you." She crosses her arms, defiantly staring up at him, and Justin wishes his hormones would quit trying to find double meanings in her words. But then she's rolling her eyes, opening Justin's stolen pudding cup, and saying, "Even if I have to watch something dorky to do it."

Why now? Why does Alex have to choose _now_ to be nice, wanting to spend time with him, and at least trying to be accepting of his hobbies? She has the worst possible timing because the part of him that he's been trying to ignore would love to do all that with Alex, but his rational mind knows it wouldn't be a good idea.

"So can I go with you on Saturday?" Alex asks.

It still sounds like a date to him, even though she's inviting herself along and Zeke will be there, and because he shouldn't be thinking like that, he wants to refuse her. But he doesn't, because it's Alex, and he can never refuse her anything for long.

"Fine," he says. "But Zeke can come over to our place."

_Our place_ sounds so wrong, yet so right to Justin's ears that he doesn't know what to make of it. Alex nods and smiles, making him feel both better and worse at the same time because he knows he's happy for all the wrong reasons.

Alex eats a large spoonful of chocolate pudding, and there's a bit in the corner of her mouth that Justin wants to clean with his tongue. He forces himself to look away, and he realizes the hall is empty, and that the bell for class must have rang a while ago. He doesn't wonder why he didn't hear it, because he knows he was too caught up in Alex. He's late for Chemistry, and he almost doesn't care, so he grabs his pudding from her hand and escapes the scene as quickly as possible.


	8. Chapter VIII

**A/N:** You know, it takes a lot of time away from my writing to revise my work afterward (of course). I'm used to it in writing my novels, but since fan fiction is just supposed to be fun, I don't want it taking up so much of my time. So, I'm asking if any of my readers would like to become my beta reader? If any of you have a profile here and would be interested, let me know. I would really appreciate having a beta, to allow myself more time to write. Thanks to everyone who's read and reviewed so far. You guys are awesome. :D

**Disclaimer:** Do I own WOWP? Nope, can't say I do.

* * *

Justin is in the lair, waiting for the wizard lesson to begin, when he first thinks that magic might be the solution to his problem. He knows better, but he's desperate. So he searches through a large tome of spells, hoping for anything that may even temporarily relieve his awkward and inappropriate attraction.

He finds a few spells that could be options, like ones affecting love and memory. He really doesn't want to touch the first because he already loves Alex, and he really doesn't want to get into more trouble. He also doesn't want to use a spell that makes him _not_ love Alex because they're family. So he could use a memory spell, maybe to make him forget his mother ever had that problematic conversation with him. Why not make Theresa forget about it while he's at it? Wouldn't that solve everything? He doesn't get to think about it anymore as Alex and Max enter the room.

"Are you researching on your own again?" Alex asks, sitting in her usual seat beside him.

Justin slowly closes the book, trying to avoid alerting her suspicion. "That's why I always get better grades than you."

"Yeah, because you're an overachiever, Justin. People aren't supposed to be perfect, you know."

His heart thumps painfully in his chest, and he wonders if she can hear it, sitting so close to him.

"I'm not perfect, Alex," he says. The truth of his words hurts him, not out of pride, but because of _why_ he doesn't feel anywhere close to perfect in that moment when Alex's arm is touching his.

"Well, yeah, you're a total dork, so that rules it out." Alex laughs, and Justin doesn't say anything because in her mind, it's true. Not that he's denying being a dork; he's just glad she won't ever know his inner reasoning. Maybe he really should do a memory spell. . . . If he could forget his mother ever said anything, would that cure Justin of his attraction to Alex?

Jerry enters the lair and starts the lesson. Justin tries his best to concentrate on how to take the figures of people out of pictures, on how to reverse the spell, and on all of the dangers and consequences surrounding it. He doesn't know how Alex can sit beside him and doodle, yet still learn the spell enough to use it later for getting into trouble -- like he knows she will. Sometimes he wishes to have her mind just for the sake of going through life so easily. But then he'd need someone to constantly bail him out, and who would he have then? Alex? Not unless she had his brain.

The thought drives Justin into risky territory, making him wonder if under the same circumstances, would Alex ever be attracted to him? He finds himself staring at her profile -- her lowered eyes, long lashes brushing her cheek, her small nose (so much like Max's and their dad's), and her full lips pursed in concentration as her doodling becomes more elaborate. It's no wonder that his heart starts beating faster, but he's almost gotten used to it.

He thinks to himself what Alex could ever see in him. He has thick, expressive eyebrows like his maternal grandfather. He has a rather large, straight nose, much like their mom's. He has their dad's thin lips. All of it set in a long, thin face unlike his sibling's cherubic roundness. Max is adorable, quickly turning cuter with every growth spurt, while Alex is always gorgeous, and getting more beautiful every day. And Justin is perhaps fairly handsome on a good day.

It would never be so simple for Alex to be attracted to Justin, as it is for him to be attracted to her. Which makes it completely unfair in his mind. It's almost as if he didn't stand a chance from the beginning, and he wonders why or how this whole situation didn't happen sooner. Had he just been ignoring all the warning signs, and for how long?

He can barely wrap his mind around the concept when Alex nudges his leg with hers.

"Stop staring," she says. "Or Dad's going to get suspicious."

And there goes his heart hammering away in his chest again because Justin can't stop hearing what's not really there in Alex's words. It's starting to get annoying, because he knows she's merely referencing the fact that she's no longer paying any attention to the wizard lesson, so he faces front again and counts down the time until his work shift.

After the second night in a row of working the dinner crowd, Justin sluggishly heads up to his room to finish his Calculus homework and start outlining his Greek Mythology paper. He finds the latter a bit boring because none of it is based on facts, reasoning, or science. It's only about people's unverified beliefs of many deities who control everything in the world and can use humankind as the puppets in their play. Sure, Justin believes in aliens and superheroes, but that's completely different because he's a wizard, and he knows that those types of things exist outside the mortal world.

Somewhere in his family, there is the belief in one God, but Justin's never given it much consideration. How can there be an entity who existed before all creation? He finds it difficult to believe in a God because if He exists, why exactly would Justin be attracted to his sister? He knows that biologically, there's always the possibility of attraction between siblings, but that being raised together should negate any such feelings. So if it isn't biology working against him, maybe it's this God who simply enjoys screwing with people's emotions and lives.

Yet it's unreasonable to start blaming someone he doesn't even know exists. It's Justin's own fault that he can't control his hormones. Though he's still got it in his head that if nothing comes of his feelings, he might be able to avoid going to Hell. The irony that he's so convinced that he'll be going someplace he doesn't necessarily believe in if he continues down this twisted path is not lost on him. He's brought out of his irreverent reverie by a knocking at his bedroom door. Alex hardly waits before entering.

"Couldn't you have waited for an invitation to come in?" Justin asks, his mood a little sour.

Alex raises a brow. "Nope. I'm here for help with my Biology homework."

"Wait a minute." Justin stands at his desk. "You mean to tell me you're actually doing homework? _You_?"

"Would everyone quit acting so shocked?" Alex huffs and turns back for the door.

"Okay, fine. I'll help you," he says without hesitation, which worries a corner of his mind.

Alex plops down on his bed with her textbook and notebook and a big smile on her face. Justin inwardly sighs and sits beside her.

"What do you have?" he asks. He's more than likely done it before.

She places the notebook in his lap so he can see the rather intricately detailed depiction of the inner workings of a microscopic cell.

"This is pretty good, Alex," he says, digesting the picture.

"Thanks. It took me a couple tries to get it right." She tucks her hair behind her ear in a distracting way.

"Okay, so what else do you have to do?"

"I don't know. I'm supposed to do something like describe it -- like what's happening in what I've drawn."

Yup, he's definitely seen this assignment before. "And what don't you understand?"

"Um, all of it? I really have no idea," she says with a shrug. "I just copied it from the book."

Justin stares at her before a smile overtakes his lips, and he chuckles to himself.

"What's so funny?" Alex's eyes are sparkling, and he's almost entranced.

"Nothing. We're just very different, you and I."

"Okay, no sappy moments during homework, please." Her laughter shakes the bed, and he realizes they're sitting too close, so he shifts over to the edge, facing her and placing the book between their bodies.

He clears his throat. "Still, you should have spent your time finishing the assignment instead of trying to impossibly perfect your drawing. The teacher doesn't normally care how well you draw as long as you understand the science."

"Ugh." She rolls her eyes. "Science is so boring. At least art is interesting."

"Science is very interesting, thank you very much. Don't you want to know how everything in the world around you works? What the future of the world will hold?"

"No. I just want to admire the beauty of the world, and live in the moment."

"You think science diminishes the beauty I see in the world?" Justin doesn't know how helping with homework turned into a debate, but he's enjoying it.

"It doesn't?" Alex's tone is a mixture of disbelief and curiosity.

"Of course not. It increases my appreciation of everything. Take the human body, for instance. Hundreds of trillions of cells make up our bodies. And each cell in our body is alive and serving a function that makes us capable of living every day. See, there's two types of cells, and the one you've drawn is a eukaryote. The major difference between eukaryotic cells and prokaryotic cells is that the former actually has a nucleus, while the latter doesn't. There's other differences, but you don't need to know those for this assignment."

"Wow. You are a _huge_ dork." Alex snorts, but is dutifully writing what she can.

"Hey, I don't have to help you," Justin says, moving to get up.

"No, please, teach me the beauty of the Euripides cell," Alex mockingly begs as she grabs hold of his arm.

"Um, Euripides was a Greek playwright of tragedies, most notably of _Medea_. You really shouldn't confuse history with science unless you're talking about Robert Hooke who discovered the first cell in 1665." It never ceases to amaze him how much his sister _doesn't_ know.

"Way too much information, Justin."

"Yeah, well, you need more help than I realized." Justin smiles and sits back down. "Let's start with the cell wall."

It takes him what seems like forever to give a proper explanation because he'd find Alex not paying attention and taking incorrect notes. He reads over the page in the notebook, surprised that she actually got quite a bit of the information right.

He fixes a few points before tossing the book back in her lap. "Good, Alex. Now you just have to condense it and write it neatly on a fresh page to attach with the picture."

"You're really good at it, Justin, so how about you do it? I'm too tired." Alex lays down along his bed, stretching her arms overhead which causes her sleep shirt to rise and expose her smooth stomach. While he's fixated, she grabs the hem of her shirt and lifts it above her bellybutton to reveal a large red mark not unlike the indication of bruising.

"Look. I think you squeezed me too tight." She laughs, but it still hits Justin hard.

"I'm sorry," Justin says. Then he watches her fingers run across the mark, and he imagines it's his hand there instead. He blinks, coming back into his right mind, and he scrambles up from the bed and repeats a stuttered, "S-Sorry!"

Alex sits up and pulls her shirt back down. "Why? I didn't mean anything by it. I'd rather be alive and bruised than. . .not. Right?"

Justin nods, but he can't look at Alex, who is calmly sitting on his bed, because his body feels like doing something different. "L-Let's go downstairs and finish this. I'm hungry."

He leaves without waiting for her and locks himself in the bathroom for a moment. He has to cool down if he's going to survive the night. It's only been two days, and he's already had enough of everything. Tomorrow will be easier because he'll go to the library for his paper research, but he has to find a way to deal with seeing Alex the rest of the day.

Though it's looking like the only option, he really doesn't want to resort to magic because so much could go wrong -- after all, he's seen it often enough with his sister. But what could be worse than being attracted to Alex with no hope of reciprocation? His brain slams to a halt.

Is that what Justin really wants? Does he really want Alex to be attracted to him in return? How sick and disgusting. . . . He leans his forehead against the cool glass of the mirror. How much more depraved can he get? Time is only making him worse, so maybe he can't even wait three more days to seek help.

By the time he leaves the bathroom and finds Alex waiting at the kitchen table, he's decided that instead of going to the library tomorrow, he'll try the therapist's office. Maybe if he claims a moral emergency, he'll get the help he needs, even if he's starting to feel like some part of him doesn't necessarily want it. Because it's not only him at stake; it's Alex as well, and Justin will do whatever it takes to protect her, especially if it's from himself.


	9. Chapter IX

**A/N:** I'm writing this story assuming that the Russo's live somewhere in TriBeCa since the kids go to TriBeCa Prep (not that it's a real school). And I've never ridden the subway, so I'm totally guesstimating about the time it would take to get up to Midtown Manhattan. So if anyone actually lives in New York, or can at least tell me otherwise, please help me correct any mistakes. Thanks, everyone! I love you all for reviewing! :D

**Disclaimer:** Why do I have to repeat myself so many times? I don't own WOWP.

* * *

Justin manages to make it all the way through school without incident and only thinks about Alex a few times when he sees her between classes. Alex seems to have gotten back into character and stopped trying to be overly nice to him since she ignores him as usual. After gathering his books for homework, he stops by Alex's locker where she's talking with Harper.

"Hi, Justin!" Harper excitedly chirps.

Alex turns to him, and if he's not mistaken, she seems to frown for a moment before covering it with a small smile, though she doesn't say anything.

Justin wonders if she might be angry at him, but only raises his hand in greeting. "Alex, tell Mom and Dad I'm going to be late to work."

"Why?" she asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I'm going to the library for research." He doesn't lie often, but this time is necessary.

"Fine."

"Oh, Justin, I might stop by the library too on my way home and maybe we can -- "

He doesn't wait for Harper to finish as he quickly heads for the front doors of the school. He runs to the nearby station in order to catch the next train going uptown before anyone sees him. Luckily, there's no one from his school in the same car, so he tries to relax. His ride is a little over half an hour to reach Midtown Manhattan, and of course he still spends it paranoid that someone knows where he's going and more importantly, _why_ he's going there. Once at his destination, he walks so fast up the two blocks to the office that it feels like something in his body will herniate as soon as he stops.

The building is shared by four associate professionals in the business of therapy and counseling. Two flights of stairs lead him to the office of Dr. Ramona Gardner. Inside, it is cool after the long walk in the late afternoon heat, and there are only two patients waiting in the reception area. Justin stands in front of the receptionist's desk built into the wall. He wonders when the young woman will take out her earphones and help him, when the door to the side opens, and out comes a woman probably only ten years older than him.

She's dressed in a brown skirt and suit jacket with small, matching heels. Her light brown hair is tied back in a bun, and a pair of red wireframe glasses are perched low on her nose so her blue eyes peer out from above. She spots Justin immediately and looks to the receptionist. Without looking up from her magazine, the girl holds up a handwritten sign saying ON BREAK. The woman turns back to Justin.

"I need a new assistant. I'm Dr. Ramona Gardner. How may I help you?" she asks with a gentle voice and tired smile. "Making an appointment?"

"Actually," Justin starts, nervous to know the three other occupants in the room can hear him. "I had an appointment for Friday."

"Okay, let me check." She grabs the nearest three-ring binder from the reception desk and leafs through it. "Name?"

"Justin Russo." It occurs to him a little late that maybe he should have used a pseudonym, but his real name doesn't seem to be recognized -- not that it should be, of course.

"Hmm. I really need a new assistant," Dr. Gardner repeats, louder, and feigns ignorance of the receptionist's glare. "A consult visit, right? Do you want to reschedule or cancel?"

"Reschedule, please."

"I'd say you could have done it over the phone, Mr. Russo, except Ellen here probably wouldn't have answered anyway. So when would you like?"

"Um, now, if it's not too much of an inconvenience."

Dr. Gardner looks at him from beneath her lowered brow before laughing softly.

"Please, it's kind of an emergency," he pleads. "I don't think I can wait until Friday."

"Well. . . ." She looks at the two other patients. "Mr. and Mrs. Collins, would you mind terribly to reschedule for another day?" She pauses as the middle-aged couple exchange a look. "I'll cut the session price by half and give you an extra half hour."

The couple nod emphatically in unison, and she turns back to the receptionist. "Ellen, I know you can hear me, so give the Collins' whatever date and time they want for an hour and a half." She takes a pencil from her jacket pocket and erases what Justin assumes to be his name in the time block for Friday, then she gives him her full attention. "All right, Mr. Russo, you can follow me into the back, and I'll get you to sign a bit of paperwork before we get started."

"Paperwork?" he asks, following her into the room on the right, down the short hall and through one of only two doors (the other one is the bathroom). Immediately, the sweet scent of warm honey makes him smile as they enter her office. "Wow, it smells really good in here."

"Thank you. I hope it's not overwhelming. I find sweet smells relax and soothe people's spirits. Please, have a seat while I set up." She gestures to the two plush chairs and the long, low couch the color of white beach sand. "Or lay down, if you prefer."

Justin sits in the first chair and marvels at how he sinks into the softness. He takes a moment to survey the room. The two walls behind him are white, while the two in front are painted a bluish green reminiscent of the ocean. The desk and two tall bookcases on either side of the room are made of a dark wood, and photographs of various nature scenes line all the walls. Overall, it's a very serene atmosphere, and he does find himself slowly relaxing.

"All right, Mr. Russo. I just need some basic information and your signature at the bottom of the form."

He leans forward and takes the papers from Dr. Gardner's outstretched hand. He looks them over and his anxiety comes back full force. "I didn't know I'd have to sign something for just a consultation."

"Insurance purposes. You won't be billed, of course, but we need to keep some record of who comes in, even if they never return. This session will still be confidential, as it falls under patient status. It's for both our protection, really."

Justin swallows. "I can't sign these. This was a bad idea."

He stands to leave, but she holds up a hand. "Please, Mr. Russo. What's wrong?"

"I-I really don't want any records that I've been here. And I'm not old enough to sign the papers anyway." At her questioning brow, he explains, "I lied when I made the appointment and said I'm eighteen."

"So how old are you?"

"Sixteen. I'm sorry for lying."

"That's all right. I figured as much, actually." She looks at him pointedly. "Most adults don't carry a _backpack_, and I merely guessed that you aren't in college. I see a lot of kids and adults, so to me, you simply don't have the air of an adult."

"Oh." Justin sits back down and is now conscious of placing his bag by his feet. "You see kids?"

"Yes. My license is in Marriage and Family Therapy, so I often counsel entire families who usually come in because their teenager has suddenly walked out of _The Exorcist_." Dr. Gardner's laughter is genuine, putting Justin more at ease. "You're lucky, Mr. Russo. I don't turn away people who willingly come for help."

"You don't?"

"Not when many of my clients are court-mandated to attend therapy. And most teenagers don't care about my advice and would rather I go to Hell before they confide their problems in me."

Justin laughs. "I see."

"So? Do you really require my help, Mr. Russo? I recall you said it's an emergency."

He nods. "It is, and I definitely need your help. That's why I'm here."

"Well then, Mr. Russo, I suggest we go take a walk down the street. If you don't mind, of course. Since I can't take you on as a client, I believe it would be best if we think of this as a sort of tentative friendship. I can't necessarily help you as Dr. Gardner, but I would like to try to help you as Ramona or Mona, whichever you prefer to call me."

"I don't think I've ever known a Mona," Justin says with a small smile. "But then you have to stop calling me Mr. Russo. It's kind of creepy."

"Got it. I'm just your friend Mona, who happens to be certified to help people with their problems. And you are Justin, a young man seeking wise advice from your friend. Does that suit you?"

"Much better, actually, yeah."

"Good. I myself dislike formality and believe less structure is more beneficial. Shall we take a walk then?" Mona stands and gathers various files and folders to put in her briefcase. They both shoulder their bags, and Justin follows her out of the office. He notices that she doesn't say anything to her assistant before leaving, but sensibly doesn't comment.

Out of the building, it is a little cooler as it nears sundown, and Justin wishes he had brought his sweater. But walking keeps him warm, and his blood starts rushing quicker as he considers how to reveal his problem.

He takes a deep breath and hurries out, "I'm attracted to someone I shouldn't be."

Mona raises a brow and adjusts the red glasses higher on her nose as she angles her body more toward him while they walk. "What is this 'shouldn't be'? How do you define it?"

Justin swallows thickly. "Um, it would be _illegal_, among other things."

"I can see that you're trying to avoid giving too many details, but I can't help you much without them, Justin."

He's deciding how much information to give, how honest to be about his unwholesome feelings and thoughts, when he figures that there won't be any definitive record of their meeting and that this woman is trying to be his friend in order to help him. And if Justin really wants help, then he should tell the truth.

"I'm attracted to my sister," he finally says.

"Stepsister?"

It gets stuck in his throat, but he does manage to quietly say, "_No_."

"Hm? And the emergency is you're afraid you will act on this attraction?" Her tone is curious, yet knowing, as if she's had plenty of cases like Justin's. "Unless you already have?"

"_No!_ God, no! I would never!" he sputters.

"But you're afraid you will."

". . .Yeah."

Mona's gaze is intense and scrutinizing for only a second before her blue eyes soften. "Tell me how you feel about her, Justin."

"Like what?"

"Is your attraction to her purely sexual?" This is the kind of question that stirs Justin up until his insides feel so knotted that it's painful for him to consider.

"I don't know," he says honestly. "I really love her, I just. . . ."

"So tell me about her. Describe her to me."

They are crossing the street when Justin starts to speak. "She's. . .the complete opposite of me, yet we can be very similar in how seriously we take things. I mean, she acts like she doesn't care, but I can still tell. She always gets in trouble, and I bail her out because that's what she expects me to do, and what I want to do -- usually, anyway, because sometimes I'd really rather just avoid her numerous problems."

Justin pauses for a moment while they wait for the next signal. "She doesn't like people very much, she only has one rather weird friend, yet she seems happy most of the time. She's terrible at school, although not because she isn't smart, but because she's too lazy to even try at anything if it doesn't have something to do with pranking me. She doesn't care what people think of her, although I think she secretly does want other people's approval. She's totally useless and annoying, completely outrageous and unreasonable, and she's absolutely _breathtaking_."

Justin's unconsciously smiling, and it feels nice. Mona is quiet for a moment, and she stops walking when they are in front of a small café.

She smiles up at him. "How about we stop for coffee?"

"I -- uh, I don't drink coffee."

"Then you can have whatever you want -- on me, of course." Mona opens the door, and Justin hesitates before following her in.

Mona orders a double espresso and gulps it down quickly, while Justin settles for sipping his hot chocolate while they sit in silence. There's only a few other people in the café, and they're all engrossed in their own conversations, so he doesn't worry too much about being overheard. Just as he works up the courage to maybe ask a question, Mona begins to speak.

"I believe you truly love and care for your sister, Justin, and I don't believe that you really want to do anything about your feelings because you don't want to hurt her."

He stares into his cup, thinking that it's easier to talk to someone who is accepting, and not immediately disgusted by him. "But I've only been feeling this way for a few days."

"Well, what incited the change?"

". . .My sister had her Quinceanera last weekend, and we, um, we danced together. Afterward, my mom mentioned to me how she thought there might be something between us, and I guess that made me start thinking about A-- my sister in a new way."

"Really?" Mona seems surprised. "How did your mother react when she thought there was something between you two?"

"She wasn't happy." He thinks back on it. "She was mostly disappointed and disapproving of us."

"A fairly normal reaction, but she wasn't outraged?"

He actually has to think about it because he realizes it's something Mona considers abnormal. ". . .No."

"Hmm." She hums to herself while obviously making mental notes.

Justin decides to fill the silence. "I came to you because I want these feelings go away. My best friend said cognitive therapy might work."

Mona removes her glasses when she looks at him again over her coffee cup. "Cognitive therapy is a very long process, Justin. If you are looking for a quicker solution, you could try hypnotherapy, although that's usually used in conjunction with cognitive therapy. But before trying either or both of these approaches, I suggest trying to work through your feelings. Your sister sounds like a wonderful young woman whom you love very much, Justin. I'm only a little concerned that she just turned fifteen."

"Why?"

"As you previously mentioned, she's still not at the age of consent, so if something were to happen between you two, it would be a crime. Not only is incest illegal, but so is statutory rape -- even sex between consenting minors."

Justin's mortification practically seeps from his body as he wipes his sweaty palms on his jeans. "I would _never_. . .You said I wouldn't act on my feelings."

"Yes, but physical attraction is often difficult to deny, especially when there are real feelings of love involved."

He nods in agreement because he knows all too well what his hormones have been doing to his heart. "I guess I just recently started thinking. . .that it would be nice if my sister. . .could maybe feel the same way. That's what scared me the most, because I know she'd never return my feelings, and I shouldn't want her to. I should be happy with a sibling relationship, like I was last week."

"But you're not."

"No."

"Did you think about waiting to see if they would fade -- these feelings?"

"It gets worse every day. I can barely look at her without this painful _thumping_ in my chest, even if I'm acting normally with her."

"I can only tell you," Mona pauses, "that it's natural to want to be loved. People crave it and many spend their entire lives searching for it."

"I'm just trying to find it in the wrong person," Justin says. It doesn't make him feel any better. He leans forward over his steaming cup. "I don't know how long I can last before I want to do something so much that I can't stop myself."

"I understand," Mona says, replacing her glasses. "I will tell you one thing to try. Accept your feelings. Accept that you're attracted to her sister. Stop fighting your feelings, and maybe it'll get easier for you to be around her. You don't want anything to change right?" She waits as Justin nods. "Then don't make things change. Your feelings for her have obviously strayed from the path of normality, but there may not be anything you can do about it now. Just try to relax, and don't make your life all about the feelings you don't want. Live your life every day, and _accept_ that you have feelings for your sister."

Somehow Justin thinks that might get him into trouble. Yet that is what this woman, a doctor who wants to help him is suggesting. She's been a good listener so far, and she must know what she's doing, so he wants to trust her.

"I'll try," he says.

"Good." Mona smiles and stands, leading him to do the same. "How about you come down on Friday? We can have an early dinner, and you can take your time to confide in me as much as you like. Would you like that?"

"I think I would." He follows her out of the café, feeling a little easier.

"I hope I helped you a little today, Justin. And I hope I can help you in the future as well. You're a great kid, and you deserve to be happy," Mona says before turning away and walking up the street the way they came.

He's not entirely certain about her last comment, but Justin feels lighter as he heads for the train station. The train is crowded with people getting off of work, but he doesn't care. He's trying not to over think too much, but he knows it won't be easy. He does think that he might be okay tomorrow if he can put Mona's advice into action.

Alex is his sister, she'll always be his sister, and Justin has to face the idea that now he might always be attracted to her. He already feels like acceptance of that possibility has done him some measure of good, and Justin actually has somewhat positive feelings about the future -- as long as he ignores the small knot of dread steadily growing in the pit of his stomach.


	10. Chapter X

**A/N:** I know many of you are wondering when this story will get to the Jalexy goodness. That would be the reason the first thing the summary to this story says is "Jalex eventually." I honestly have no idea how long this story will be, though I do know that we'll be definitively straying from canon in a few chapters. I'm going for realism here, people, so this will not be a short, easy process for Justin and Alex. You may notice that I'm not skipping over large amounts of time yet. Though that may happen in the future to keep the story going.

Also, to those of you disgusted by the incest: why are you reading this story? I understand that you may enjoy the narrative style, but you should understand that after all of this I will not be copping out by suddenly saying that Justin and Alex are not blood relatives. I think the adoption plot is just ignoring what most of us love about this pairing. Justin and Alex have chemistry _despite_ being siblings, and that's the whole point of my story. I want to explore what happens to two siblings in that situation. So please bear with me if you think you can handle all the incest. XD I hope you guys continue to enjoy my hard work. Thanks for all your support. :D

**Disclaimer:** Again? I don't own WOWP.

* * *

Thursday morning at breakfast, Justin is in a fairly good mood. He knows Alex was still in his dreams, and he took an extra long shower to rid his mind of the images, but he's decided to not let it affect the rest of his morning. He tries to not let it ruffle him that Alex's breast presses against his arm when she leans over to steal the bacon from his plate. His body temperature rises, but he doesn't run away like he might have a couple days before. No more avoiding his attraction; only accepting it, like Mona advised. It's definitely harder than he expected, but at least manageable for now.

"Are you feeling better?" Theresa asks him. She places her hand on his forehead as she's passing by to fill up Max's glass with milk. "You still feel a little warm to me."

"I'm fine," Justin says, to his credit, without hesitating before he tucks into his scrambled eggs.

"How about you, Max, and I have a boys' night out this Saturday? Do something fun like see a Mets game?" Jerry asks.

"Sorry, Dad, but Zeke and I are doing a movie day." Justin knows his dad is trying to be nice and somehow reward him for having saved Alex, but he really doesn't feel like it's necessary. Not to mention that he feels like he doesn't deserve it. "Why don't you and Max go? We can do something another day."

Jerry looks dejected, only because he knows what Max is like at sporting events, and he really doesn't want to be banned from seeing his favorite baseball team for the rest of his life.

"What are you doing this weekend, Alex?" Theresa asks, jumping on the family-bonding bandwagon. "Want to go shopping?"

"Actually, I'm going to watch the movies with Justin." Alex is drinking her orange juice like Theresa and Jerry aren't momentarily questioning her sanity.

"Really?" Jerry's attention switches to Justin.

He shrugs. "She thinks that's her way of making it up to me, when she's really only going to annoy me."

"Well, you can't get rid of me now 'cause you already agreed to it." The corner of Alex's lips curl in a smirk, and Justin finds it very tempting. He takes a sip of milk and prays that he'll be okay today.

On the train to school, he actually sits beside Alex and tries not to mind the way they bump and brush against each other.

"Tired of standing?" Alex asks, nearly leaning on him.

"You can say that." He smiles unsteadily as they bounce along.

"Good." She doesn't look at him, but he can see her smile in the reflection of the opposite window, and he's not sure how he's supposed to feel about it.

At lunch, Alex sits with Harper like usual, and Justin's glad because he can talk to Zeke without interference.

"I saw the therapist yesterday," he says bluntly.

"How was it? Did it cure you?" Zeke is obviously being facetious with his smile, though he honestly cares about Justin's problem.

"She didn't cure me, but she gave me some advice that's been helping so far."

"Really? So how do you feel about the mystery girl now?"

"I still like her, but it's not such a big deal, I guess. Mona -- I mean Dr. Gardner -- told me to not let my attraction affect our everyday life."

Zeke bites into a dark red apple. "Interesting. So if the therapist didn't lock you away, maybe your attraction isn't such a bad thing?"

"I wouldn't say that." Justin unwraps his tuna sandwich and takes a bite before speaking again. "I still think it's not right for me to be attracted to this girl, but Dr. Gardner told me to accept it and not make a big deal out of it. So that's what I'm trying right now."

"It makes a difference. You seem more relaxed and normal today. So you won't need cognitive therapy then?"

"I guess not unless it becomes a definitive problem." Justin looks over to the table where Harper is dramatically gesturing while holding up a strange purse that appears to be made from a wicker basket, decorated with fake green grass and white dandelions, and there is even a cutout of a pink rabbit on the side, as if it is some gaudy Easter basket, and not something to carry around every day. Alex appears annoyed as her friend tries to make her hold it, and the expression on her face makes Justin smile out of amusement.

"Dude, are you sure you don't like Harper?" Zeke asks, slurping loudly from his carton of chocolate milk. It's in that moment that Justin realizes he really can't tell anyone else about his feelings because normal people don't even consider them to be an option. The idea of Justin being interested in Alex doesn't even cross Zeke's mind, so Justin knows that as intelligent as his best friend is, he would never be able to understand Justin's corrupt feelings.

"No, I don't like Harper," he mumbles. "Why?"

"You just look over at her table a lot. Hey, is your sister still watching the movies with us on Saturday?"

"She said as much this morning."

"Then do you want to work on our project for the Science Expo tonight?"

"Can't, Zeke. I've got to hit the library for a paper."

"What about tomorrow then?"

"I'm meeting with Dr. Gardner after school."

"So you're going to keep going to therapy?"

"Yeah, but not as an official appointment or anything. Dr. Gardner said she'd help me as a friend in need."

"That's. . .pretty cool of her." Zeke obviously hesitates, but Justin decides to overlook it in favor of continuing with his optimistic attitude for the day.

"I know, right? I feel like she's not judging me, and really listens to my feelings."

"Therapists are good at that."

The bell rings to signal the end of lunch, and Justin's surprised that he actually spent most of the time _not_ thinking about Alex. It's a huge relief, and he goes to class with an extra bounce in his step. After school, he's actually humming to himself as he takes the books from his locker and zips them into his backpack, though he's startled when Alex comes up to his side without a sound.

"Hey, Justin, can you take my afternoon shift? Harper and I want to go shopping." She cocks her head to the side and examines her nails like it's not a big deal, and he tries to act like his heart is still racing merely from shock -- yeah, he'll stick with that.

"I'm going to the library now, Alex, I can't." He shoulders his backpack and starts walking toward the exit.

And she's right at his side with, "I thought you went yesterday?"

"So? I have a lot of research to do. Why don't you just wait until Sunday and go with Mom like she wanted? I think she'd like that."

"Because Mom always ends up trying to buy me a dress or something way too frilly." Alex suppresses a shiver and grabs his arm, pulling him to a stop. "Plus, you're lying."

Justin reacts with wide eyes before he can even think about keeping a straight face because he never expected to get caught. "W-What?"

Alex's eyes narrow dangerously, making his heart leap. "Harper says you weren't at the library yesterday."

Justin lets loose his breath in a gust as he laughs in relief. "Maybe she missed me, Alex. I was in the reference section in the very back of the second floor."

She considers him for a moment before releasing her hold, and Justin wishes his arm didn't tingle, like his very cells are remembering the shape of her small hand.

"Fine," she says. "Harper will just have to be satisfied with hanging out while I work."

"You say that like you actually work when she's around," he says, rubbing his forearm as if the friction will keep away the attraction squirming into the forefront of his mind again.

Alex snorts. "I know, right? But really, Justin, would you work for me? Please?"

She's pouting, and her lower lip is trembling, which is all doing quite a number on Justin's hormones because he suddenly wants to take her lip between his teeth and. . . . He averts his eyes and swallows, then he takes a deep breath and sighs before nodding.

"All right, Alex, but if I do this, you really do owe me. And I won't accept your attendance to a _Star Wars_ marathon. It has to be something I want, got it?"

"Got it! You're the best! 'Kay, thanks, bye!" Alex is out of the door before he knows it, leaving Justin to wonder if he did the right thing. _Dammit!_ Why can't he ever say no and stick to it?

Justin sighs again and starts walking to the train station. At least he might get something out of the deal. Never mind that Alex rarely delivers on her words of promise. And certainly never mind that Justin's brain rather enjoys coming up with naughty ways Alex can pay him back.

He spots Max walking up ahead with a few of his friends, and they ride home together. By the time they get to Waverly Place, he's made a list of acceptable tasks for Alex to do. She could clean his room. . .but then, he really doesn't want to risk his various collectibles being damaged (which he had no doubt that they would be). She could do the dishes for him a couple times. . .but she really doesn't even do them on her own days. Doing the laundry would be an option if he thought Alex had the faintest idea how to actually do laundry without breaking the washing machine or dryer. Hell, she'd even probably try to purposefully shrink some of his clothes.

So, really, by the time he's finished his snack and headed down to work Alex's shift at the Sub Station, he has no idea what he wants from Alex, aside from the obviously hormone-driven thoughts that he keeps shoving to the back of his mind. To keep himself from straying down a path that will get him in trouble, Justin focuses on work for the next couple hours until he takes a break to eat dinner before the crowd comes in. Max has already gone upstairs to do his homework (due to an earlier curfew) when Alex comes in carrying a paper shopping bag from a store, the name of which he doesn't recognize.

She flashes him a big smile that doesn't help his wandering thoughts before she heads right up the staircase without a word. Justin vaguely wonders if she's trying to avoid their mother because she spent too much money, as is her habit. He finishes his work shift, locks up, and goes upstairs to try to finish his Mythology paper that's due tomorrow. He now has to make due with finding books and scholarly articles online, where he can read the digital copies for the information that supports his thesis.

He's nearly finished with his essay when he decides to go downstairs for something to drink. With a steaming cup of decaffeinated green tea in hand, he passes by Alex's room and pauses to make sure he's actually hearing music quietly playing from inside the half open door. It's some whining boy band he doesn't know, and Alex is bouncing around like it's not eleven at night, which somehow, he's not really surprised about as he hesitates before pushing open the door and standing just inside her doorway.

"What are you doing?" he asks, laughing when she spins around to face him and nearly falls over.

"Justin! You scared me!" Her hand is over her heart, and Justin wants to feel it beating beneath his own palm.

"S-Sorry." The urge to make that thought a reality is what makes him take a step back as he apologizes -- for what, he's not sure, since he knows she can't hear his thoughts. "You're up later than usual."

"You too. Isn't it like two hours past your _self-imposed_ bedtime?"

Justin shrugs, looking away. "I just have to revise my paper for tomorrow."

"Bor-ing. I'm trying on the cute shirt I got for my date with Riley tomorrow night." His heart constricts at the thought of her going out with some guy, even though he knows Riley's been her boyfriend for a while now.

"Do you think he'll like it?" Alex asks, posing in front of the full-length mirror and inspecting herself from every angle. She's wearing a long-sleeved purple shirt beneath a short-sleeved black T-shirt spattered with bright neon paint in some vaguely recognizable pattern over her pajama bottoms. "What if I wear my purple skinny jeans? Too much purple?"

"Purple looks good on you," he says, a little quietly. "So does green."

"Oh, you're right! I'll wear my green skinny jeans and that cute belt I got last week. Great idea, Justin!"

When she goes to her closet, Justin takes a big gulp of his tea and wonders why he's so calm when part of him is irritated. He never really liked Riley, even when they played on the same baseball team together. Riley's not a bad guy, but Justin's convinced he's not good enough for Alex -- as if any guy would be? Though this is mostly because he knows Alex will never be able to be her true, obnoxious self around anyone but him, her brother. But thinking that is the part of himself that Justin wants to ignore. Only, he's not supposed to avoid the thoughts that _he_ wants to be the one taking Alex out to dinner. He's supposed to _accept_ that he wants to be the one Alex is dressing up to see, the one she's excited to spend time with.

"Are you finally over whatever was making you sick?" Alex asks. She's holding her green jeans up to her waist and not actually looking at him.

"Over it?" Justin considers the concept in light of his unusual thoughts. "Not quite."

"Hmm. Okay. Do you mind taking my shift tomorrow?"

"You know I don't work tomorrow, Alex, so yes, I mind."

"Yeah, but it's Friday night, and I have my date with Riley."

"I worked for you today, Alex. Remember how you owe me for that?"

"So I'll owe you twice. No big deal." She finally abandons her image in the mirror, flings the pants onto her bed, and places her hands on her hips as she stares at him.

He's already angry that she's going out with some other guy, which is too weird for him to contemplate at the moment, and he _hates_ how Alex so easily takes advantage of him -- and most of all, how he _lets_ her do so.

He's not having it this time, so he takes her challenge, and his grey eyes meet her steady brown gaze. "What if I have something to do tomorrow?"

"What, like a date?" She scoffs, ticking up his anger a notch.

He wants to imagine that she's as upset over the idea of him on a date as he is over her on a date, but that's only wishful thinking that doesn't fit in what he knows is her opinion of him.

"Maybe I do, but it doesn't matter," he says. "I'm busy, so that's all. I can't take your shift. If that's what you wanted, you should have checked with me before making your date with Riley."

"But--"

"I'm not always at your beck and call, Alex. Change your date to Saturday, so then you can avoid hanging out with Zeke and me. It'll be a win-win for you then, right?" He's no longer calm, and he doesn't quite know why he's getting _so_ worked up about all this, but he doesn't want to back down now.

"Justin, what's wrong with you? I swear, you're like PMSing and giving me whiplash with your moods." Alex is frowning at him, and damn him for thinking she's still far too attractive.

"Because I say no to you, there's something wrong with me? I'm your brother, Alex. Maybe you should treat me with a little more respect. If your plans are going to include me somehow covering for you, maybe you could ask what my plans are beforehand."

"Fine, Justin. And if you really didn't want me to come on Saturday, you could have just said so. I didn't think I would bother you that much, but I guess I was wrong." Her eyes are shimmering, and he doesn't want to think it's from tears because that would just break his resolve. "I was only trying to do something nice for you. I guess I'll make my date for Saturday then. I hope you have fun on your date, or whatever you're doing."

Alex crosses her arms and the conversation is obviously finished, though he feels like there's still something he wants to say. Justin doesn't know how this turned into such a heated argument, and now he's not sure what to do. His first impulse is to apologize and backtrack to letting her walk all over him, even though he knows that would be the wrong thing to do. But he doesn't like the feeling of her being upset at him. He likes even less being infuriated with her for a reason he can't explain out loud.

"Are you just going to stand there?" Alex asks. "I'm going to sleep now."

He doesn't want to leave like this, with both of them mad for no _good_ reason. "Alex--"

"Please, Justin, I'm tired." Her hand is on his arm then, she's pushing him out of the room, and all he can do is let her.

Alex's door closes, and Justin's left with a lukewarm cup of green tea he no longer wants to drink. He goes back into his room, finishes his Mythology essay, and tries to sleep. It takes him a long while because his mind won't stop repeating the scenario in his head and showing him what he should have done differently.

He's telling himself that he should have said yes and given in to Alex's demands, even though he knows he did the right thing. Because he has to see Mona tomorrow about his problem with Alex, and it just wouldn't do for him to reschedule with a therapist who's helping him from the goodness of her heart -- especially when he'd be rescheduling in order to appease the source of his problem. He's mostly convinced that Mona also wouldn't want him to do that, since he's only supposed to be accepting his feelings, not acting as a slave to them.

Eventually Justin falls into a fitful sleep of dreams about angering Alex or letting her down, and even his unconscious self feels horrible about it. Somewhere in the back of his restless mind, Justin wishes he were back in time to a few days ago when Alex didn't infiltrate every waking and dreaming moment of his life, but he knows it's too late. Alex always has been and always will be an enormous part of his life, and Justin needs to not let his unhealthy emotions affect their relationship like he did that night.


	11. Chapter XI

**A/N:** I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I'm hoping the next one will be up in another week or so. After that, I'm not sure when the next update will be since I haven't written any further. Keep an eye on my profile, though, because I do update it with my progress. Anyway, I love how some of you are suspicious of Mona. Don't worry because she's a facilitative plot device to help Justin and Alex get together (even if it doesn't seem like it at this point).

I'd like to extend my thanks to my beta Lara, who really helped me with this chapter. Without her, the update probably would have been delayed.

And thanks for all your reviews so far, guys! I can't believe I've gotten over 100 reviews! That's major news for me, so I love you all! I'm glad most of you like the pace of the story and are such fans, since I love this story just as much as you. Just wait. The next chapter will reward your patience and definitely be worth the journey so far. :D

**Disclaimer:** Wish I own WOWP. Don't though.

* * *

Justin is in the waiting room of Mona's office, reading a magazine about mental health when he sees her behind the receptionist's desk.

"Oh, you're here already?" she asks, surprised -- mostly because she had not been told. She hands a manila folder to her assistant, Ellen, and gives her a stern look before smiling at Justin. "I'll just go change my clothes and we can go eat. Think about what you want. There's all kinds of restaurants around here."

She disappears from view and comes out from the inner hall a few moments later, dressed in a pair of black jeans and a blue sweater that matches her eyes. Her light brown hair is up in a ponytail that hangs below her shoulders, and her red framed glasses brightly stand out. Justin stands and follows Mona out of the building.

"So, what do you want?" she asks. "Italian, Chinese, Indian? There's even a sandwich shop a couple streets away."

"Let's avoid sandwiches for now," Justin says, thinking that his father actually knows quite a few of the sandwich businesses in New York -- you know, competition and all. "I haven't had Chinese food in a while."

"Great. I can really go for some dumplings."

The atmosphere as they walk down the streets of New York is comfortable, though Justin knows it will not last long.

"So, how were your two days of trying to accept your feelings?" Mona asks.

He doesn't necessarily want to jump into it, but what else is he there for then? "All right at first. But last night we got into a fight."

"Really? About what?"

"I. . .was angry that she asked me to cover her work shift again without considering that I had something to do today."

"Uh huh. So your sister's lack of consideration bothered you."

"It always bothers me. She doesn't think about other people's feelings before making decisions. And she still doesn't respect me enough to realize that. . ."

"What?"

He hesitates because he isn't sure he's ready to face the truth, but he says it anyway. "That I'm jealous, and I don't want her to go on a date while I'm trying to find a cure for the way I feel about her." Justin sucks in a deep breath and turns his face away, ashamed.

Mona does not say anything as they cross the street. Justin looks at his feet as they pass by other pedestrians.

"I think it's good that you can admit those kinds of feelings, Justin. It must be difficult," she says once they've safely reached the other sidewalk. "It's natural for brothers to either not care about their sisters or be overprotective of them. It seems like you want to pretend you don't care about her sometimes, but you will usually think of her best interest when things come down to it. So I understand how your feelings have progressed to such a different level."

"You do?" Justin looks at her from the corner of his eye to find she's gently smiling, staring ahead.

"Yes. You love your sister, and your attraction to her has led you to problematic territory. I believe your fight resulted from the confusion of your feelings."

He doesn't respond because he knows it's true. They soon arrive at The Emperor's Chopsticks and once inside, the two are almost immediately seated. A waiter who is probably only a few years older than Justin takes their drink orders then gives them time to decide on their food.

Still looking over the menu, Mona asks, "Did you tell your sister how you feel?"

Justin looks at her, surprised. "Of course not!"

She presses her lips together in an effort to not smile. "I meant about how she doesn't respect you."

"Oh." He cannot help but blush. "Um, no. But she already knows all this stuff -- that I hate how she takes advantage of me and how she doesn't appreciate me until the rare times when I'm not there to help her."

"Yet she still didn't take your feelings into consideration."

"Right."

"So which hurt you more, your sister's lack of consideration or that she's going on a date with another guy?" Mona is so straightforward about this whole situation that he hardly knows how to respond. He wonders if other therapists are this upfront when she says, "I'm sorry, Justin, but if I don't ask the tough questions, how am I going to help you? I may not be your official therapist, but I want to help you as best that I can. I empathize with you, but I won't coddle you if that's what you're expecting."

Justin clears his throat, a bit embarrassed. "Um, no. No, that's okay."

"And?" She sips from her diet cola as if she doesn't care about his answer either way.

"Both hurt, I guess. I wasn't happy with her attitude, but I probably wouldn't have exploded like that at her if I hadn't been jealous."

"Interesting."

Justin laughs a little. "I didn't expect something so cliché from you."

"I'm not allowed to think your answer is interesting?" she asks with a smile.

The young waiter comes back to take their food order, and afterward they fall into silence. Justin realizes he's been staring into his drink for too long, and when he looks up, Mona is intently scrutinizing his face. She smiles when he flushes in response.

"How did your sister react when you stood your ground and told her no?" she asks.

He shrugs. "She seemed confused, like she didn't understand why I had a problem with her asking for a favor. Then she always has to have the upper hand and make me feel guilty while _she_ makes a sacrifice and agrees to change her date and miss the movie night."

"Movie night?"

"Yeah," Justin says, not knowing how he managed to forget to mention the event to her. "After I saved her, she apparently wanted to make it up to me. My friend and I decided to have a _Star Wars_ marathon, and my sister somehow thought her attendance would make me feel better, even though she doesn't really like those movies."

"I see."

"See what?"

"Well, I don't know your sister, obviously," Mona says, "but I imagine that she was hurt that you don't want her there, that you don't want to spend time with her."

"You don't know my sister," he says, shaking his head in disbelief. "I bet she was just looking for a way out of having to watch geeky movies with her brother and his friend. She'd much rather spend time with _Riley_." He cannot mask the bitterness in his voice.

"Are you sure about that? Would your sister really have gotten upset if you gave her an excuse to do something else? If she truly didn't want to spend time with you, why do you think she fought so hard for it?"

The realization hits him like a sucker punch. It's odd to think that Alex would _want_ to spend time with him, but it makes sense the more he thinks about it.

Justin sighs. "You're probably right, and I didn't even think about it that way. It's just that we don't spend that much time together in the first place. I found it weird when she suggested coming to the movie night. She normally finds me too much of a dork to bother with. She shouldn't want to spend time with me. Especially when I feel this way about her."

"I see where you're going with this, but it sounds to me like you're being selfish."

Justin nearly chokes on his soda. "E-Excuse me?"

"Listen, Justin. I know you feel bad about your attraction to your sister, but you're letting that affect your behavior and decisions. You're fine for exercising your own will, but I think you're so focused on avoiding your feelings that you don't think about hers. I told you to accept your feelings and try to act as normal as possible."

"I did try," he says, folding his napkin in his lap, maybe reflecting on the previous night. "I guess I was only thinking about myself, but she started to get angry, and we both just got so riled up. I regretted it right away, but she wouldn't let me apologize. She's so stubborn, and I can never win against her."

"Hmm. So how would you describe your relationship with your sister?"

Justin thinks about various words he's read in the dictionary throughout his lifetime, but none of them seem quite appropriate. However, he does know one word that at least encompasses the very basic nature of his relationship with Alex.

". . .Complicated."

"Then I believe that's the source of your problem, Justin."

"My sister? Yeah, no kidding."

She smiles briefly, opens her mouth to respond, but then the waiter is back with the prepared food that smells delicious. They spend a while simply enjoying their meals of vegetable dumplings, fried noodles, and grilled chicken in a spicy basil sauce.

Eventually, Mona asks, "How does your sister feel about you, Justin?"

The unexpected question throws him off, and he stares at her, a piece of noodle hanging from his mouth. He quickly slurps up the noodle before eloquently uttering, "Huh?"

"You two have a complicated relationship, right? How do you think she feels about you?"

"She. . .finds me annoying with all of my 'nerdy' habits. She looks down on me for being so smart, yet she relies on me to save her all the time. I don't know. I'm sure she loves me, but only as a sister should love her brother."

"I see. Do you tell each other things you wouldn't tell others, or do you mostly keep your distance?"

Justin thinks about it while he finishes his chicken. "A little of both. I think we try to keep our distance, but we always come back to each other. We help each other. We need each other."

Mona clearly hesitates before responding, and he doesn't know what to make of it. "Okay. So you definitely have a complicated relationship. Since we're almost finished today, do you want to meet again next Friday?"

The thought of being unable to talk so openly for an entire week makes him nervous. "Do you think I'm ready to go so long without us meeting?"

"I don't believe you're a harm to yourself or others, so yes, I do."

He doesn't want to take up too much of Mona's free time, so he nods in agreement.

"All right." She smiles and pauses as the waiter drops off the check for their meals. "Now, I'll leave you with something I hope will help. Your sister obviously depends on you to be her big brother who will come to the rescue as good as any knight in shining armor. You should consider her feelings, at least a little of the time, even when she doesn't do the same for you. Now, I am not telling you to be perfect, Justin. But your feelings revolve around your sister, and I told you not to avoid one, so that means you can't avoid the other. Continue to accept your feelings, but also continue to be her brother."

He finds it difficult to swallow, so he finishes the last of his soda before asking, "How do I do that?"

"For starters, even if you're jealous of her going on a date, you still have to be supportive. I don't expect you to rearrange your life for your sister. And if you don't want to take her work shift, at least don't make your rejection of her about your attraction. You're her brother first, right?"

"Yeah. And I don't want that to change -- no matter what my feelings are, no matter what her feelings are."

"Hm?" The intensity of her stare is unsettling for a reason Justin can't explain. Then she smiles, blue eyes crinkling, and the feeling alleviates a bit. "Then I wish you well in the next week, Justin. You can always call me if you need any quick advice."

"Thank you, Mona. I really appreciate this. I feel like I owe you something for all your help, so let me pay for your food."

"Oh, no, I couldn't let you do that."

They both stand at the same time, reaching for their bags. They argue over the check until it's decided that Justin will pay the bill this time and Mona will take the next. They separate in a good mood despite the heavy conversation. It's nearing dusk, so Justin hurries to the subway station. It's dark when he gets back home. There are not many customers in the Sub Station, and only Jerry is out front.

"Hey, Dad," Justin greets. "Where is everyone?"

"Your mother's upstairs starting dinner with Max. I let Alex off early to go on her date since it's a slow night."

"Ah." He is proud of himself for not outwardly reacting when all he wants to do is frown and sigh. "Well, do you need help here?"

"Nah, I've got it covered. No one has come in for an hour, so I'll close up soon. Then I can enjoy your mother's homemade tamales." Jerry wears a big smile, and Justin cannot help but follow his example.

"Okay. I'm going to do my homework then." He heads upstairs to the delightful smell of Theresa's cooking. He stops for a moment to see how everything's going, then he's up the last flight of stairs, walking to his room.

Alex's bedroom door is open, and though he wants to speak to her -- maybe try apologizing again -- he doesn't want to find out if she's still angry with him. But he can see her feet on the end of her bed where she is laying down, and curiosity gets the better of him. He stands in her doorway, wondering when she'll notice him, when she lowers her trashy gossip magazine and her dark eyes lazily slide over to him.

"What?" is all she says, and her tone makes it apparent that she's definitely still upset.

"Why--" Justin stops to clear his throat. "Why aren't you getting ready for your date with Riley?" He looks down as he says this, so he misses her facial expression when she lets out a growl of annoyance.

"He didn't want to go out because he'd already changed his plans. So we're still going tomorrow."

"Oh." Justin does not know what else to say, but figures it's as good a time as any to start his apology. "I'm sorry for making you change days, but I really had something important to do today. Maybe if you would have given me advanced notice, I could have helped you, Alex."

She shrugs and returns to reading her magazine. Then she lowers it to cover her mouth as she says, "I'm sorry too, I guess."

Justin blinks in surprise. "What? I can't hear you if you do that."

Alex throws the magazine off her bed in a huff as she sits up to look at him directly. "I said I'm sorry too, all right? I don't know why I tried to push you so hard when I guess it's better for you to go on a date since you rarely get the chance."

Her mocking smile irks him, and for some reason, he really wants her to know the truth -- or what he can tell her at least.

"It wasn't a date." As soon as he says it, Justin _knows_ he wants Alex to know he isn't interested in some other girl. Not that he wants her to know who he _is_ interested in. It's just that despite Alex being his sister and someone he shouldn't be attracted to, he wants her to know that he's available. How sick and twisted is that?

"Then what was so important that I couldn't meet with my boyfriend?" Her tone becomes one that makes Justin want to do something to knock her off her high horse, and he realizes she's the only person who can get so completely under his skin so quickly.

"I had dinner with someone, Alex, but it wasn't a date. And you're not the center of the universe. My world doesn't revolve around you." It's such a blatant lie that it feels like Justin's heart is beating along with the word _li_-ar, _li_-ar in his mind, so that the deception resonates through his entire body, and he fears his face shows it all.

Alex frowns, and he thinks he might have hurt her feelings again, but knows she has thicker skin than that when she simply rolls her eyes. "Ch. Whatever, Justin. I don't care anymore."

Before the conversation can continue, Theresa calls them down for dinner. Justin leaves his backpack in the hall and walks down the stairs ahead of Alex, wondering if things between them are okay now. It's almost as if she forgave him, but he can never be sure when it comes to her.

He grabs one tamale from the large tray and a small spoonful of beans before he takes his usual seat beside Alex, who already has three tamales on her plate to start with.

"Aren't you hungry?" Theresa asks, and Jerry looks at him questioningly.

"He already ate." Everyone looks at Alex while she eagerly peels away the husk of a tamale.

"Really?" Theresa is genuinely surprised because her boys always love to eat her cooking, and she loves to see them happy and full.

"Yeah, on the way home from the library," Justin says a little too quickly, making Alex snap her head up and he avoids her eyes just in time. "Sorry, but I was starving and couldn't wait."

"Oh, I see." Theresa hides her disappointment well. "You better eat some for lunch tomorrow then."

Jerry looks aghast that he's missing out on any extras, which Max laughs at -- because, really, he wouldn't be getting Justin's portion on a normal day anyway. However, Justin is more concerned with how Alex is staring at him with narrowed eyes, as if trying to read his mind.

This is bad because he has always been a terrible liar and because Alex knows Justin just lied to their parents, and she's trying to discover why. This means she knows enough to blackmail him, and his stomach sinks at the prospect. Alex turns back to her food without a word, and Justin doesn't know how his situation could get any worse at this point. All he wants is to figure a way out of the plot she's probably scheming, and he realizes it is going to be a long weekend if all he does is keep screwing up things between him and Alex.


	12. Chapter XII

**It's been forever, and I profusely apologize for making everyone wait so long. I hope you're all still interested in this story. I hope this chapter is worth the long wait. The next chapter will be up Friday, October 1. 8D  
**

**Disclaimer: Even after this ridiculously long break, I still don't own WOWP. And any mistakes are my own, so if you spot any, please let me know.**

* * *

Justin is making sandwiches in the Sub Station kitchen when Alex comes in, carrying used plates from the few customers who came in for a late breakfast or an early lunch.

"I can't believe you're awake," he says, trying to remain calm since she isn't avoiding him and acting like she's planning anything. "And you're actually doing work, both of which are incredibly surprising."

"I couldn't sleep, and the plates were just sitting there," Alex says with one hand on her hip. Her attention is entirely focused on him, dark eyes making his palms sweat around the knife in his hand. "So. . .?"

"So, do you want a sandwich while I'm making them?" he quickly offers.

"What for? I'm not staying for your stupid movie marathon, right?" She noisily sets the plates on the counter, and she's out the swinging door in an instant.

Justin sighs because Alex would normally just steal one of the sandwiches he already made, without asking of course. She was definitely still upset, and thanks to Mona, he now thinks it could be because she actually _wants_ to spend time with him. He can't help but think maybe she was giving him one last chance to invite her again when he shot her down, which makes his head ache with guilt.

This whole situation makes him unsure of how to act around her. Alex would positively deny being hurt, and she may very well be planning to blackmail him for lying to their parents. He can't decide whether or not he should continue being paranoid. It's not like it's ever done him any good because she still always manages to pull something.

Still, he figures it is better safe than sorry around Alex as he heads upstairs to wait for Zeke's arrival. He doesn't expect to find Alex at the kitchen counter, holding the bowl of chips he previously set out.

"Alex! Those are our snacks for during the movie!" He reaches forward to take the bowl, but she steps away to the other side of the counter.

"Maybe you should have put a label on it," she says, continuing to eat the chips.

"You know I don't label items for temporary use. Now put them down and back away."

"How about you give me the chips or I tell Mom and Dad you lied about where you were yesterday after school." Her smirk is already triumphant, and besides turning him on, it aggravates him beyond reason.

Justin swallows and tries to control his reaction as he sets down the tray of sandwiches. "You don't know where I was, so how about you just give up?"

"Well." Alex frowns. "I know you lied, and if you don't want dye in your shampoo again, I'll be taking these chips for myself. You already have those sandwiches, right?"

She tries to make a break for it, but Justin catches her around the island center. The bowl falls to the floor, chips scatter, but all he notices is how Alex is trapped between his arms and the counter. She looks up at him, totally defiant of anything he might do. Justin doesn't like the reaction in his body merely from the close proximity to his sister, but he finds he doesn't want to back down and let her win like she always does despite how that notion is the one getting him in more trouble.

Alex seems to be waiting for whatever he might do, and Justin cannot make up his mind because his body is buzzing with the part of him wants to make his point clear in a wholly inappropriate way. He doesn't have to worry about his sudden urges because the front door opens, and Alex's attention is drawn to the person who entered the living room. Justin's eyes, however, fall to the line of Alex's throat where he wants to nibble a delicious trail down to her chest.

Justin is startled when Alex's brown eyes flash up to his as she pushes him out of the way and quickly escapes up the stairs.

"Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt," Zeke says when Justin finally looks at his best friend.

He can feel the blood rush out of his head, and he feels like he might pass out as he struggles to pick up the chips on the floor. He can't help but wonder what exactly Zeke thought he saw, and for the life of him, Justin can't even think up a reasonable excuse. So he does the wisest thing, and doesn't say anything at all, which is okay because Zeke doesn't seem to notice that anything is wrong.

He asks Justin about his session with Dr. Gardner the previous day. Justin doesn't say much because anyone in his family could overhear, but mostly because he can't tell Zeke that Mona's second piece of advice was to be more brotherly than boyfriendly to the _mystery girl_ who would then most likely become obvious.

"So, you're feeling better?" Zeke asks.

Justin pauses where he's pouring a fresh bowl of chips. His hands are shaking, and he feels clammy, but he decides to put everything out of his mind then as he smiles the best he can and says, "Sure."

Zeke gives him a happy smile and grabs the tray of sandwiches while Justin starts the DVD.

"Tell me we're not watching the special edition with the digitally re-mastered scenes," Zeke says.

"Like I'd sit here and accept that Greedo shot before Han? No way."

His friend laughs. "I know, right? I mean, it's _Han Solo_. Of course he's going to shoot first. That's who he is."

When the opening music starts, they both recite the text scrolling up the screen, as they have many times before. Most of the film passes by with them quoting memorable lines and making light saber sounds, but when Leia kisses Luke on the cheek for good luck, Zeke laughs.

"What's so funny?" Justin asks.

"Oh, last week, Daniel and Robert were arguing about whether Lucas meant for those two to be twins the whole time. You'd think they would let it go by now, but I guess the whole incest thing still gets to them."

"Really?" Justin tries to laugh it off, but his heart starts beating faster, as if afraid that he will somehow be found out through a conversation completely unrelated to him. Just when he calmed down, they have to talk about the one subject he wants to avoid? Surely the universe is against him, though he doesn't know what that says about the universe in this case.

"I'm still not sure how I feel about it," Zeke continues. "I mean, in _A New Hope_, I thought it was all good. Leia could choose between Luke and Han as potential suitors. Then in _The Empire Strikes Back_, Luke and Leia have this passionate kiss that's totally hot. Then _Return of the Jed_i has to blow all our hopes out of the water with the revelation that they're twins. And Leia apparently always knew. . .? What the heck is that about? It just doesn't seem right. If Lucas planned it from the beginning, then he's pretty twisted, you know?"

Justin only nods as he shoves the last sandwich in his mouth to avoid speaking. It is hard for him to breathe because now it's confirmed in his mind that if his secret were to be revealed, his best friend would find him disgusting. Not that he expected anything different, really. And he never planned on telling Zeke anyway. He just wishes it didn't hurt so much.

As they take a break to make popcorn before starting the next film, Zeke laughs to himself again, gaining Justin's attention.

Zeke leans against the counter. "Hey, do you think Luke and Leia are still attracted to each other?"

Justin fumbles with his half-full bowl of popcorn, spilling some onto the counter top. He barely thinks about his mom's reaction to the mess he's been making all day before he realizes exactly what his friend just said.

"W-what? They're fictional characters." Justin's first repulsion to the question should be that _they're twins_, but Zeke is too busy gasping and holding a hand to his heart to notice.

Justin's own fanboy heart cringes in response.

"How can you say that?" Zeke's lips turn down in a frown, and Justin realizes it doesn't affect him like it would have, had it been Alex across from him.

"I just meant that it's. . .weird to talk about the characters like that," he says. "They're our iconic figures from childhood."

"I know, but I can't imagine that just because Luke and Leia found out they're twins means they simply stop being attracted to each other." Zeke idly eats one of the fallen pieces of popcorn. "I don't think it works that way."

Justin's brain might have stopped for a brief moment before he suddenly gets the courage to ask, "So what if they are still attracted to each other, even if they're siblings?"

Zeke shrugs and heads back to the couch. "I don't know. I guess it's not something people can help. You can't choose who you're attracted to, right?"

That's all he says, and yet Justin is looking at his best friend in a new light, and he thinks this is too good of an opportunity to waste.

"Well, they're fictional characters," he repeats, "and if it – their relationship happened in real life, it would be. . ."

"Weird," Zeke finishes for him, pausing to eat a handful of popcorn, while Justin sits beside him. "If Luke and Leia were simply attracted to each other, I don't think it'd be right for them to be together. But if they were in love, I don't think anyone should keep them apart."

Justin's heart is trying to crawl out of his throat, and he must have a strange look on his face because Zeke says, "What? That's gross, right? For me to think that?" He almost looks sheepish as he starts the movie, and Justin wonders if Zeke would remember his words for Justin's particular situation.

To keep his mind from wandering to painful places, he absently eats his popcorn and focuses on what he now knows was a poor choice for a movie marathon while in his current awkward state. After a while, Max comes in to watch with them, bored of playing outside. As the credits roll, Alex comes down the stairs dressed in the outfit she picked out two days before, the neon-paint spattered black T-shirt and green skinny jeans too tight for Justin's liking (as long as she's going out with someone else) tucked into black boots. She plops down beside Justin, much closer than he finds comfortable, and she steals a handful of popcorn from his bowl.

"Hey, there you are, Alex," Zeke says. "I thought you were going to watch with us."

She glances at Justin from the corner of her eye, acting nonchalantly, which kind of freaks him out. "I changed my mind. I'm going out with Riley tonight."

"Oh, of course. A date is more important than _Star Wars_." Zeke snorts and turns back to Justin with their previous conversation in mind. "So after that kiss, you'd think Luke and Leia might end up together, right?"

"Don't they?" Alex asks, butting in where Justin really doesn't want her.

"They're brother and sister," he mutters.

Alex blinks and stares at Justin in a way he doesn't know how to take. "Really? I. . .don't remember that."

"Yeah," Zeke says. "We were talking about whether or not they're still attracted to each other after they find out they're twins."

"Oh, gross," Max says, practically groaning before he gets up and leaves. That should be the proper response, Justin thinks.

Zeke gets up to change the DVD, and Alex reaches over Justin's lap to hijack the abandoned popcorn bowl.

"I don't really remember this movie," Alex says. "But I think they probably are still attracted to each other. I mean, you can't stop something like that, even if you want to."

"That's what I said!" Zeke is clearly excited that someone agrees with him, although Justin can't get over the fact that they're talking about incest.

"Yeah. . ." Justin's stomach is churning, and he almost feels like he's going to be sick when there's a knock at the door, and Alex hops up to answer it. Though Justin can feel the distinct lack of her presence beside him, he feels better, almost safer.

So Justin doesn't say anything or even look away from the TV screen while Alex leaves. He still doesn't want her to go on her date, but he's almost relieved because he feels like he is going crazy. Is he seriously the only one who thinks it is plain wrong to have feelings for your sibling? Maybe because Zeke and Alex can look at it from an unbiased point of view, they are able to accept it, but Justin can't help but feel strange to hear his sister say it couldn't be helped. Would she say the same if she knew he felt like that? Would he still want her to feel the same, to return his feelings?

He is caught up in his thoughts when Theresa and Jerry come up from the Sub Station to make dinner. They put the movie on hold while Zeke helps Theresa make her famous ten-cheese enchilada surprise and Justin is busy having a mental breakdown because he can't handle people acting natural over the concept of incest. He's just glad Zeke doesn't bring it up in front of his parents.

He is used to Mona talking about incest in a neutral manner because she's a professional counselor, but somehow, he doesn't want Zeke and Alex to think it's all right. It's not all right at all. Justin has thoughts that are sick and wrong, and he should be treated as such. Though maybe he's just looking for an excuse to punish himself.

By the time dinner is ready, Justin's worked himself into a sorry state. But instead of losing his appetite, he drowns himself in the cheesy enchilada, eating more than usual. Everyone around him seems oblivious to his suffering, and that's fine with him. After finishing, the whole family watches _Return of the Jedi_ until Max has to go to sleep, and Jerry and Theresa decide to spend some quality time together upstairs. Then Zeke has to leave because his parents expect him home before nine, so Justin is left alone.

He watches the movie in a daze until Alex comes back home, slamming the door behind her. She lets out an angry grunt as she sits on the couch, crossing her arms against her chest. Justin waits for Alex to say something, but they're sitting too close as always, and he can feel that her entire body is tense simply by the way her shoulder is barely touching his.

"Did something happen?" he asks. "You're back earlier than you said."

Alex blinks and shrugs. Justin thinks of all the times for her to be quiet, it's when she's upset.

"Want to share?" he tries again.

"Nope." She blankly stares at the movie, but at least he got an answer.

"Okay then."

They sit and watch in complete silence, and by the time the end credits are rolling, Justin can see that Alex is trying not to cry. His heart thumps painfully to see her that way. He sighs before flipping off the TV.

"What happened, Alex? Did Riley do something?"

She holds his gaze firmly, dark eyes shining with unshed tears. "We saw a boring movie, had a jacked up dinner I ended up paying for, and then he broke up with me."

Justin is torn between elation at the thought of Alex being single and rage that she has been hurt. He's disgusted by the first emotion, so he goes with the latter.

"That jerk," he says. "How could he do that to you?"

She barely lifts one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. "I kind of expected it. He was acting really weird yesterday. I just wish he hadn't taken me out. I didn't want to go to a movie where he wouldn't hold my hand or go to dinner and listen to him accuse me of—of—"

Alex hides her face and takes a shuddering breath, and Justin knows she's fully crying. His breath comes thick, and his heart falls heavy to see her in such a state. He throws any negative feelings he might have out of his consciousness as he wraps his arms around her small frame and pulls her into a comforting hug.

"I'm sorry, Alex," he whispers into her soft hair. "You don't deserve this."

"Maybe I do," she angrily swipes at the few tears rolling down her cheeks and tries to pull away, but Justin only holds her tighter which forces her head onto his shoulder for support.

"Don't say that, Alex. It's Riley's mistake for breaking up with you. He's missing out on the best girlfriend, I bet."

Alex gives a breathy laugh. "I doubt that, Justin. I thought everything was fine between us, you know? Then he got all weird, saying crazy stuff about us."

"What kind of crazy stuff?"

Alex stiffens then places her hand against his chest to push away. He holds her fast, keeping them in an awkwardly intimate position.

"Nothing, never mind," she says.

"Look at me and say that." He squeezes her arm gently for effect.

She's looking up at him then, all teary-eyed, and he has to look away from where she has her bottom lip caught in her teeth or he's going to kiss her any minute now. Alex sucks in another breath and pulls away to stand, and he lets her go this time so he can try to get a grasp on the situation at hand.

"Maybe Riley's right." She says it so softly, he isn't sure he's supposed to hear it.

Still he asks, "Right about what?"

"That I'm the one who's been acting strange lately. But not anymore. I won't let another guy get between us. I don't want to feel like that again."

Justin feels lost in the conversation. "Alex?"

"Not that I'm going to try to get Riley back or anything. I'll look for someone new. And everything will be fine. I won't think about –" she stops, mouth gaping for a moment.

She practically flies across the living room and up the stairs, so Justin is left in total confusion. She obviously kept some information from him – information that gave him a funny feeling in the pit of his stomach. He takes a few minutes to collect himself before warming up the leftover tamales from the previous night's dinner on a big plate. He grabs two pudding cups and two sets of spoons and a fork, then goes upstairs with everything on a tray. Alex's bedroom door is closed, and he carefully balances the tray in one arm as he quietly knocks.

There is no answer for a moment, but then he hears, "Go away, Justin."

"Sorry, can't do that, Alex. See, I've got this plate of tamales and some chocolate pudding that needs to be eaten. I don't think I can finish it all by myself." He waits for her response, but there isn't one. He takes the silence as her concession and swallows his fear as he intends to be her brother in her time of need and enters her room. Alex is in her bed with the blankets pulled over her head.

"All right, stop sulking and help me finish the leftovers or Mom will be angry." He pulls the blanket down, and she reluctantly sits up. Her eyes are swollen, her mascara's smeared, and her hair is all over the place. He chuckles lightly and says, "You're a mess."

"Gee, thanks. You can leave now." She starts wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her shirt.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean anything by it. You're still beautiful." Alex's eyes lock on his, and Justin's fully aware of what he said and how bad it could make this. She doesn't say anything, though, only absently flattens out the blankets around her.

"Well? Are you just going to stand there, or can I eat now?" she asks with a dull roll of her eyes.

He sets the tray down across her lap and sits beside her. Without hesitation, Alex starts peeling away the tamale husks. Justin is content to simply watch her if he can only keep his nerves and hormones under control.

"So," Alex says, "did you have fun watching your geeky movies today? It was probably better than my night, right?"

Justin shrugs and picks at a stray string on her blanket. "I don't know about that. We had a pretty odd conversation earlier."

"Ah, that's right. I guess I'd still rather have talked about fictional incest than have my boy – my _ex-boyfriend_ break up with me because he thinks I –"

Her constant hesitation is making him worried. "What aren't you saying, Alex? You can tell me."

She takes a bite of the tamale before avoiding the question and asking, "What do you think about those two twins in _Star Wars_? Do you think it's. . .totally gross?"

Justin's heart starts racing and he might hyperventilate with the way Alex is staring at him expectantly – almost hopefully. No, no, that's just his imagination.

"I-I don't know," he croaks out. "I guess I agree with Zeke that if two people love each other, then it doesn't matter if they're related by blood."

He wants to feel relief for confessing at least a portion of his feelings, but he's holding his breath, waiting for her response.

"Oh," is all she says.

Justin is nervous, so he keeps talking even when he should probably shut up. "Why do you ask? It's not like you to contemplate the meaning of something in a movie."

Alex keeps eating and with her mouth full, she says, "No reason."

He lets it go because his mind wants to assume that she might not freak out over the possibility of her brother being attracted to her, which really isn't the right path to go down. So he sits there quietly until Alex speaks again.

"Are you going to tell me what you were doing last night?" she asks for a change of topic.

"No," he answers immediately. "Are you going to blackmail me?"

Alex snorts. "I don't feel like it now."

"That's a first." They both smile, and the tension in the room eases.

"I guess we both have secrets then," Alex says, looking up at him.

There's a crumb stuck to her lip, and without thinking, Justin reaches forward to remove it. With one hand, he cups her chin and brushes his thumb across her bottom lip. She's so soft and looking at him with shimmering dark eyes, and it's all over for him. He leans toward her, and she doesn't move away.

"Justin?" It's a breathless whisper that makes him realize he was fully going to kiss her – kiss _his sister_.

He is off the bed with his back to her so quickly his stomach has to catch up. He covers his mouth with his hand, and he can smell her fruit-flavored lip gloss. Shame overwhelms him, and his eyes are watering before he knows it. Just as he's going to make a run for it, Alex grabs his arm and stands in front of him to block the exit. He turns his face away, as if he can hide the guilty tears welling up.

"Justin, look at me," Alex gently commands.

"No," he chokes out, desperately hoping he won't totally cry. "Let me go."

"No," she stubbornly echoes. "Not until you tell me what just happened."

That pushes him over the edge, and he tries to break away, but Alex backs up and closes her bedroom door. Her eyes are all concern, and he's not sure what comes over him, but he embraces her, and then he's leaning over her while she's pushed against the door. His lips are on her forehead, and in the stillness, he's almost able to control himself again. But then her small hands are on his waist, and it is as if an actual jolt of electricity bolts through his body. He pulls away from the shock, and his senses have finally come back.

He stares hard at the floor and quickly says, "S-Sorry."

"Justin? What's wrong?" Her voice is wavering, and fear that she might have gotten scared forces him to meet her gaze that is now curious.

"Everything." He's on the verge of blurting out all that is plaguing him just to get it over with.

"Did you get dumped too?"

Alex cracks a smile, and like that Justin laughs and sputters, "No!"

And it is as if she doesn't understand the implications of what he almost did – and why would she? She shouldn't have reason to suspect that her brother wanted to kiss her, unless of course you count the fact that he actually tried to do exactly that. He's not really sure what to do because relief is quickly overtaking his shame.

"Well, I'm gonna go to sleep now, so yeah." He makes his way awkwardly past her, and she lets him go out the door. He takes refuge in his own room and practically collapses on his bed. Staring up at his ceiling with his heart still racing, he can't calm down. How could he. . .? Oh god. He's going to Hell. If Alex hadn't called his name, he would have absolutely kissed her. How could Mona possibly have thought he is okay?

At that, he grabs his cell phone from his backpack and gives her a call. It's late, so he'll just leave her a message, but as the phone rings, he starts to panic. His breath gets stuck in his throat just as she actually picks up.

"Hello?"

Should he just hang up? It's kind of pathetic that he needs her help after only one day. But he can't deny that he does need her help.

"Um, hi, Mona. It's Justin." His voice sounds harsh, tight in his throat.

"Oh, hey. What's up?"

"Sorry, but I didn't expect you to actually pick up when it's so late."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I'm only doing some research. So, what do you need?"

He doesn't mean to, but he makes a strangled sound as tears well up and he presses his fingers to his eyes.

"I – oh god – I –"

"Justin? What's wrong? What happened?"

"I tried to kiss her," he whispers, and the sound of it aloud is too much, especially when it is met by silence on the other end.

Then Mona sighs softly into the phone. "Tell me what happened."

Her voice is gentle acceptance, and Justin chokes back a sob. "Her boyfriend broke up with her, and she was upset and keeping something from me. It tried to comfort her, but I –"

"I see. Well, I'm glad you tried to be there for your sister when she needed you. That shows great promise, Justin. How do you feel now?"

"Sick," he says, staring up at his ceiling fan, letting the circular motions capture his attention, calming him a bit.

"Do you still want to kiss her?"

He closes his eyes, breathing in deeply. "Yes. Every time I see her. I thought I was doing well fighting it. But I guess not."

"How did your sister react?" Mona asks.

"What?"

"How did your sister react when you tried to kiss her?"

"She. . .didn't really do anything. She probably didn't even realize what was happening. Then she wouldn't let me leave, and she made a joke, so things seemed fine. I just can't believe I came so close to—" Justin sighs. "I don't think I can trust myself anymore."

"Why? You stopped yourself, Justin. That's the important part."

"But I wouldn't have. If she hadn't said something, I know I wouldn't have stopped." Though he has greatly calmed while talking about it, the thought still makes his chest tighten. With the heaviness making it difficult to breathe, he admits that he needs to quit avoiding what he really wants to say.

"I didn't want to stop."

Mona hums. "Well, Justin, what do you want to do?"

He sits up, as if she can see him coming to attention. "What do I want to do?"

"Yes," Mona says. "You said you can't trust yourself anymore. If that's true, what do you want to do?"

"I-I don't know."

She laughs a little. "I'm not looking for a specific answer. Do you still want my help?"

"Of course. I guess—"

"Yes?"

"I guess I want to meet before Friday."

"Do you?"

Once again, Justin feels as if he's missing part of the conversation. "Yeah. . .I do."

"Okay. Whatever day is good for you, Justin. Why don't you call me back tomorrow when you've decided."

"All right. Thank you for listening, Mona. I really appreciate your help."

"No problem. I only hope I can give you the help you want. Sleep well, Justin."

She hangs up, and in the silence, Justin imagines that Mona now might see him as hopeless. Maybe he is. . . After all the progress he made in the last week with trying to act normally, he majorly slipped up today. What if he needs more serious therapy? Justin can no longer be complacent in this matter. He can't expect someone like Mona to simply be able to fix his problem. He should also be using all his resources. Even though he decided to forgo using magic because it is too risky and possibly dangerous, he may have no other choice at this point.

He almost kissed Alex today, and what if next time he really can't stop himself? Not that there will be a next time, of course, because Justin has to get control over himself. He is afraid he won't be able to face Alex or even his own image in the mirror if he can't control his impulses. There has to be a way to end his attraction to his sister, and now he is determined to find a way to do so, even if he has to resort to dangerous magic. He can't handle this anymore.


	13. Chapter XIII

**A/N:** I updated (and it didn't take me a year XD). Aren't you guys proud of me? Haha, well, I have a surprise for you all next week. Better get excited. (No, not really. It's not that good of a surprise. :P) 3 And thank you for all of your continuing support. It means a lot to me.

**Disclaimer:** I don't think I will ever own WOWP. 'Cause apparently Disney executives don't appreciate incest. (Though some people who work for them do.)

* * *

After working a busy lunch shift at the Sub Station, Justin sits in the lair, skimming through dozens of books for research. He takes notes on anything that might seem plausible, though none of the spells are quite what he wants. He is almost ready to give up when Jerry comes in on his break, surprised to see his son studying so hard on the weekend.

"You know, I didn't assign any homework this week," he says with a laugh.

Justin jumps, startled. "Oh, no, I'm just. . .curious about something."

"What's that? Maybe I can help?" Jerry's face is so open and genial that Justin considers it might not be so bad to ask him for advice.

He sighs, rubbing the back of his head before asking, "Dad, do you remember when we learned about potions, and Alex accidentally drank both halves of a love potion?"

Jerry frowns, no doubt in recollection of the whole evening that was nearly disastrous. "Yeah."

"Well, I was wondering if there is a potion to make people fall out of love or," Justin pauses to swallow his gathering nerves, "end an attraction?"

"Hmm. I think so, but like the love potion, it would only be temporary. Unless, of course, you continually drank the potion, I suppose. Though there's never any way to tell how prolonged exposure to a potion will affect a person."

A heaviness surrounds Justin as he nods because it is as he suspected. Still, he asks, "So there isn't, like, an antidote to a love potion, right? I'd have to create my own potion to counteract the feelings of attraction."

"Exactly. It would take time. Why the interest in potions all of a sudden?" Jerry's smile falls. "Don't tell me Alex is in trouble again."

"No, no." Justin can't help his own smile. "As far as I know, she's still asleep. Are there any spells that can stop feelings of attraction. . .but not completely erase feelings of love?"

Jerry rubs his chin in contemplation. "If there is, it's bound to be tricky. I mean, I don't know why someone would want to only get rid of feelings of attraction but not love. Feelings of love are much stronger and often influence attraction."

"I don't understand," Justin says.

"Think about it. If you love someone, aren't you more attracted to them by nature?" Jerry suggests as he sits on the couch.

"So those feelings are connected?" Justin says, realizing the truth of the question while a knot of hopelessness tightens in his stomach. "Is it possible to be attracted to someone you love but then return to just loving them?"

Jerry stares at his son before he slowly says, "What's this really about?"

Justin's heart starts racing because he doesn't want to be found out, yet he's not sure what he expected after this conversation. "Nothing. I just realized why it's so difficult to find a spell like that."

His dad doesn't seem too convinced, but he nods anyway. "I guess if you had to cure something like that, you would have to improvise a spell yourself. But you know, it still always comes down to the intention behind the magic. That's the most important part."

Jerry pats Justin's shoulder as he leaves to go back to work. Once alone again, Justin sets aside the books and starts anew on a blank sheet of paper. He thinks about his wording carefully. He doesn't have a natural gift for improvisation like Alex, so it takes him a number of attempts before anything remotely sounds like an appropriate spell. Still, Justin can't believe how difficult this is because he knows so many spells and studies near constantly. This should be relatively easy despite the subject matter, but something is inhibiting him.

He looks at his paper and thinks the spell might work if his magic is strong enough. He stands and takes out his wand from his back pocket. The weight of his wand in his sweating hands is unfamiliar, and the sensation is almost enough to make him rethink his plan. But really, this is for the best.

So he closes his eyes in concentration, feeling the magic well up in his core before stemming through his arm, all the way to his wand. He takes a deep breath, then says the words firmly and quietly while sweeping his wand in three broad circles.

"I love my sister, so before this becomes a disaster, erase only my attraction to her."

Warm light flares from the tip of his wand, brightening the lair for a brief moment. Justin opens his eyes and. . .he doesn't feel any different. But he should, right? Even though the spell still sounded off in some way, he believes it should have worked. The only way to really test the results would be to go see how he feels around Alex.

The notion makes him nervous, but thinking about her doesn't do anything abnormal to his body – doesn't make his heart speed up or anything. He wants to be relieved to know that his hell of a week might finally be over, but he doesn't want to jinx himself. There is also no reason to start worrying yet because he might be okay. For the first time in what seems like forever, Justin might be able to look at his sister without wanting to kiss her. And that should make him happy.

He leaves the lair and goes upstairs to find Alex sitting at the kitchen table, eating a bowl of cereal. She is still in her pajamas, and Justin smirks at her, feeling more natural than he expected.

"Did you just wake up?" he asks, heading for the couch.

"Well, I woke up early on my sleeping day, so I was making up for the lost time."

"Then are you feeling better?" He can't see her, and he doesn't want to seem too interested or invested, so he simply out waits her silence. Then he hears the clatter of the bowl and spoon in the sink before Alex is on the couch beside him.

"I'm okay," she says, grabbing the remote control from his hands.

Justin lets her change the channel to some soap opera he's never heard of – but only because he feels bad about her breakup and how he acted last night. He is just so elated in the way his mind and body do not respond to Alex as she sits ridiculously close on the large couch. He barely pays any attention to the television program.

When he realizes the characters on TV are frantically making out, he looks to Alex for her to change the channel. Only she looks a little pale, so he starts to worry.

"Alex, do you feel all right?" he asks. "You don't look so well."

Her eyes flick to him briefly before going back to the TV, where she gestures to the screen with one hand. "That's because Warren and Danielle just found out that they might be fraternal twins separated at birth. Yet they're still totally going at it. Weren't you paying attention?"

"You know I don't like soap operas," he mutters.

"Yeah, well, I'm just wondering what's with all the incest in TV and movies lately. It's like that's okay to talk about now or something." She shrugs. "Whatever, I guess. Society changing and all that. Or something."

Justin considers the implications, and instead of a cold disgust, he merely feels a bit uncomfortable with the notion of incest, as if it doesn't really faze him. He is not entirely sure what that means, but he has the feeling it might be bad.

Yet he looks at Alex, and she is simply his beautiful sister. He does not get that horrible lurch in his stomach or pain in his heart because he only loves her as a brother should. This has to be a good thing. He made the right choice, no matter what that little piece of doubt says.

"Is there something on my face? You're staring," Alex says, one hand absently wiping at her soft cheek. "Or is it because I said something profound?"

She snorts at her own joke, and without thinking, Justin reaches forward to cup her cheek, thumb running down the smooth curve to her parted lips where her smile drops. Alex's brown eyes fall to his lips before lifting back to his grey eyes. Then she takes her bottom lip in her teeth, and it comes to him that he _literally_ does not know what he is doing, what is happening. With a great effort, he pulls away and stands, turning his back on her. The dismay that this is too similar to the previous evening has him heading for the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Alex asks.

"I've got homework to finish," Justin says without a second thought while he quickly climbs the staircase.

Once in the privacy of his room, he sits at his desk with his head in his hands. He takes deep, calming breaths, and eventually he looks at his Calculus textbook, and he can actually focus on finishing his work. It doesn't take him long, and when he has nothing left to take his attention, Justin decides to get out of the apartment for a while. Maybe some fresh air will do him good.

As he walks down the hall, he hears music coming from behind Alex's closed bedroom door. He tries not to think about anything and goes out the front door to avoid his family in the Sub Station. He takes his time in Waverly Place, but maybe it wasn't such a good idea because instead of clearing his mind, his thoughts begin to consume him.

Somewhere, somehow, it seems like Justin made a mistake. In casting that spell, Justin succeeded in removing his attraction to Alex – or so he thought. Now, he isn't so sure. The thing is, he didn't _feel_ attracted to her as far as he could tell. But he clearly would have kissed her if he hadn't come to his senses in time. So what does that mean?

He doesn't know, but he really wants to talk to someone about. He only has one option, so he takes out his cell phone and calls Mona. She answers after a few rings.

"Hi, Mona, it's Justin. Are you busy?"

"Not at all. I'm glad you called, Justin. How are you today?"

"I thought I was better after last night, but I was wrong. I still need your help."

"Why? What happened?"

Justin hesitates. If he tells her he's getting worse, will she stop helping him? He wants to believe Mona wouldn't just abandon him, so he tries to explain what happened, minus the magic element.

"I tried to forget about my attraction to A—my sister." He speaks quietly, though none of the strangers are close enough to overhear his conversation. "And it was like I could look at her and treat her like my sister, you know?"

"But?"

"But I still wanted to kiss her. I wasn't even thinking about it, Mona, I swear. But I was going to kiss her again, like my body was moving on its own."

"I see," she says. "And what were you doing when this happened?"

"We were just watching TV together."

"Uh huh. So this was a normal situation for you to be in?"

"Yeah."

"And after last night, how did today's incident make you feel, Justin?"

He sits down on a bench outside a clothing store that already closed for the day. "I guess it scared me. I don't know. I tried not to think about it too much. But I don't like how I could want to kiss her. . .without actually realizing I was having those feelings."

When Mona doesn't respond right away, he wonders if this is too crazy to tell even a therapist.

"Well, Justin, it sounds to me like you wanted so badly to forget about your feelings for your sister that your mind denied your feelings existed. Your consciousness essentially did exactly what you wanted, but maybe your unconscious mind wasn't ready to let go of those feelings. You can't cure yourself overnight, if that's what you're looking for. And maybe it's good to have the willpower to keep your behavior strictly sibling-like. It's a good place to start, but that won't automatically change your feelings toward her. Do you understand?"

Justin finds it difficult to swallow because now he knows what went wrong with the spell.

"I know you want a quick and easy solution, but that doesn't exist," she continues. "It will take a long time, but as long as you have the determination to change what you find to be wrong, I think you can succeed. Justin? Are you still there?"

"Yes," he says, almost feeling too numb to speak.

"So, do you still want to meet this Friday?" she asks.

Justin sighs heavily into the phone. "It would be selfish of me to ask to meet before then, right?"

"Probably. But I don't mind. If you think you need to see me before then, that's fine. I'm free on Wednesday at our usual time, if you want."

He briefly thinks about his schedule. "That sounds good. Thank you."

"Okay. Anything else you want to get off your chest while you have me on the phone?"

"Why can't this be easy?" He says it more to himself, but she still answers.

"Haven't you heard that matters of the heart are never easy?" He can hear Mona's smile, and he laughs, tipping his head back over the bench.

Then he presses his fingers into the corners of his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Matters of the heart, huh? She's my sister. Why can't we just have a normal sibling relationship?"

Mona remains silent for a moment, but he can hear the shuffling of papers in the background.

"Justin, what exactly is 'normal'? What do you think is normal between siblings? You and your sister sound fine."

He lets out a harsh, incredulous laugh. "Yeah, except for the whole sexual attraction issue on my part."

"Listen, Justin. I know it really bothers you, but maybe your attraction is not such a big deal."

Justin sits up. "Not a big deal? Why does no one around me think incest is a big deal?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean. . .my best friend and my sister basically said the idea of incest didn't bother them if real love is involved. I mean, we were talking about fictional characters, but still."

Mona hums before chuckling. "I'm sorry, but it's a little funny."

"It's not funny to me," Justin mumbles, feeling heat in his cheeks.

"I'm sure. But doesn't that mean anything to you? Ease your mind a bit?"

Justin is taken aback. "_No_. I love my sister. I love her more than anyone. But that doesn't make my attraction to her okay."

"Of course, Justin, of course. And I know why you think that. I just want you to take it easy and stop adding unnecessary stress to your life. At this rate you'll have high blood pressure and die of a heart attack at an early age. So just relax a little bit, and maybe this won't feel like such a big deal."

"But this is a big deal," he says.

"Then maybe you'll find the help you want more easily."

Despite his confused feelings, Justin knows she's probably right. "Okay. I'll try not to stress out. Thanks, Mona."

"No problem, Justin. I'll see you in a few days."

He hangs up and leans his elbows on his knees while he stares at the cement beneath his feet. He kind of feels like he's going to vomit with the way his stomach keeps clenching in around itself. He knew messing with magic could be dangerous, but he never thought he would be the one to mess it up. He so rarely makes mistakes in casting spells.

But to realize exactly why his spell failed when he thought he desperately wanted a cure for his attraction to Alex is making this so much worse. He thinks about what happened when he sat beside Alex on the couch. It's like he was still attracted to her even though he didn't realize it. And yet, how could that be possible when the spell specifically said to remove only his attraction?

It's because part of him didn't want to let go of those feelings. The whole idea is making him sick. Especially because it seems like all the spell took away was Justin _caring_ about his attraction. Like it is okay. But the logical part of him knows this is very, very bad, which is the only reason he's freaking out, the only reason he's feeling anything at all.

And Justin can't handle that. He would rather feel guilt and shame than nothing at all. If his attraction to Alex persists because some horrible part of him is so depraved, then he deserves to feel the consequences. That makes his next decision far easier.

He walks back home, going through the Sub Station. He waits until Theresa and Jerry are serving food to customers to slip into the lair unnoticed. He grabs the jar of _un-do dust_ off the shelf, taking a deep breath before he sprinkles it over his head and shoulders. He coughs, and something in his stomach coils like a snake. He figures that's the sensation of sin taking its toll on his organs. Other than that, he doesn't feel any different. And this time, he isn't eager to test the outcome.

So Justin delays the inevitable by doing the reading for the next wizard lesson. It isn't long before he is interrupted by the one person he's not especially thrilled to see – even if his heart does tumble over a beat as Alex enters, tip-toeing and obviously trying to be quiet.

He smiles because she hasn't noticed his presence in the chair. "Hey, Alex, what are you doing?"

She jumps and turns to him with panic briefly flashing across her face. "Jeez, Justin! You scared me! You've _got_ to stop doing that."

Justin doesn't respond because he's too busy analyzing his body's reaction. His temperature has risen, his face feels a little flushed, his palms are sweating with his guilt-racked nerves, and his heart rate is definitely indecisive.

"Oh, man, are you studying again? What a dork," she says, walking over and leaning against the arm of the chair.

Justin's shoulder tingles where her arm touches him. He doesn't look up at her because, yeah, he's back to normal. Or really, _abnormal_ since he just wants to pull his sister into his lap and kiss her for however long it takes to sate his heart.

"Just passing the time," he manages to say. "And don't change the subject. What's with all the sneaking around?"

Justin turns his head to face her, and he is surprised by her close proximity. She's close enough that he can see every minute quirk of her full lips as she struggles to find an excuse.

"Never mind, I don't want to know," he says, looking back at his book before he decides to close the small gap between their mouths. "If you're planning some kind of prank to pull on me, just forget about it. I'm not in the mood."

"No kidding," she says, moving to flop into the chair opposite him, putting her sneaker clad feet on the table. "You've been all in your head lately. More than usual, anyway. I mean, you're not usually the space case of the family. If you start now, what will Max be?"

Justin laughs. "Still the one who doesn't have a clue."

Alex snorts, then breaks down in laughter. His eyes are drawn to her throat as she tips her head back. There is a warm feeling in his stomach and because he doesn't know if it's because of Alex his sister, or Alex a woman, or both, Justin lets it be. He's not supposed to stress himself out, so he doesn't over analyze anything, and his mind goes back to something unrelated that was bothering him.

"Are you going to be okay?" he asks when she stops laughing.

There is an understanding in her dark eyes. "Yeah. He was just a boy, and you're my brother."

Her smile tightens, and somehow the silence that falls over them is awkward, nearly tangible. Justin can't identify the source as Alex picks at the black polish on her fingernails.

He almost can't help himself when he asks, "What do you mean?"

Alex's big brown eyes widen, and when she looks up at him, they fill with something he doesn't recognize. She opens her mouth to speak, obviously rethinks it and stops. Justin finally sees the anxiety and fear in her eyes when she swallows. Something tightens around his heart in response.

"Alex, what is it? What's wrong?" he asks, setting the spell book aside to give her his full attention. "You know you can tell me anything, Alex. I may be your dorky big brother, but I'll always help you if I can."

"I know." Her eyes start watering, and she blinks furiously to stop any tears. "But this is something you wouldn't understand, Justin."

His mind starts working, trying to figure out the problem. "Listen, I haven't had a real girlfriend in a while, and my last one wasn't around for very long. So maybe I can't really help you get over Riley because I don't totally understand how you feel, but –"

"This isn't about Riley," she solidly interjects. "It's about me. He said some things that made me. . ."

"He said something to hurt you?" Justin says, more to himself as an angry heat rushes through his head.

"He didn't do it on purpose. I think he was more hurt than me because he actually had to bring it up, to make me realize the problem." Alex is out of the chair, and he barely has time to stand and reach for her arm.

"What problem?"

"See, Justin! I can't talk to you about this. I can't talk to anyone, so just let me go, and I'll be fine. I'll figure this out on my own without your help." Her eyes are pained, yet steady, and Justin can't stand having her body so close to his.

So he does let her go because Alex is smart enough to know when she needs help, and he hopes she will eventually confide in him. She turns away and leaves the lair as quietly as she entered. Justin still can't help but feel as if he made some sort of mistake again, like he should have pushed Alex a little harder for her own good. Because he knows she won't really deal with her problem, with whatever Riley told her. Alex will just push it all aside, never confronting the issue until it's too late and it all overflows, breaking whatever emotional dams she has in place.

Yet Justin can't help her if she doesn't want it. So for his own sanity, he doesn't dwell on it, and he decides to give her some space in hope that everything will get better with time. Even if magic didn't help him, and it feels like he's running out of options, like he needs some kind of miracle to truly go back to normal with Alex. Even if he feels like he is missing something big, something important.


	14. Chapter XIV

**A/N:** I cannot apologize enough for not updating in so long. I'm a horrible person, okay? I can at least blame part of the delay on me working on the apocabigbang fic, which took up half of 2011. The rest of 2011 has been crap for my personal life, full of school and work and family drama that no one cares about, least of all me, haha. 2011 has probably been one of the worst years of my life, but things are finally looking up for me, so fortunately that means more time and energy for writing.

I have the next few chapters written, so the delay between updates shouldn't be too long. Although, you have my permission to bother me on Twitter and Tumblr if you think I'm slacking off, lol. I need both a cheering squad and whipping squad to get my butt in gear. Same username both places: ourdreamsunfold. Links in my profile.

Anyway, I just want to thank everyone who stuck with me through this heinous wait for an update. I really appreciate you guys, as I wouldn't have had the motivation to keep writing this story without you. Thank you, and enjoy the chapter!

**Disclaimer:** A year later, and I still don't own WOWP. Imagine that.

* * *

It is a few days before Justin really spends any time with Alex again. He has kept to himself as much as possible because he wants to avoid any awkward moments, like him trying to kiss her. Because that never goes over well.

So when he sees Alex out front of the Sub Station, actually _sweeping_, he knows something is wrong. While she seems to be fine, behavior back to normal, Justin knows she rarely does any kind of work at all unless she's trying to keep her mind occupied.

Through the window, he watches Alex accost some poor guy about littering and wonders what could be wrong with her. He knows she isn't over Riley, no matter what she claims, but he can't do anything about that. Only time can give her what she needs.

Justin finishes wiping down the tables, and when Alex comes in, she passes behind him. He feels her fingers run a line down his back, and for a moment he thinks he must be hallucinating as he shivers. But when he looks at her, she sticks out her tongue and turns back around, heading for the lair.

He stares at the wet tabletop with the barest hint of his reflection, wishing he didn't still feel the burning trail left by her nimble fingers. He takes a deep breath and goes after Alex. He tries to not think about her touch, but Alex spends the wizard lesson tormenting him as usual. She even shoved a hockey stick _inside_ him, and he felt like it should have pierced his heart instead of harmlessly passing through his body.

That is why Justin volunteers to help his teacher put together the student worksheet for the upcoming museum field trip, hoping to keep his mind occupied. For a few blessed hours, he is able to forget about Alex, to the point where he almost doesn't want to see Mona that day because that means he will have to talk about everything, and he will never get any peace.

Yet after school, Justin gets on the train going opposite of Waverly Place, and he meets Mona at a small British pub that is dimly lit and smells like fish and alcohol. The man behind the bar eyes him suspiciously, so Justin tries to hide his backpack as he joins Mona in a secluded booth in the back. She greets him with a smile and places the file she was reading in her large purse. Her brown hair is tied half up, and she is wearing a pair of simple, black-framed glasses that give her a more youthful appearance than her usual red, pointed pair.

Justin swings his backpack into the seat and settles across from her. "Hi, Mona. So why did you choose this place?"

"Their fish and chips are to die for." Mona flags down the only waitress and orders the food along with a soda for Justin.

He doesn't know how to start the conversation for this meeting, so he is glad that she takes the lead.

"How have you been the past few days?" she asks. "I didn't receive anymore emergency phone sessions."

She laughs, and Justin is again surprised that a simple gesture can make him feel so much more relaxed.

"I've been okay," he says.

"That's it? That's all I get?"

It feels odd to smile at this point, but he does, and he adds a shrug. "I've kind of been keeping my distance."

She quirks a brow, an almost disapproving look.

"Not like I've been avoiding my sister or anything," he corrects. "I've just been trying to not make things any worse for myself."

"I see. So no more trying to kiss her?"

His behavior and near-actions over the weekend still bring a shameful heat into his cheeks. "No. I've, uh, I've actually been trying to keep myself busy, you know. It helps if I have other things to focus on."

"Understandably. Good for you, Justin." She stirs a sugar into her iced tea before she speaks again. "Do you mind if we talk about something else today?"

Justin raises his eyebrows. "Like what?"

"Like...tell me about your relationships with your family, your friends."

Justin isn't sure he likes where this is going, what Mona might discover about his personal life. But she has been so kind and understanding, he figures she deserves as much honesty as possible.

"Well, we're a pretty normal family. I mean, we're kind of horrible to each other, and my mom and dad aren't the most able parents in the world, but we're good. We may not always get along, but we all love each other."

"I can tell just by the way you talk about them. You and your dad, do you have a typical father-son relationship?"

Justin doesn't know what typical means, but he knows his family is anything but that.

"Did you father teach you how to play sports? Teach you how to be a man?" Mona can hardly keep a straight face as she clarifies.

"No, my dad's more of a watcher than a doer when it comes to sports. I didn't help because I wasn't into that kind of stuff as a kid. I was too busy reading robotics manuals and engineering textbooks. I only got into baseball earlier this year to get close to a girl. Dad seemed proud of me for a while."

"So you are close in other ways?"

"Yeah. My dad likes to teach us about our family history and stuff." It is the closest he can get to the truth.

"That's actually very cool, I think." Her blue eyes twinkle. "Tell me about your mother."

Justin laughs. "She's uh...she's self-absorbed like she thinks she's a soap opera star. But she really loves us."

"Of course. So you say your parents won't win any awards but they have good hearts?"

"Yup."

"I'll let you in on a not-so-secret secret, Justin. No one wins any awards. Parenting is hard work. You have to be responsible for these new lives when most of us are still trying to figure out ourselves."

"Is that supposed to make me feel better?" he asks with an incredulous laugh.

She smiles around her straw as she drinks her tea. "Only to help you understand that no one is perfect."

"I'm just even less so." Derision shadows his words.

"Perhaps in our current society you feel that way. But you have to realize that not so long ago, incestuous relationships were the norm. Even some cultures today still practice incest."

"Really?"

"I can lend you some of my literature if you want to read about it."

Justin doesn't respond because reading about how incest is accepted in other cultures might make him feel like his situation is okay, and that isn't why he's talking to a therapist.

"But it's not okay here," is all he says.

"Well, yes. But most states won't prosecute unless there's some other criminal activity involved."

"Like where?"

She thinks for a moment. "Like right next door in Jersey."

So close. But that's not the point of this conversation. "How do you know all this?"

"I was curious about your situation, so I did some research."

Their conversation lulls as the waitress brings the baskets of fried food. The batter is light and crispy around the flavorful fish, and the potato wedges are salted to perfection.

"You're right, this is really good," Justin says. "My brother probably wouldn't be content until he puts something gross on it."

"Your brother?"

Justin realizes he forgot to mention Max. "Yeah, he's a few years younger than my sister and me. Still in junior high. He's kind of clueless, but he's really much smarter than he acts."

"Ah, trying to differentiate himself from you and your sister." She nods sagely, as if it is something she hears all the time. "Are you two close?"

"He prefers to make trouble with my sister. Usually the two of them ganging up and pulling pranks on me."

Mona laughs delightedly. "I can see that happening."

While they finish their food, Justin finds himself telling Mona about the art museum field trip he has been helping his teacher plan, and making it incredibly obvious how much of a geek he is.

"So you have a friend who's into the same geeky things, that's great. What about girlfriends?" Mona asks.

"The usual, I guess. Never goes more than one date. Except my first girlfriend last year. I really liked her, and I thought we would last longer than we did."

"First relationships rarely do. Why did it end?"

"I don't know." But that is a lie because he knows exactly why things with Miranda ended so quickly.

"Did you fight?"

"No. After what happened with our first kiss, she could pretty much forgive anything."

"Oh? What happened?"

"It was this horrible day where Ale-" Justin quickly coughs to cover his slip. "My sister tried so hard to get me my first kiss, it was such a complicated mess."

He rubs his eyes with one hand, but he knows he is smiling at the memory.

"So your sister was involved in your first kiss?"

"Yeah, and of course she had to turn it into a competition or something, so the next day she just up and kisses this random guy at school like it meant nothing. And she looked at me like..."

"She wanted to make you jealous the way she was probably jealous over your girlfriend."

Justin never would have said that aloud. "I don't know why I think that."

"Because you know it's true."

"I don't know that," he says adamantly. "My sister has always had her own reasons for doing things."

"Do you really think it's so complicated, as you put it? I think you may not realize it, but it sounds like a lot of your sister's life involves you, Justin."

He tries not to think too much about the things he said to Alex the previous week while Mona crunches her teeth around a cube of ice.

"As her older brother, you've been in her life as long as she can remember. She's spent years trying to keep up with you, and now both of you are growing up, stuck in an awkward stage where you are no longer kids but not yet adults. You show an interest in a girl, so she shows an interest in a boy. She probably feels like you are moving on without her, and she doesn't know if there is a place for her in your life anymore."

Justin remembers the hurt in Alex's brown eyes when he told her his life didn't revolve around her. Oh god.

"She is afraid to lose you, Justin, so she might try to replace you with a boyfriend. This is the kind of situation that happens with closely bonded siblings."

It is hard for Justin to think of Alex as a scared little girl because she's hidden away the vulnerable parts of herself for so many years now. But inside, he knows Mona is right. In many ways, Alex is the most vulnerable of the Russo siblings, but she is also strong enough to overcome her fears. Justin wishes he had half her strength.

"I get it now. It makes sense," he says. "So, is there an explanation like that for what's happening to me?"

"Mm. Not so much. Are you ready to tell me why you broke up with your girlfriend. This was before the revelation of your feelings, yes?"

Justin sighs. He thought she would have forgotten about that. "It was something I realized at the time that is just so much worse now when I think about it."

"Is it so bad? Knowing you, I don't think so."

He doesn't understand what she means by that, but he has to answer her. He needs to talk about it, no matter how it sounds. He puts his face in his hands, rubbing his eyes like he can rub the incident out of existence.

"She looked like my sister."

Mona is silent when he least expects it. When he finally lowers his hands and stops hiding, he finds her staring intensely.

"Really?" Not a judgment but a simple curiosity.

Justin sucks in a deep breath of courage and dives into the explanation. "At the time, my girlfriend had brown hair with streaks of color in it. She was smart but rebellious. She was, frankly, too cool for me, but she actually liked me no matter how much of a dork I am."

Mona smiles. "I think you underestimate yourself. So, she resembled your sister?"

"Not really. I thought it was a coincidence that my sister also happened to have color streaks in her brown hair. And the same attitude."

"Hm. No wonder your sister interjected herself into your relationship. She probably felt like she was being replaced even more."

"Then why did she help me so much?"

"Because she's still your sister, and while she might make fun of you, I doubt she honestly wants to see your relationship fail."

Justin nods. "Okay, sure. Well, my girlfriend and I dated for nearly a month before I realized she was so much like my sister. After school, she came to meet me, and from the side, I thought she was my sister. It just, I don't know. It was only a split second, but it still freaked me out. So even though I liked her, I broke up with her. I didn't even tell anyone, they just assumed something happened. So, that's it."

"Uh huh. And what do you think of that in light of your current situation?"

"I hate it. I hate that I chose a girl so much like my sister, and no one said anything. I wouldn't have noticed. And my sister helped me kiss her. It's just so wrong." He groans and leans back against the booth seat, making the vinyl squeak.

"It's not such a big deal," Mona says. "Most people actually try to find partners with qualities they like, qualities they are familiar with. Where do you think these qualities come from? Family members. Most people never notice."

"But not everyone does that."

"No, but you know they say the exception proves the rule."

"Who says that?" Justin laughs.

Mona shrugs. "Professionals, I guess. So, does this incident with your first girlfriend lead you to believe you did it on purpose?"

He shakes his head. "No." Then he glances out among the other patrons laughing and having a good time, oblivious to the internal torture happening in the corner of the room. "Maybe. I don't know how long I've liked my sister without realizing it was in such a wrong way. Maybe it was all subconscious. Maybe nothing would have happened if my mom hadn't said something about it."

"You can't go back now, so there's no way to tell."

A dangerous thought sparks in the back of Justin's mind. No, no. One of the Wizard Rules forbids wizards from tampering with time. Of course his family has never been good at following rules. Still, it is completely out of the question, and Justin locks the idea in the dark recesses of his mind never to be touched again

"Justin? You okay?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"No problem. Can I ask, how did it make you feel when you thought your girlfriend was your sister?"

He would really rather block out the memory instead of analyze it, but if he can't do that, then he is simply wasting his and Mona's time. He thinks about seeing Miranda out front of the Sub Station last year, and god she really did look just like Alex in that moment. He doesn't actually remember much else besides the warmth in his chest that made him smile and almost call out her name. The wrong name. Then he realized his mistake, and even now all he feels is the cold choking the breath out of him.

"Justin, we don't have to talk about it." Mona's warm hand slides across the table to rest on his forearm, a gentle point of contact that pulls him from his thoughts.

His tongue feels too heavy as he pushes out the words. "I was happier at the thought of seeing my sister than my girlfriend. How can I be so messed up? How could I not know?"

"Oh, Justin. You have to stop beating yourself up over this. You haven't done anything to be ashamed of, and you have to accept that people have no control over their feelings. We can't control who we are attracted to or who we fall in love with. It's human nature. And it's bound to cause problems."

"Guess you'll never be out of work," he says, giving her a tremulous smile that falls into a clenched jaw.

"You'll be okay, Justin. I believe in you." She pats his arm before withdrawing back into her own space. "So, have your dating habits changed now?"

The non sequitur throws him off. "Um, I don't know. I haven't thought about it."

She raises her brow at him.

Okay, maybe he simply doesn't want to admit it. He sighs. "I pretty much only look at blondes now."

Mona laughs. "Oh, Justin, sweetie. That's no good. You're severely limiting yourself."

Justin rolls his eyes. "It's not like I've been looking at too many girls lately."

"Maybe you should." With a start, she checks her wristwatch. "I don't want to leave you hanging like this, but I have an appointment at five. Going back to what you told me earlier, I think you should find more things that hold your interest to help keep your mind off unwanted subjects. Try some new hobbies. Maybe meet a nice girl. Who isn't your sister." She ends with a playful wink, and Justin shakes his head with a weary but amused smile.

"Gee thanks, big help." When she stands to go, he says, "No, really, thank you. Without you, I would keep this all bottled up and probably go truly crazy."

"You've said that before." She gives him a kind smile. "But really, you are the only one helping yourself, Justin. You have a good head on your shoulders. Don't forget that in your haste to fix yourself."

She waits to pay the bill at the counter.

"Same time next week?" Justin asks. "On a Friday, I mean."

"Oh, I forgot to tell you." She whirls around with a concerned expression. "I'm going to be gone next week to a conference in California. After that, I don't know when I'll be back." She hesitates. "I was considering taking an offer to lecture at a traveling seminar."

Justin's stomach flutters, and he can only say, "For how long?"

"Three months."

He thinks he keeps a straight face, but he must be mistaken because she tells the busy man behind the counter to keep the change and leaves the money folded in an empty glass. Then she takes Justin by the arm and guides him to the street.

"I got the offer before I met you, Justin."

"It's okay, I understand," he says quickly. "It's a great opportunity for you."

"It is," she agrees. "But I don't want to abandon you."

"I'm not your responsibility. You don't need to rearrange your life to help me when I'm not even paying you."

Mona stops on the corner, waiting for the signal to change. "Suddenly I feel like a whore."

Justin flushes. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean—"

"No, I know. I can refer you to someone if you feel like you need weekly in-person meetings."

"I can't talk to anyone else about this. I feel comfortable with you. I can wait until you get back, if you still want to help me."

"Of course I do." They cross the street, and on the other side, she continues, "I'm not cutting off contact with you if I go. You can call me, and here—" she digs in her purse, pulling out a case of business cards. With a pen, she sloppily writes on the back of one card. Justin steers her around other pedestrians until she hands him the card.

"This is my personal e-mail where you can always reach me."

He can't stop his smile. "Freudgirl83?"

"Hey, I was a young psychology student, what do you expect? This way you can keep me updated with what you're doing and any developments with your sister."

"Developments?"

She doesn't answer him. "I'm late for my appointment."

"Sorry. Thank you for doing this, I appreciate it."

"I know." She smiles and turns her back. "Talk to you later, Justin."

He watches her go into the building, then pockets her card and heads for the subway. He rides to Waverly Place in a daze, trying not to panic. He supposes he got too used to the meetings with Mona, anyway. Always relying on her having free time and taking his calls when he has almost given in to his feelings. He has been selfish the past few weeks, but no more.

When he gets home, he goes to his room and sends Mona a simple e-mail message that reads:

_Thank you for today. Have fun at the conference._

Then he goes and helps at the Sub Station until closing. Justin thinks he notices Alex staring at him every time he brings an order to a customer's table. She doesn't say anything until they are on the couch waiting for dinner.

"Library again?" she asks.

"No, I met up with a friend."

"Not-a-date girl?"

"Yes."

"Then why are you smiling?"

"What? I'm not."

"You are. Did you kiss her yet?"

"Alex, shut up," he hisses, checking over his shoulder to check that Jerry and Theresa didn't hear. "Why won't you listen to me? She's just a friend who respects me enough to actually listen to me and have a conversation with me." He can't help his biting tone because once again she is sitting too damn close and it is getting to him.

"What is this?" she asks, crossing her arms in an obvious pout.

"Feels like an interrogation," he says. "Why do you care?"

"I don't."

They fall into silence, and this isn't what he wanted. Why can't he just control himself around her? He sighs, keeping in mind everything he discussed with Mona about Alex's motivation for her recent behavior.

"All right, Alex, if you want to talk to me, I'm going upstairs for a while."

She snorts in dismissal, but when he gets up, he hears her light footsteps following. It is enough to make him smile as he climbs the stairs. He goes into his bedroom and sits on his bed to pull the textbooks and notebooks from his backpack. He pretends like he isn't watching Alex casually inspect the collectibles on his shelves.

"I better not find anything missing," he says.

"Like I want any of your dolls."

"Action figures."

"They look like dolls. Does your girlfriend collect dolls? Is she a nerd, too?"

"I don't know if she's a collector. She's highly intelligent, if that's what you mean by nerd." He opens his Calculus textbook to his homework problems, but he closely watches Alex's reaction when he adds, "And she's not my girlfriend."

Alex turns to him with an unreadable expression. "Whatever you say."

She doesn't say anything else, and Justin wonders if there was something on her mind or if she never even wanted to talk at all. Maybe she does only want to spend time together. The notion does little when Alex sits beside him, stretching out her legs alongside his.

Her body is lined up with his. Perfectly too intimate as always. Justin tries to shift his focus from her body to something more appropriate.

"Are we good?" he asks.

"Good?" Alex looks at him, but her face is so close, he settles for staring at his Captain Jim Bob Sherwood figure on the opposite wall.

"You and I. We've been having some problems ever since your birthday, and I just-"

"Ugh, please, don't make this all sappy."

"I'm just saying, Alex. We've always been close, and it's hard when we're both growing up."

"You're starting to sound like Mom."

Justin stops trying. "She talked to you?"

"Yeah, last month. I get it. Teenagers, hormones, blah blah blah."

A strange thought occurs to him. One that makes the knot in his stomach coil tighter than ever. Maybe Theresa had the same conversation with Alex that she had with Justin. Maybe that's a possible explanation for her recent behavior –- she was freaked out by the idea. Their conversations over the weekend flash through his mind. All of Alex's pondering about incest. Her conclusions about incest. Oh god, no.

He can't start assuming things like that. It is only his own insane wishful thinking, and it isn't good for him.

Justin almost jumps out of his skin when Alex leans her head on his shoulder, and he quickly moves away to stand near his desk.

"Sorry, Alex, but I have homework and things to finish before the field trip this weekend." It is the best excuse he has.

Alex glances at the books on his bed then back to him. "The field trip? Okay."

But she doesn't move. Not until Theresa calls up the stairs that dinner is ready. Alex walks out the door without another word. Justin sits at his desk for a moment and checks his e-mail. He ignores his slightly trembling hand on the mouse.

He finds Mona responded to him:

_I'm not leaving until next week, but thank you. I enjoy being able to help you, so keep in touch with me. I'll call you if I decide to take the position in the seminar._

He opens a new message to reply to her. He wants to tell Mona about Alex's possible conversation with their mother, but instead he writes:

_I appreciate everything you do for me. I look forward to your call because you better take the position. Also, I talked with my sister._

He stops typing when he hears footsteps outside his door. He turns to see Alex.

"Mom wants you downstairs. By the way, do you have the answers to the History homework?"

Justin shakes his head. "Not a chance."

Alex groans and walks away, and again, things feel normal between them.

Justin adds: _We're __good_ to the message before hitting the send button. After today, Justin feels like he better knows how to handle the changes between him and Alex. He can actually see things getting better, easier for him now. Maybe. As long as he can keep his feelings for Alex under control and his thoughts focused on productive activities. He has to walk the fine line between being the brother Alex needs and keeping an acceptable distance that won't get him into trouble. Because it may be a lie that Justin's life does not revolve around Alex, but he sure as hell is going to try to make it true.


	15. Chapter XV

**A/N:** It's my birthday, so I thought I'd give my readers a present. I hope it's worth the wait (There's some UST with the angst this time around). This has been a really tough year for me. I've spent most of the year taking care of family members who either got sick or had surgery. Then I had surgery, and I've spent the last few months recovering. But now I'm trying to take back control of my life through my writing. Should be fairly regular updates from here. Remember to check my LJ or Twitter for progress reports (Links in my profile).

On top of the delay, I also apologize because I kind of lost my motivation for this story after season 4 and the less-than-stellar series finale. But I do want to finish this story, as long as people want it (Are people even reading WOWP fics anymore?). I have it planned to be about 25 to 30 chapters, total. So we're about halfway there. Thanks for hanging in with me so far. This chapter marks where I'll be referencing canon moments from the series, and there will be more time skips from here on out. I tried to make them as unobtrusive as possible, but as always, if you spot any errors or things that can be improved, let me know.

**Disclaimer:** Nearly another year passes, and I still don't own WOWP. Not surprising.

* * *

For a few minutes, Justin is afraid he and Alex are in trouble. They missed their curfew after the art museum field trip, and as soon as they walk through the door, their parents ask them to sit down. Justin can't help his fast-beating heart while he sits next to Alex, wondering if they will be punished. Instead, it is just the Russos being the ridiculous Russos, and after Theresa fails to walk through the closed front door, she and Jerry go upstairs in an awkward and embarrassed silence. Even Max goes to his room before Theresa can remember to ground him. This leaves Justin and Alex sitting in confusion together on the couch. Alone.

"What the heck was that?" Alex finally questions.

"I have no idea." Justin gets up, going to the kitchen.

"At least they didn't notice we were late."

"No kidding. They could have at least saved us some dinner."

"What, they ate all the soup? So what are we supposed to do?"

Justin shrugs and looks in the fridge. "No leftovers, for once."

"Of course."

"Want to go downstairs and make sandwiches?"

"You mean, do I want to watch you make our sandwiches?"

"What else." It's not even a question because he had expected her response. This is Alex, after all.

Justin leads the way to the dark Sub Station, turning on the kitchen light as he goes.

"What do you want?" he asks.

"Pastrami with mustard and pickles. Lots of pickles."

Justin starts on the sandwiches while Alex draws back the window shutters so she can watch him from where she takes a seat at the counter as if she were a customer.

"Why did you come back for me?" she asks out of the blue.

"What do you mean, Alex? You called me."

"Yeah, but you left me with that handout I knew nothing about. You knew I would struggle with it."

"First of all, I've been working on that handout for Ms. Merinovich for three days. It's your fault if you never noticed." Justin walks through the swinging door to slide a sandwich plate in front of Alex, then he sits opposite her. "Second, you know I'll always come for you when you're in trouble."

"Yeah," she quietly agrees, eyes soft in a small smile, before she takes a bite of the sandwich.

"Plus, you saved me from Harper's peach-pit engagement ring, so it was only fair—"

Alex snorts in laughter that gives way to a wet choking.

"Do I need to give you the Heimlich again?" Justin briefly panics.

She shakes her head, but her cheeks turn red.

"What about mouth-to-mouth?" He doesn't know what makes him say it. Okay, no, that's a lie. He just doesn't know why he says it out loud.

But it helps dislodge the food in Alex's throat as she coughs it up, and Justin realizes she is laughing at him.

"You're such a dork," she manages out, wiping at her watery eyes.

Justin smiles, a warm feeling settling in his chest. He gets a soda from the refrigerator, vaguely wondering why Alex won't stop devouring the sandwich for a single moment even after choking on it.

"Did you know humans are the only animal that can choke while it eats?"

Alex gives him a dull roll of her brown eyes. "Nobody needs to know that, Justin."

He shrugs, thinking of what else they can talk about before Justin can make this situation awkward. "Did you have fun at the museum, learning things and all?"

"It wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I liked Mona Lisa. She was pretty cool."

Justin smiles again, thinking about his Mona and what she might say to him in this situation. Maybe he should send her an e-mail to let her know he is actually doing okay. It's only been three days since he last saw her, but still. Progress. The proof is that he's sitting with Alex, and they are simply Justin and Alex.

It's nice. And he really wants things to stay that way.

Which is exactly why for the next week Justin throws himself into the annual Tribeca Quiz Bowl, hoping that any leftover time and energy won't be so focused on Alex.

Of course, that doesn't really happen when he sees Alex at the set up for the Quiz Bowl. He would wonder what's wrong with her, actually showing up to a school function, but then he sees her flirting with Dean Moriarty. Okay, that Dean is the coolest guy in school, a bad boy, bothers Justin. But he can't decide if it's due to his brotherly protective instincts or the other thing, and it's going to drive him crazy.

So Justin makes enough study note cards to cover the state of New York, and even Zeke wonders why Justin is studying so hard when their Yellow Team is already going to beat Harper's Maroon Team. But then Alex is suddenly on Harper's team, participating in the competition, and what the hell?

Alex never studies. Which is why Justin gives her his special study cards. Not because he wants Alex to lose but because he wants to give her a fighting chance against his team of brainiacs.

Of course, he doesn't expect her to do so well that he can't even think to reach for the buzzer before Alex is answering the questions. Now, he knows she is smarter than she pretends to be, just like Max, but this is too much.

Justin doesn't know why he is surprised that Alex is wearing Smarty Pants. Maybe he didn't expect her to be paying attention to the Wizard Lesson he covered for Dad, but it turns out that she didn't pay attention to the directions at all. Justin is frustrated with her, but he figures getting skeleton legs in front of a crowd, including her crush, is embarrassment and punishment enough.

So he sits with Alex outside Mr. Laritate's office while they wait for their mom to come in for a meeting with the Principal.

"I can't believe you cheated," he whispers.

"Oh, let it go already," Alex grumbles.

"I can't because Harper has my trophy."

"She still could have won."

"Not without the help of magic. And my amazing study cards."

Alex suddenly straightens from her slouch as Dean walks by with his posse in tow, slowing down only to smile at her. Justin hates Dean's sexy smirk. It's not sexy at all.

"Mom and Dad will never let you go out with him," he says, nodding towards Dean's retreating back.

"Who says I want to go out with him?"

"Only the flirty looks you've been giving him for two days." He hopes he's imagining his jealous tone.

Alex gives him a sidelong glance, but only crosses her arms and leans back against the wall.

There is a buzzing from his pants, and Justin takes out his cell phone. He smiles at the caller ID as he moves across the hall to answer.

"Hi, Mona."

"Hi, Justin. How are you?"

He knows there is more to the greeting than just a general pleasantry. He looks at Alex, and he knows what his answer should be, but he can't talk about it so close to his sister.

"I'm doing okay," he says, turning away to face the lockers.

"Is that it? Okay?"

"I'm not alone."

"Oh, I see."

"I'll e-mail you tonight. So, how was your conference?"

"Good. I had fun. That's why I am taking the position on the seminar."

Something small and painful clenches inside him. "I knew you would. Good for you."

She hums, a soft sound he barely hears. "I still feel bad leaving you so suddenly. I hope you're not mad."

Justin forces out a laugh that actually sounds happy. "How could I be mad at you? No, I'm glad you're going."

"Well, if I'd known you were that eager to get rid of me, I would have left a while ago." She laughs, and he feels like they're old friends. "Anyway, if you're busy, I'll send you an e-mail. Get back to me when you can."

"All right, sounds good. I'll talk to you later, Mona." He hangs up and nearly jumps out of his skin when he turns around right into Alex.

"Who's Mona?" she asks.

Crap. "My friend, Alex. Why?"

She narrows her eyes at him. "No reason, I guess. Mom's here."

"Then I'll wait outside." Justin escapes as quickly as he can because, damn it, he doesn't want Alex to know about Mona. He doesn't want anyone to know about Mona. Too many questions he can't answer. And he doesn't like lying to his family.

It turns out, Justin only has to wait for a few minutes. Mr. Laritate couldn't prove that Alex really cheated or did anything wrong during the Quiz Bowl, although he did reprimand her about seemingly disrobing in public. And of course, Alex doesn't get punished, not even when Theresa finds out about the Smarty Pants.

Their mom's reaction? To ask if she can borrow the leggings for her next book club meeting, so she can upstage all the other men and women. Justin can only sigh and silently bemoan his life.

Once they all get home, Justin hides in his room to read Mona's e-mail:

_Hey, I'm lecturing on the effects on children whose parents are bipolar. It's an interesting topic, if you know anything about it. Want to tell me what you couldn't on the phone before?_

He sighs, then types out a quick reply:

_I tried to focus on a school competition, but of course my sister managed her way into something that should just be mine. As always. Then I realized I'm jealous that she's been flirting with this guy from school. I hate myself._

Justin settles down on his bed, awaiting her response. Due to his participation in the Quiz Bowl, his teachers haven't given much homework for the past few days. He would be grateful for the break if he weren't so desperate for something to keep his attention away from Alex.

He picks up the book from his night stand and starts reading. His eyes droop after only a few minutes, and before he knows it, he is asleep. The thing is, Justin can't escape his subconscious that keeps creating dreams about Alex. Something about a couple weeks ago when he felt Alex's hands on his waist, and he imagines her small hands sliding up his chest under his shirt, and he almost can't breathe.

He is startled awake by movement at his side, and when he blearily sees Alex hovering over him, he cries out and rolls away from her. Right off the side of the bed.

"Dude, what is your problem?" She comes around the foot of the bed to look at him.

He groans and smashes his face into the soft carpet, grateful he's on his stomach and Alex can't see his little problem.

"We're voting on dinner. I want pizza, so you better say pizza."

Justin adjusts his face so he can talk. "No way, Alex. You always want pineapple on yours."

"If we split one, you can get half with only cheese or whatever dorks eat."

"Fine. I'll be down in a minute."

She doesn't move for a moment, as if she might actually wait for him.

"You can get out of my room now," he says, sounding more irritated than he actually is. Really, he just wants his semi-erection to go away already.

Alex doesn't say a word, and he listens to her footsteps as they vibrate on the floor beneath him. When his door closes, he finally moves back to sit on his bed. That was too close of a call, and he prays that Alex didn't notice anything. She would undoubtedly be teasing him if she did.

He spots a notification on his computer, checking to see that Mona did respond to his e-mail:

_Don't hate yourself, Justin. After what we last talked about, I'm not surprised your sister ended up where you least expected or wanted her to be. I'm glad you recognize your jealousy, though, that's a good step forward. Do you have something else to be keeping you occupied?_

He thinks about it before typing: _No. Have any good hobbies to recommend?_

After he realizes he's being selfish in this conversation, he adds: _By the way, I like your topic for the seminar. I bet it's fascinating psychologically. Do those kids turn out more screwed up than me?_

Without another thought about it, Justin goes downstairs. Jerry and Max are on the couch watching some nature survival show. Max roots for the crocodile to win, despite the fact that there is only a bear onscreen. Jerry tries to explain, but Max only says, "Yeah, but if there were a crocodile, I'd want it to win."

Justin shakes his head in amusement as he sits beside Alex at the counter where she is lazily flipping through a magazine.

"You know, I would participate in more school functions if I knew it meant less homework," she says.

"That's not why I do it." He glances over at the article she's reading, _How to tell if the boy you're crushing on likes you back_.

Alex quickly flips the page, and Justin watches her cheeks flush with color. He ignores what it does to his body and looks for a change in subject.

That is when Theresa comes in from the basement, rubbing her forehead. "Max, how many times do I have to tell you to check your pants pockets before I do laundry? There's sticky candy residue everywhere!"

"Sorry, Ma!" is the only reply she receives. Theresa rolls her eyes, turning toward her older children. "You, too, Justin. I hope there wasn't anything important on this paper besides this Mona's e-mail address."

Justin snatches the wet and worn information card, thanking the heavens that the professional information for Mona's therapeutic practice is mostly illegible.

"Dude, nobody e-mails anymore," Max calls. "You couldn't get her number?"

Justin clenches his jaw. His twelve-year-old littler brother has no right to heckle him about girls.

"He already has her number," Alex says, simultaneously sticking up for him and making things worse.

"Oh?" Theresa says, voice turning sly. "Who is this Mona? Your girlfriend? We haven't met her yet?"

"That's because she's only a friend," he says.

"Tell us about her, son." Jerry joins his wife, his hand around her waist as they stand at the counter, waiting for him to say something. Anything.

He swallows and shoots a rather heatedly mean look at Alex. "There's nothing to tell."

Then he hops off the stool and heads back upstairs to his room. Justin knows he's horrible at keeping secrets, but really, does the universe have to be against him on this one?

He pulls a pillow over his head and tries to relax. It only takes a few minutes for him to be bothered. It has to be a new record.

"Suffocation? Really, Justin, I thought you were above that."

Never in his life has he wished so hard that Alex would just leave him alone. Something hot is placed on his stomach, making him yelp and sit up, swiping at whatever it is. Alex is quick enough to save him from flinging the pizza slices across his room.

"Damn it, Alex! That burned me!" He rubs at his tender stomach before he stands, taking the hot plate from her hand and putting it on his night stand.

"Don't be such a baby, it wasn't that hot." She reaches forward, pulling up his shirt with the hand that isn't holding her own plate of pizza slices. Her hand is too warm, but at the same time it feels cool against the slight burn, and she has his muscles jumping to attention. "Oh, I guess your stomach is a little red."

When her fingers move higher, Justin's heart climbs up, rapidly beating in the hollow of his throat. He catches her wrist but doesn't remove her hand. He wants to, but he can't, not while his traitorous mind brings up images from his eerily similar dream. He can't let her go because he just needs to pull her closer.

"What are you doing?" His voice is heavy with a feeling he doesn't want to analyze right that moment because he's not even sure exactly what he is asking her.

Alex's fingertips blaze hot trails on his skin as they curl into her palm. Her dark eyes are intense, and her full mouth is parted like she's deciding how to answer him.

"What are _you_ doing?" she counters, all blatant challenge, but Justin can still see the vulnerability hiding behind her shield.

"I asked you first." And so begins another of their childish arguments because he doesn't want to let go. He lets his thumb rub circles on the smooth, soft skin of her delicate wrist.

Alex's eyes flick down to their hands. "You're such a baby, I had to make sure I didn't really burn you."

Her tone is mocking, but she won't look at him again.

"Alex—"

Her eyes are quick as lightning then, freezing the words in his clenched throat. Words he might have regretted saying, if his desperate tone was any indication.

"What, Justin? What do you want me to say?" She is just as desperate then, in a way he's only seen when she needs him to save her.

But he can't. He can't do anything. Because he doesn't know what she wants him to do, and they could be stuck in this stalemate until one of them gives in to dangerous consequences. And he knows where this is going on his end, and if anything, he can save her from himself.

"Nothing," he eventually says, releasing her hand and pulling down his shirt. "Thanks for the food."

It is a curt dismissal, and he hates being this way to her. Maybe he can blame it on being disappointed that he didn't win the Quiz Bowl, thanks to Alex's cheating ways. But really, he's too frustrated with himself. That he can't read Alex well enough to know what she needs right now because he can only think about himself and his own selfish, twisted desires.

"Whatever," Alex says after a moment. She is more composed and back behind her practically impenetrable defenses. "Let me know when you're done PMSing."

She storms out of his room, and he listens to her footsteps until they fade. Then he laughs at himself. It is an ugly, miserable sound that only makes him feel bitterer.

He stands there for a minute. He feels so lost. He needs to talk to Mona. So Justin grabs his pizza and checks his e-mail. He barely tastes the warm tomato sauce and stringy cheese as he reads Mona's reply:

_Firstly, Justin, you need to stop thinking about yourself as being screwed up. You're not. Sure, your situation isn't normal, but you're not the only one in the world going through this. Just stop hating yourself for something that's out of your control. You'll feel better in time._

_Secondly, yes, my topic is psychologically fascinating. I hope you weren't being totally facetious because it's hard to tell in writing. :P I studied the effects of bipolarism in school, and I wrote many articles on it. One of my colleagues is interested in co-writing a book with me, since it is an issue that many children deal with. I have plenty of literature if you want to read more about it._

_Thirdly, I know you said you're not much of a sports guy, so I would try something that takes both physical and mental focus. Learn a new language while you exercise, haha. Learn to play an instrument and start a band. Find something new that interests you. And if you're still jealous about your sister's interest in a boy, I still suggest you look for a girl. She doesn't have to be your girlfriend if you're uncomfortable after your previous relationship. She can just be a friend who helps you get over your sister, if that's what you want._

_Anyway, Justin, I hope this helps you. I feel like I'm repeating myself, like my advice isn't as good in the written word as in person. Let me know what you think._

Mona put such time into her e-mail, Justin figures he can slap himself out of his funk in order to be polite to her. He finishes the pizza before he hits reply. He doesn't respond to the first part. He knows Mona is right, but he still has a difficult time not hating himself. So he moves on to the second part:

_I would like to read about bipolarism, but I think any current school workload is big enough. But I do hope you get to write a book about it to educate and support people who deal with the effects of it in their families._

Justin actually manages to smile as he types the next part:

_Thank you for the suggestions. Not only did they make me laugh, but they made me want to try them. I'm not sure about the girlfriend option yet, but I know what you mean. I guess I already feel like you're the friend I need. And now I feel like we're pen pals or something. You might need to repeat yourself to get me to listen, but I always appreciate your advice. So again, thank you._

He wants so badly to talk about what just happened with Alex, but he hasn't been able to figure out the right words to describe the intensity of their moments, the strange ones they keep having. He especially doesn't know what to say because he feels like he isn't the only one struggling in these moments. But he's afraid of what Mona might say, think. Like maybe he's going crazier because he wants Alex to feel something for him, too. He can't face that possibility. He isn't strong enough.

Instead, he writes: _When does the seminar start?_ As if that will make his problem go away, if he doesn't acknowledge it in writing to Mona. Then he hits send.

There is a knock on his open bedroom door. He spins his chair around to see Max in the doorway.

"Hey," he greets with an upward tilt of his chin.

Justin waves him in. Max sits on the edge of the bed across from him.

"Alex is really mad at you. She ate all your half of the pizza. And hers. She ate a whole pizza she's so angry at you."

Justin shakes his head at Alex's deplorable eating habits.

"Why are you guys fighting so much?" Max asks.

He doesn't expect the question. "We're not. Not really."

"I know, but this is different than your usual back-and-forth. But tomorrow you'll act like nothing happened."

For once, Justin wishes his brother was as dumb as he pretends to be. He certainly has his astute times, but Justin doesn't need that now.

"That's because nothing happened," he says. Yes, because Justin barely had enough self-control to keep himself from doing something he'd regret, like he came so close to before.

"I don't like it when you guys really fight. It doesn't feel right. Hey, that rhymed." And just like that, Max is back to laughing at himself and leaving Justin alone with his chaotic thoughts.

Another thing he doesn't need. So Justin spends the rest of the evening reading ahead in his English textbook, letting the sentence diagramming and linguistics lull him to sleep. When he wakes up in the morning with another hard-on over a dream involving Alex, he knows Max was wrong. Justin can't act like nothing happened, as much as he'll try. Because something keeps happening in his mind, and it has to stop. But now, thanks to Mona, Justin has a list of distractions that he prays will work. Because he can't pretend much longer.


	16. Chapter XVI

**A/N:** Sorry for the massive delay again, everyone. If you've followed my blog, then you know my life has been a shit storm for a while. I can't even. But I'm still writing, and I have more time at my new job, so the chapters will be coming more frequently from now on. As always, check my livejournal or my twitter for my writing progress updates. Also, you should count how many times I use the word jealous in this chapter, lol. Please enjoy, and let me know if there's anything I need to fix or improve!

**Disclaimer:** Dear god, it's been nearly six months already. I still don't own WOWP.

* * *

Justin sits outside on the terrace in the warm breeze that helps to dry him off. Even after taking a shower, he still smells like the potion that changed him from a werewolf back into a human – well, a wizard. And he feels like crap. His grip tightens on the towel around his neck.

"I'm such an idiot," he mutters, angry with himself.

"You got that right."

Justin startles at Alex's voice when she sits in the lounge chair beside him. Dealing with her is the last thing he needs after his day with Isabella went horribly wrong.

"What do you want, Alex? Come here to make fun of me some more? I already feel horrible enough as it is, so save it."

She doesn't say anything for a long moment, and he refuses to look at her.

"Listen, Justin, I'm sorry things didn't turn out the way you wanted. But you have to admit it was pretty funny that you didn't know your date was a monster. Again."

"It's not funny, Alex. I know you love making me miserable, so you were just thrilled to figure it out, right?"

"Dude, relax. It's not like it was going to last because you said you loved her after only a few hours."

Justin stands and stares down at her, a wave of rage welling up inside him. "Yeah? And you couldn't stand to see me happy for a single day!"

Alex stands as well, pushing him out of her way. "Oh, please. You didn't want to be a werewolf, Justin. You should be grateful I even brought Mom and Dad to save you."

"Grateful? Sure, I'm grateful that my sister was too jealous to mind her own business." The sad thing is, beneath all the anger and humiliation of the day, that twisted part of him completely means it as he regards his sister.

"I was not jealous!" she says with more heat than he thinks is warranted. "God, Justin, you're being a real jerk lately. Forget I said anything."

It doesn't take long after Alex storms out for guilt to crawl up his back, settling as a heavy weight on his shoulders. Familiar after the past months of tortuous feelings. Justin knows he overreacted, knows he lashed out at Alex because he's angry with himself. He can't even do one thing right in his life.

He only wanted to find a girlfriend so he could stop thinking about Alex so much. He figured a girl from the Wizard World would work out better, but it was disastrous like every other attempt at dating Justin has made in the past year. He shouldn't be surprised when it goes bad, but he always is. He tries too hard, wants too much too soon, and eventually makes an undeniably big mistake.

And this time, Alex was the one helping Justin out of a problem he created. Instead of thanking her, he accused her of being jealous when really he's the one who's jealous of her ease with relationships and growing attraction to the bad boy of the school. Really, that isn't fair to Alex because she had a rough breakup with Riley not long ago, and seriously, he just needs to apologize to her.

Justin leans his hands on the terrace railing as he looks down at the street below. There are a young man and woman holding hands as they walk together, and Justin wants that kind of life so much. He just doesn't know if he will ever get it.

"What the hell am I doing?" he asks himself. "What is wrong with me?"

Beside the obvious. Justin rubs his face, suddenly feeling very tired. He goes inside, drops his towel in the laundry room, and heads upstairs. He pauses outside Alex's closed bedroom door, where he can hear her loud, angry music, though it's nowhere near as rough as Tears of Blood. He wants to apologize right then before the hurt can fester, but he figures it will be better if he and Alex take some time apart and maybe cool off.

At least, it will be better for him to put some distance between himself and this horrible evening. He finds stress relief in recounting the events in an e-mail to Mona, leaving out some of the major magical details, of course. He waits for a response, but when one doesn't come in the next two hours, Justin settles in to read the chapters for History that aren't even due until next week. It makes him feel productive in some part of his life.

In the morning, Mona still hasn't responded to him, and he's feeling a little lost without her advice and guidance. So he takes a hot shower and tries not to think about anything or anyone in particular as he gives himself a little more stress relief and pleasure. He feels good, relaxed, as he towels himself dry. Then he puts on the soft robe Alex bought him as a replacement and steps into the hall.

And of course, Alex chooses that moment to come out of her room in pajamas that Justin can only describe as a damn negligee, and he seriously has a problem. He blames the cool air for the eruption of goose bumps across his flesh.

"You better not have hogged all the hot water," she grumbles as she moves to pass him.

He gently grabs her arm to keep her beside him. "Listen, Alex, I want to apologize for last night. You know I wasn't really angry with you, and I shouldn't have yelled, so I'm sorry. I'm glad I'm not a werewolf, so thank you for helping me."

Alex cocks an eyebrow. "Yeah, well, you were being an idiot. And I guess I owed you one."

"One? Alex, you owe me like a hundred."

"No, I'm pretty sure we're even."

"Not even close. Do Mom and Dad know you're wearing a risqué lace nightgown that belongs in a Victoria's Secret catalogue?"

Her cheeks flush with color, the image going with the heat in his stomach. "You should know – you spend enough time looking at them."

Justin manages to not sputter. "Oh? Is that why you bought it, then?"

He gasps as soon as the words leave his mouth. Shit. He watches the color in her skin travel down her neck and chest before he snaps his eyes back to her face.

Alex pulls out of his grasp as she gestures her hands in a circle over his chest. "I'm not talking about this when you're naked."

Justin recovers from his mistake rather well, he thinks. "What? I'm wearing the robe you gave me."

She starts walking toward the bathroom before he finishes talking. He finds it in himself to laugh.

"You know, Alex, under clothes, everyone is naked."

"Gross!" she calls back over her shoulder.

And Justin most definitely isn't watching her ass before the bathroom door closes. Damn it. Apparently, he can no longer even trust his mouth to not say inappropriate things to his sister. Of course, he wants to believe Alex didn't understand the intention behind the words. He knows she isn't stupid, though, especially after her fantastic blush.

But he needs to pretend she didn't understand for his own sanity. Justin takes refuge in his room for nearly an hour, at least until he hears Alex go back in her room.

His silent freak out only gets worse when he sees Mona has responded to his e-mail:

_Justin, I know you probably don't want to hear it, but from what you've told me, I think your sister was envious of your new relationship. This could perhaps be due to her not having a boyfriend at the moment. Or it could be due to her not wanting to lose you to another girl, someone who will take your attention away from her._

_I'm sorry things didn't go well with the girl, Isabella, but I'm glad you tried to get yourself out there. How are you handling your feelings now, after last night?_

Right now, he's really not handling anything. Justin can't decide if he should tell Mona about his slip-of-the-tongue and Alex's response. At this point, nothing is going to make him feel better or help him forget all the reasons why Alex might have been jealous of his girlfriend – reasons that Justin wants to be more than what they are. He's so damned messed up that he can only try to keep ignoring everything. That's a logical response, he's sure.

He types a quick response to Mona:

_Thanks, I'm actually doing great right now._

It's a total lie, and she'll most likely see right through it, but for now, he just has to get out of his head for a while.

Justin goes downstairs to the basement, hits his head on the piping, and grumbles curses to the air as he starts moving the old junk away from the family's "home gym," which is really nothing more than a treadmill used as a makeshift laundry hanger. The treadmill is dusty, but it still runs well, considering its limited use.

It fills the basement with a loud hum that he at first finds annoying, but after a few minutes of walking on the moving strip, he appreciates the sounds as an almost soothing quality when the hum fills up his body. When he starts running, Justin puts on his headphones to listen to music with a fast, pulsing beat that keeps him in time like a techno metronome.

He focuses on his steady breathing, his firm footsteps against the track, feeling the burn in his muscles, so rarely used in exercise by him. He runs for five minutes before the music in his ears fades to the back of his mind as his consciousness brings up images from the previous day and only a couple hours ago.

At the thought of Alex's flushed chest in her revealing nightgown, his heart lurches, disrupting its racing pace. He gets lightheaded and realizes he stopped breathing. With a curse, he slows down to a walk and gulps in half a bottle of water.

Well, that didn't work.

Justin changes his music to an audio book, and he tries again. He jogs while he listens to the narrator's deep, rumbling voice, but after a few minutes, he only catches about half of what the guy says, and he's unable to forget about his own solicitous words to Alex. _"Is that why you bought it, then?"_ The unspoken, _"For me?"_ lingers in his mind. God damn it.

He slaps off the treadmill and hops down, sitting on the workbench to the side. He can't do this. Even exercise can't preoccupy his mind long enough to stop thinking about Alex. Maybe there isn't a distraction big enough after the past couple days. Great. Now what?

He decides to move on to the next item on his Distractions From Alex list: learning a new language. He goes back upstairs to his room, getting out an old book on Spanish grammar and vocabulary – the book Jerry clearly never used when Theresa wanted him to learn in order to make a better impression on her Spanish-speaking family. Being a wizard who gave up his magic to be with Theresa is the only thing that saved Jerry from actually having to use it.

Justin starts in on the first chapter, but after five pages, he can't stand to be in his damp, sticky skin and clothes for a minute more. He grabs his robe and a fresh towel from the hall closet, then heads to the bathroom. He stops outside Alex's bedroom to see she is lounging across the foot of her bed, reading a magazine.

She tips her head back over the side, blowing a pink bubble with her gum as she looks at him. Thank god she's wearing her usual layers of clothes now. The bubble pops, and she noisily, messily brings it back into her mouth with her tongue. Justin doesn't tell her there is a small piece stuck to her upper lip because he wants to take it off with his teeth. So he looks at her purple carpet instead.

"Ew, why are you all sweaty?" she asks.

"I was running."

"From jocks?"

Justin rolls his eyes, a smile tugging at his mouth. "On the treadmill."

"Seriously? You hate stuff like that."

"No, that's you. I think it feels pretty good to exercise sometimes."

"And you're the smart one?" She snorts, and he realizes he's been staring at her without his brain's knowledge or permission. He pulls his eyes away from her throat when she swallows. Damn hormones.

He shakes his head clear and turns to walk out. Justin is at least grateful that he and Alex are back to normal. Well, as normal as they can be with as not normal as they are. Which is saying something. He thinks.

For almost two weeks, Justin is able to keep himself occupied. He purchases a Spanish language audio lesson to listen to while he runs on the treadmill and lifts his new set of hand weights. He finds it helps to have the learning parts of his brain activated while his body burns with the now familiar amount of exercise. So with the added bonus of actually learning one of the languages of his family, Justin feels better as his body gets healthier.

He has always been lean, but after two weeks, he has already started noticing a difference in his muscle tone. His legs and hips have slimmed even with the added strength from running. His waist has narrowed slightly, making his shoulders appear a bit broader, while his arms have started bulking up around his biceps. It's an incredible feeling, and he takes pride in his body even if he's not exactly showing it off.

After school one Thursday afternoon, Justin is lifting weights for an hour before his homework when Alex and Harper come downstairs to the basement, both girls rubbing their foreheads in pain.

"You guys really need to do something about that pipe," Harper mutters before being stricken to the spot when her eyes take in Justin, who is sitting on the workbench, intently focused on curling his arms with the weight, _not _onAlex, who is also unabashedly starting at his arms flexing. He almost regrets wearing a tank top, but he expected to be alone, and he shouldn't be this self-conscious simply because of his sister and her friend.

"I thought you were joking with the whole exercise routine," Alex says.

Justin gently drops one of the small dumbbells on the floor to pluck out the ear buds playing Spanish sentences he hasn't been able to hear since Alex came into view. "Well, I'm not. As you can see."

Neither of the two girls will stop staring at him, and what the hell. He can hear his homework calling far from wherever Alex may be. That sounds like a good idea. He stands up and turns his back on them, feeling like he can breathe a little easier that way.

"So, what are you two doing down here?" he asks, bending down to collect his hand weights and organize them beneath the workbench.

The first response he hears sounds like a jumble of words that devolve into a strangled whine. He glances over his shoulder, wondering if one of them is having a seizure or something. Harper's face is red, her mouth slightly agape, and Justin realizes she is dazedly staring at his ass.

He is immediately uncomfortable at the attention, but when he risks looking at Alex, all of his breath leaves his lungs. Her gaze his hot, her brown eyes churning with some unfamiliar emotion as they flit up to meet his own shocked grey eyes. Justin straightens and turns to face the girls, his heart beating as fast as if he had been running instead of leisurely lifting weights.

"I was taking a look at Dad's old car," Alex says slowly. "I told Dean he could work on it if he wants."

"Oh." He stands there awkwardly, not knowing what to say or how to feel. He needs to get the hell out of there. He skirts around Alex, giving her more space than necessary as he heads up the stairs, ducking to avoid getting a headache from the low-running piping.

He doesn't grab a snack from the kitchen like usual after exercising, instead choosing to take a quick, cold shower. He lets the water cool down his heated body and rests his forehead against the smooth tile wall, the condensation slipping over his skin. He doesn't know what happened in the basement, but he can't think about it without recalling Alex's burning eyes, the image making his lower groin tighten in a desire that threatens to consume him entirely.

God damn it. He had been doing so well lately, too. Now it feels like all his progress has been a lie he was so eager to believe. He needs to talk to Mona.

In the relative privacy of his room, Justin dresses in comfortable sweats and a light t-shirt before he lie on his bed. He cradles his cell phone to his chest, debating what to do. He can't bring himself to tell Mona about these strange, intense moments with Alex, especially not in writing. What could he possibly say? That he feels like their intense attraction doesn't come from him alone? Because he can't honestly believe that. Whatever has been happening between them, Justin is simply twisting it to fit his own desires. Clearly, thinking to himself isn't helping him any.

Justin takes up his phone, but before he can call Mona, there is a knock on his door.

"Yeah?" he answers.

"Can I come in?" Really, Alex has the worst timing ever.

"Sure," he says quietly.

As she enters, he sits up against his headboard, crossing his legs in front of him. She shuffles in, standing in the middle of his room and looking down at her bare feet, where she toes at the carpet. She doesn't say anything, and he can't just sit there being strangled by the tension.

So he says, "If you're here for homework help, I've got a ton of my own to do."

Alex looks up at him, a question in her eyes. "No, I just…" Her full mouth presses into a line before she laughs, an amused sound at odds with her serious demeanor. "You almost gave Harper a heart attack today."

He finds it in himself to laugh. Just the barest chuckle because he really doesn't find the situation humorous despite imagining Harper's silly, gaping fish face.

"Is that what it was?" he asks, fiddling with the phone resting on his thigh.

"Yeah."

"I don't know what was so surprising," he says, feigning ignorance of the nature of the girls' staring. "I know I don't exercise a lot, but now I do. It's normal. It's a normal thing to do. Well, maybe not in our family, but other people—" Justin cuts himself off after realizing he's starting to ramble.

He can see Alex shrug in his periphery. "I guess you were all sweaty in tight clothes, and she still totally has a crush on you, you know."

For a moment, he falters at her description of him, but then notices she is maybe trying to change the subject. He lets her, for his own sanity.

"So?" He regards her with steady grey eyes.

"So I thought maybe you were doing all this to try to impress her or something."

Justin huffs a laugh. "Alex, don't pretend you're not just as creeped out by Harper's crush as I am."

"Okay, yeah. Then someone else – like your girlfriend?"

It irks him that he knows who she means and she won't let it go. "I told you, she's not my girlfriend." His fingers idly rub over the smooth back of his phone, the sensation briefly distracting him. "Wait, are you saying I could impress a girl by doing all this? I thought you're always the first to tell me I'm going to end up alone because no girl will ever want me?"

"Well, duh. I didn't say you could, I said you would try. Big difference for a big dork."

"Okay, okay, I get it. Is that all you wanted? To remind me that I'm a loser with no game?"

Alex rolls her eyes at his word choice. "So why are you doing all this if not for a girl?"

Justin shrugs, then stands to face her. "I didn't say it wasn't for a girl. But it's mostly for myself. Why do you care so much?"

"I don't," she says too quickly. "I just—"

He watches her tug at the sleeve of her shirt in a way she hasn't for almost a year, a nervous habit. "Alex?"

"I guess I felt like you were avoiding me or something."

A chill of guilt runs down his spine. Of course he has been avoiding her more than usual, but he never expected her to care about, let alone even notice his absence. He remembers Mona suggesting Alex wanted to spend more time with him, and he should have guessed it earlier.

"I'm sorry," he says softly.

Something in Alex's brown eyes dims considerably. "So you have been avoiding me?"

"No, not particularly," he lies. "But I'm sorry you felt like I was. I've been focusing more on myself lately, and I guess I thought you'd be busy with Dean. Or something."

"Is that was this is about? You're jealous of me and Dean?"

Justin quickly averts his eyes to the floor, breathing deeply as he watches her toes scrunch in the carpet, and getting slightly distracted by the bright orange polish peeking from the bottom of her jeans.

"Maybe I am." He keeps his tone carefully neutral. "Okay?"

Alex is quiet for too long, and when Justin finally looks at her, she gives him a small, hesitant smile. "Well, if you'd actually take your girlfriend out on a date once in a while, you'd feel better."

He almost laughs, but gives her another eye-roll and a fond smile instead. "Alex."

She giggles. "Fine, at least ask a girl out, then."

She whirls around and is out of his room before he can say anything. He doesn't know how, but he narrowly missed messing things up again. And he had actually been honest, if vague. Feeling enlightened by this, Justin e-mails Mona and tells her about Alex's new boyfriend. He tells her that he is okay, dealing with it, and that he might be able to let go of everything if Alex is happy.

And that weekend, Justin is properly introduced to Dean. He is as handsome and dimwitted as Justin assumed. And the guy is nice. When Justin checks his grip as they shake hands, Dean doesn't do anything but flash him a happy, puppy dog grin. Justin kind of hates him.

"So, you're Alex's brother?" Dean asks.

"Of course. Didn't she tell you?"

"Nope. She only calls you Justin." He gives a bashful shrug. "I always thought you two were best friends or whatever. I mean, after Alex said she didn't have a boyfriend."

Justin doesn't really know what to say to that. "We have the same last name, you know."

"Huh. Didn't know that." Yeah, it must be Dean's good looks. Justin doesn't know what else Alex could see in the guy.

Then over the course of the day, he sees the way Dean looks at Alex with soft eyes, like she is special and he is lucky to have her. That makes Justin's heart ache because he wants to be able to take Dean's place, but he also can't help but be happy. Because Alex deserves someone who will appreciate and love her in the way Justin can't.

So he watches Alex awkwardly flirt with a boy who isn't him, and for the first time in a month, Justin feels like he didn't lie in his message to Mona. Alex is happy, and that is all that really matters.

Justin will eventually be fine with this because her happiness is enough. It has to be enough, he tells himself until he almost believes it. Almost, but never quite enough.


	17. Chapter XVII

**A/N:** Thanks for your patience once again, everyone! Hope you enjoy this chapter. We're picking up speed, only about eight chapters left. Next one will be up in two weeks.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own WOWP. Though I do like to play with the characters.

* * *

For the first time in the last three months, Justin's insecurities get the better of him, and he wishes he were adopted. It isn't the first time he's wished this in his life, with his parents being who they are. But he wonders how Theresa and Jerry could forget such important information for the birth of their first child, yet they remember the taxi Alex was born in. It only figures, really.

And beneath the hurt, he wonders if he could be adopted, actually wishes it for a moment before he stops himself from going down the path that leads to wanting Alex to return his feelings.

Besides, Justin knows the idea is ridiculous because he resembles portions of his parents' physical features and quirky behavioral patterns. And he does take some satisfaction in debating with Zeke about the qualities and influences of genetics and environmental upbringing.

"You do that weird stuttering thing when you're angry, just like your dad," Zeke says.

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure the stress of living with Alex brings out that trait in both of us."

"Oh, ha ha," Alex says from the kitchen. "I heard that."

"You were meant to."

"Uh huh, well you're not lucky enough to be adopted, Justin. And it's not like you're getting out of this family without me."

Justin grins at her from over the back of the couch. "Like hell you're tagging along with me. My plans don't include taking care of my annoying brat of a sister."

Alex feigns insult. "Who says you have to take care of me?"

"I don't know how you always manage to forget the times you beg me to get you out of trouble."

"I do not beg."

"Really? _Justin, I promise I won't put itching powder in your underwear drawer for a month if you—_" He stops mimicking a falsetto as he laughs at her halfhearted glare.

She comes over to lean her folded arms on the couch, her face precariously close to his. "Please, you know you would miss me."

"In your dreams, Alex."

Zeke laughs, reminding Justin of the world outside Alex's glittering brown eyes and mischievous smile. "See, you two are so similar, you have to be related. Or soul mates, right?"

Justin starts, jerking away from Alex to lean further into the arm of the couch. "What?"

"Siblings can totally be soul mates. If you believe in them, I mean, soul mates can be found in all kinds of relationships. And you both fit each other so well, like flipsides of the same coin. I think it's cool."

Oh god. Justin can feel his heartbeat fluttering in the base of his neck, and his face feels hot. He can't look at Alex. But he does. He needs to know what she thinks about Zeke's idea.

Alex gently bites her bottom lip before her eyes slide over to his, and he shivers. There is something deep and indeterminable in her gaze, and he doesn't know what to do with it until she suddenly smirks.

"Yeah, right. Like I'd want to be attached to Justin for eternity." She gracefully lifts herself away and heads up the stairs.

It takes Justin a few seconds before he realizes Zeke is laughing again. Justin lightly tosses a pillow at his face.

"It's not funny, dude."

Zeke then easily slips into a one-sided conversation about an upcoming clogging competition, while Justin fails to push away thoughts of Alex possibly being his soul mate. He really doesn't need any more reasons to reconsider his feelings than he has every time he so much as looks at Alex. But damn if the notion isn't tempting as hell, that there might be an unearthly reason to explain why Justin and Alex have always been different to each other. Really, they're wizards, so why couldn't it happen?

But these kinds of thoughts are dangerous, and Justin finds he apparently has time to spare to them. So one day after school the next week, he stops following Alex walking beside Dean, letting them continue to the Sub Station while Justin stops outside an independent shop perfect for the next hobby on his list of distractions.

He steps inside and inspects the carefully cared for instruments. He hasn't thought much about what he wants to play, he just knows he's worked hard to earn his money at the Sub Station, and he doesn't want to use magic for this. He doesn't want this to be easy.

There are two people behind the register counter, an old man with grey hair and soft lines around his brown eyes and across his forehead, and a young woman with long blond hair falling in smooth waves down her back. The girl smiles and holds up a hand in greeting. Justin nods then turns his attention to a row of gleaming silver flutes. Not really his style, if he has one at all.

"Hey, can I help you find something?"

Justin looks up at the gentle, quiet voice. The girl – Annie, her nametag says – gives him a friendly smile.

"Oh, um, yeah maybe. I don't know what I'm looking for, though. I want a fun hobby."

"I see. Well, learning an instrument isn't a piece of cake."

"That's what I'm hoping for. I like a challenge."

"Do you?" Her blue eyes sparkle with mirth, and Justin finds himself blushing. He hasn't thought about a girl besides Alex in a long time. Too long. Maybe it's time to rectify that.

Annie takes his hands in hers as she inspects his fingers. "Long fingers, good. Do you have control?"

It is suddenly difficult to swallow, but he manages a nervous smile. "I like to think so."

"Well, you look like a cool guy, so why don't we go look at the guitars?"

"You think I'm cool? I'm actually pretty geeky."

"A hipster, then." She giggles, and damn, she is actually flirting with him. He thinks. Justin isn't totally striking out. It feels good.

Annie leads him to the front corner of the store where a few dozen guitars rest along the shelves and walls.

"Where do I start?" he asks, feeling overwhelmed.

"How about acoustic or electric?"

"My mom has an old acoustic, so an electric, I guess."

"Okay. Looking to start a band?"

"Not really. Playing for myself."

"All right. So pick one you like and see how it feels in your hands."

Justin moves to do exactly that when one specific guitar catches his attention. He gently picks up one of a deep, vibrant red color. He runs his fingers over the smooth base and up the neck before he settles it against his hip. He tests his grip on the stem, pressing his fingers against the strings. He strums it with his thumb once, twice.

"Wow," he says. "This feels really nice."

"Seems made for you. A great instrument is like that. Want to check out some of the others? We have plenty of other models."

"No, I think I like this one fine."

"Then good choice. You buying today?"

"Yeah, I'll take it."

Fifteen minutes later, Justin leaves with his brilliant new guitar in a matte black case, along with a roll of extra string, a care guide, and a beginner's guide to playing. Oh, and Annie's phone number. When he opens the case in his room, he finds it written in a looping scrawl on the back of a card advertising personal guitar lessons, clipped to the stem of his guitar.

A silly grin tugs at his lips. He doesn't know if he will ever call her, but he feels like he needed the experience for a step forward, to getting over Alex, getting better.

Justin wastes no time sending another e-mail about the afternoon's productivity. He hasn't received a response from Mona for a couple weeks, but that's okay. He knows she is busy with her own work and responsibilities, and his problems, or lack thereof, aren't her main priority. And instead of starting his homework, Justin sits down with the playing guide and learns a few chords.

He is practicing his finger placement when he hears footsteps coming down the hall. His bedroom door opens, but there is no one in the hall. He absently strums, waiting for the other shoe to drop. As he watches the open doorway, Alex pokes her head around the doorjamb.

"Did I scare you?" she asks with a smile that crinkles her nose.

"Alex, you've been doing that since you were four years old. I think I'm used to it by now."

She moves around to lean her body against the side of the door. "You disappeared after school. I thought you might have gone to see your girlfriend."

Justin doesn't rise to the bait, rolling his eyes. "Did you really want me following you and Dean around?"

"Nope. So, what, you went to go buy a guitar? Do you think that makes you cool or something?"

"Not really. I just wanted something to do. Keep me busy."

"Like you don't have enough stuff with school, homework, geeky things with Zeke, working out for your girlfriend?"

"Alex," he warns despite not being angry. He shifts on the bed, drawing up his leg beneath him to further support the guitar in his lap.

"Well, you do have good taste, I guess."

"Thanks." He gives her a genuine smile before returning his attention to the red beauty in his lap. He continues practicing the chords, his fingers moving more quickly and easily into place with every repetition. It feels good to be good at something other than school and magic.

When he looks back at Alex, her gaze is intently focused on his hands. He strums one more chord, then smoothly slides his hand down the neck until he cradles the base against his stomach. He watches her dark eyes scan up his body until she startles at meeting his eyes.

She slowly averts her gaze as if she hadn't been caught awkwardly staring. She steps toward the bed, running her hand along the matte texture of the guitar case.

"I wonder what it is about musicians," she says almost absently.

"I wonder." He can't seem to take his eyes off her. She tucks a thick section of hair behind her ear, and he finally drags his eyes back to his guitar, ignoring her movements.

"Who is Annie?" she asks.

Justin jumps up and snatches the paper card out of her hands, hissing as he slices open his thumb.

"Ow, god damn it!"

"Sorry, but you didn't need to freak out like that, jeez."

Justin sucks on the pad of his thumb, tonguing the slight wound. When Alex's warm hand finds his shoulder, he shrugs her off.

"I'm fine. Can you just not go snooping in my private business for once?"

She gives him a hard look. "Well excuse me for not knowing a stupid business card was so personal. Give me a break, it's not like I care if you have a girl's phone number. Get over yourself."

She walks out of his room, leaving him wondering what happened once again. He's beginning to think she was born to confuse and frustrate him on so many levels.

For a few minutes, Justin carefully puts away his guitar. Then he stares at Annie's phone number, the paper stained with a spot of his blood. He lets the card fall into the trash bin.

At dinner that evening, Alex blurts out that Justin bought a guitar, and with a devious grin, she watches him squirm as he avoids Theresa's well-intentioned but ill-received, adamant offers of guitar and singing lessons. Damn it, and Justin still wishes he could kiss her arrogant smirk into a submissive, demure smile. Hah, even in his fantasies, the idea seems unlikely.

Despite Alex trying to ruin his fun, Justin keeps up with his busy schedule. His free time consists of working at the Sub Station, doing homework, hanging out with Zeke, exercising, or practicing guitar. Really, he doesn't have much free time at all, which means less disturbing thoughts about his sister.

He shouldn't be surprised that a couple weeks later, things change. Justin always knew he would need a backup plan for a career. The thing is, he never really considered what he would do if he didn't become the family wizard. There are subjects he excels at, like engineering and physics that could give him a fulfilling career. But ultimately, Justin figured he would be able to combine his skills and do great things in both the Wizard and mortal worlds.

Now that he actually has to make some kind of preliminary decision and show his capability to succeed in an alternate career, Justin doesn't know what the hell to do or say. And it certainly doesn't help that Alex keeps looking at him like her answer all depends on his choice. So, really, it also shouldn't be so surprising that Justin and Alex end up forming a band of sorts to play together. Because even their backup plans involve each other.

Alex magics up a drum kit and sets up in the living room. Unexpectedly, she only gives herself the skills to decently play the drums. Enough to keep up with but not outshine Justin's rudimentary guitar playing.

As much as he doesn't think this is a good idea, Justin has to admit that he has fun practicing and writing a song with Alex. They argue over the lyrics, rhythm, and melody. They laugh over all their mistakes.

It isn't remotely what Justin would have considered to be his backup plan, but he has so much fun, his heart feels lighter than it has in months. And now he can't imagine his future without Alex being involved in some way. Even though they'll probably never go into music together, he thinks maybe they can find something that will make them both happy. If they can ever actually agree on anything, of course.

After only a week of practicing, Justin and Alex's performance goes well. They work together in perfect harmony. Professor Crumbs approves of their backup plan. The crowd loves them, even though they turn out to be fakes. Leave it to Max to help Justin and Alex succeed and use it as his own backup plan. Smart.

Over all, the night is fantastic, and Justin feels amazing. He doesn't want the feeling to ever go away. Especially when he sees Alex fairly glowing with happiness.

Once the Sub Station has been cleaned up, Justin goes up to his room to put away his guitar, feeling like it was one of his best investments. He showers and dresses in his pajamas before sitting at his computer to send Mona another update e-mail. He finds himself absently smiling as he talks about the past week and the evening's events.

"What's making you so happy?" Alex's voice startles Justin, and he spins away from his computer after minimizing the e-mail window.

"Nothing much. I had a good time tonight."

Alex smiles brightly, eyes twinkling. "Me, too. We totally rocked it."

"Totally."

"Even with a nerd on the guitar." Her light tone belies her words, and she raises her hand for a high-five.

Justin leaves her hanging for a moment. "At least my skills weren't magicked up."

"Hey, that was all me." She shrugs. "Okay, mostly me."

He smiles and gently returns her high-five.

"Want to go get some celebratory ice cream?" Alex asks.

"I'm in my pajamas."

"So?"

Justin pretends to think about it for all of a second while Alex puts her hands on her hips. "Okay, okay, just let me get my slippers on."

"Oh god, you old man." Alex snorts, and pushes him away when he tries to pass her. "No, I'm not going with you now. Isn't it your bed time, old man?"

"I'll show you an old man." Justin swings his arm around her neck until she's bent over in a headlock.

"Seriously, I will punch you in your kidney!"

Justin laughs and releases her.

"Dang, you're a lot stronger than when I was twelve." Alex briefly squeezes his bicep before laughing.

"Yet you're still the same bratty kid." Their casual banter and teasing sparks a warmth in his chest, and he can't stop his smile from tugging at his lips.

Alex pouts up at him, but her eyes widen and her gaze falls as her cheeks flush. He doesn't know what caused it, but he clears his throat awkwardly. Things were going so well, he doesn't want to ruin it now.

"So, ice cream?"

"Yeah." Alex nods and leads the way down the hall.

Justin puts on his slippers, then catches up with her. He can't help himself when he reaches out to ruffle her hair. She squeals like a little kid and dashes away. He chases after her the whole way down the stairs and out the front door. They stumble over each other and nearly fall on the curbside closest to the small ice cream stand.

While Alex laughs and catches her breath, Justin asks for two single scoop cones, one chocolate, one mint chocolate chip. Then he pats his pockets and realizes that of course he doesn't have his wallet in his pajama pants. Justin is ready to run back in the loft to get money, when Alex leans toward the young man scooping the ice cream.

"Hey, we forgot our money. If you trade us, I'll give you a free sandwich at the Sub Station." She flashes him a flirty, dazzling smile.

The guy looks dubious, but he says, "A whole meal. Side and a drink included."

"Deal. Come in any time."

"Thank you," Justin adds, and the guy shrugs.

Justin and Alex walk along Waverly Place, mostly in content silence.

"Mmm, my favorite," Alex says offhand. "I'm surprised you remembered."

Justin swallows his bite of chocolate. "Why wouldn't I?"

Alex startles, blinks up at him like she forgot he was there. "Sorry, I…."

"What?"

"Thought you were someone else for a second."

"Someone else – who?"

Alex's face turns red, and she shoves more ice cream in her mouth. What she mumbles is distorted but clear enough that Justin stops in his tracks. He waits until Alex stops and turns around to face him.

"You thought I was Dean?" The words are hard to choke out through his tight throat.

Alex forcibly swallows so she can quickly say, "Only for a second."

Justin stares at the mint ice cream at the corner of her mouth while words fail him.

"It's not a big deal," Alex says. "It just kind of felt like when I was on a date with Dean."

Justin doesn't even understand why she feels the need to explain, but he has to change the subject before he has a heart attack at seventeen. "So Dean lets you flirt with other guys?"

It's the best he can do while still floundering. Alex looks relieved, anyway, before she picks up her chin and keeps walking. "Hey, I got us out of the situation, didn't I? Besides, he didn't even flirt back with me, so it doesn't count."

Justin matches his longer strides to her shorter ones. "Very true. He wasn't even interested."

"He could have been, you don't know." Alex fakes offense.

"Nope. He was totally in it for the sandwich."

"Men, always thinking with their stomachs." Alex smiles to herself before licking a line of ice cream off her wrist and hand.

Justin looks away, thankful the dark will hide his blush at the sight. He focuses on the last of his ice cream, biting into the crispy cone. They walk around all the shops that are closing for the night until they arrive back home.

Alex shoves most of her cone in her mouth as they walk in the door, so the rest of their family doesn't bug them about getting ice cream without them.

They part ways at their bedrooms where Alex says, "Thanks for tonight. For everything, not only the ice cream. I know you didn't want your backup plan to involve me, but I'm glad you let me, anyway."

Justin blinks, maybe a little in shock. "Well, I probably wouldn't have had as much fun without you."

She grins, bright. "Damn right."

Alex leaves to go take a shower, then, so Justin kicks off his slippers that are slightly scuffed from his run. He sees the notice of a new e-mail on his computer, suddenly nervous about getting a response from Mona. Her e-mail is rather short, though:

_Somehow, your backup plan doesn't surprise me. It sounds like you and your sister are doing well, which I'm very glad to hear. I'm proud of you for putting aside your feelings in order to spend time with your sister. I'm sure she appreciates your attention._

_I apologize for being busy, but I can't wait to hear more about your progress. I'm actually coming home a month early, so I'll see you in a few weeks. We should meet for lunch again._

One part of Justin is happy Mona is coming back. He misses talking with her in person. A second part of him is worried what she'll see in him when she returns. He doesn't always feel like he's progressed enough for her to be proud of him. Still, a third part of him feels like she's laughing at him for his circumstances, so he responds back that he can't wait to see her, and he hopes to get better every day.

Already, he feels like he and Alex are in a better place. She has a boyfriend, and he has plenty of distractions from her. Although tonight might have had a few rough patches, it was overall successful, he thinks.

Justin closes his e-mail and puts away some of his clothes and homework before he readies for bed. Then he goes downstairs to get a glass of water. He hears quiet voices on the last landing, but doesn't think anything of it until he sees Theresa and Alex sitting together on the couch. They're both drinking hot chocolate with plenty of marshmallows.

"How is everything with Dean?" Theresa asks, gently threading her fingers through Alex's wet hair.

"Good, I think. I haven't talked to him in a couple days."

"Oh? Why not?"

Justin knows he shouldn't be standing there, eavesdropping, but he's too curious. And maybe a little hopeful, even if he can't admit it.

"He's with his aunt and uncle this weekend, and I guess he's busy."

"That's understandable."

"Yeah." Alex is quiet until she says, "I've been thinking."

"About what?"

"What's it like to be in love?"

"Oh, mi querida, that's a tough question to answer at any age, let alone at fifteen."

"So how did you know Dad was the right one?"

"I think most times you just know. He made me laugh. He made me feel special. And I couldn't imagine my life without him anymore." Her words make Justin's heart warm, and he's sure they do the same to Alex, who settles her cheek against Theresa's shoulder.

"Is this about Dean?" Theresa asks.

Alex shrugs. "Dean and I are actually pretty different."

"Different can be good. Your father and I have our differences, but we have fun and get along in all the ways that count."

Justin really should leave, go back upstairs and pretend he didn't hear this conversation between mother and daughter. But his traitorous heart needs to know how Alex feels about Dean, still imagining that Justin would be better for her. It's sick, he's sick.

"I wish there was an easy way to know when you're in love," Alex says. "Maybe even a spell."

Theresa hums. "I always thought you could tell a lot by how you feel when you kiss a boy. Is there chemistry, passion, love? Most of all, there needs to be appreciation and respect."

"I kissed Dean a couple times," Alex confides quietly, while Justin's heart lurches and his chest tightens.

Theresa looks surprised but asks, "Now you don't know if he's right for you?"

Alex picks a soggy marshmallow from her hot chocolate, chewing it before she responds. "He's nice, though clueless sometimes. He can be funny, but we don't always get each other's sense of humor. And when we kiss it's…okay. And I guess I was expecting the toe-curling passion from movies. I didn't get that."

Theresa raises an eyebrow in a way that makes her resemble Alex. "You're young. You can't expect to find everything you want in your first few boyfriends."

"But that's just it. I don't know if there's really anything for me to find with Dean, or anyone else, when I already have everything with…someone else."

Theresa is quiet for a moment, then she leans forward and sets her half-full cup on the low table in front of the couch. "Can I ask who this mystery boy is?"

Alex shakes her head. "Nobody, really. He's more like a friend than anything. And things are weird with us right now. I don't know what to do."

Justin tries not to think about anything in Theresa's silence. But he can't think of Alex referring to anyone else but him. Which, no, she would never be talking about him. Even though Alex's only friend is Harper, none of this makes sense. And he can't have his mind jumping to conclusions.

"It sounds like you don't want to be with Dean anymore," Theresa says, "You know it's not fair to be with him if your heart is somewhere else."

"I know. I just liked him so much."

"But if he's not what you want or what you need, then you should let him go."

Alex doesn't respond, so Justin quietly walks back up the stairs. He shuts himself in his room and he can finally breathe again. His heart aches at the sudden flare of hope, and he desperately tries to tamp it down, out of existence. Because down that delusional path only lies heartbreak. He's been doing so well, he can't allow himself to slip backward simply because Alex might be dumping Dean. It's not smart, it's not right.

Justin stares at his computer, wondering if he should bother Mona about this. He can't imagine what she would say about his _wrong_ conclusions. He doesn't need her to tell him he should continue to move on, regardless of what Alex may do in the future.

He crawls into bed, listening when Theresa and Alex walk past, into their bedrooms. He resolutely recites elements from the periodic table, until he falls asleep. He dreams about having a conversation with Silver until Argon rudely interrupts to ask about his feelings for Alex. He hitches a ride on Helium to float away, to avoid the answers in his heart.

He wakes, feeling light in body and carefully numb in his thoughts. It's perfect. He can focus on school and his afterschool activities without worrying about Alex. He has school and Alex has Dean, or whoever, for everything she needs. Justin doesn't have Alex, but he has everything he could need. He nearly smiles when he realizes how good he's gotten at lying, if only to himself.


End file.
